The Joke Thread

Spoiler: The Story of Little Timmy

Little Timmy was wandering around his house, minding his own business, and looks into his parents room as he walks by. He sees them having some "fun,"and asks them what they are doing. His parents respond, "We are making a cake." Little Timmy gets that thought in his head and later goes to bed that night. The next morning, he sees his parents on the couch having more fun, so later that day he asks them if they were making another cake on the couch this morning? His mother responds, "Yes, why..." Timmy says, "Because I already licked all the frosting off the couch."

 

What has 4 wheels and flies?

Spoiler: Answer

A garbage truck

sorry for dad joke

 

Did you read mine above?

 

Ye

 

Good joke?

 

Ye

 

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Why haven’t the Saints been able to eat cereal this past 3 years?

Cause they choke. Hard.

 

What's black, white, and red?
A nun that's fallen down the stairs.
What's black, white, and laughing?
The nun that pushed her.

 

Why did Sally fall of the swing?
She had no arms.

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Not Sally.

 

Heard it

 

Oooh here's a good one

How many dead hitchhikers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Spoiler: Answer!

Ummm... certainly not 4 because it's still pitch dark in my cellar...

 

jesus christ

 

Here's some dark humor

Spoiler: Joke (NSFW)

What's worse than twelve dead babies in a dumpster

 

Oh dang.

 

What does a cannibal do after eating a vegetable?

Spoiler: ANSWER!!!

Goes on eBay to see how much the wheelchair could sell for.

 

Here’s another one:
How do you circumsize a hillbilly?

Spoiler

You kick his sister in the jaw.

 

What animal has 5 legs?

Spoiler: ANSWEERRRRRRRRR

A pitbull returning from a playground.

 

When you die, which body part dies last?

Spoiler: Answer

The pupils- they dilate.

Not my joke

 

Ewwww nooo..... but that's actually good wordplay