The Joke Thread

same, I'm a musician

 

pianist

 

When you finger notes on your instrument and it starts getting french horny. Don't get a tromboner...

 

You can touch your cymballs though

 

ooooooooooof

 

i like her and she likes me an dude your fudge up

 

delete that man plz

 

never mind you did

 

u should delete ur comments if you dont want it to be seen.

 

Loganbodoh, are you a dog?

 

his profile picture's a dog

 

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Spoiler

7 slaughtered 9 and his family with rusty spoon.

 

a math teacher sneezed twice.
a student said "bless you squared".

 

actually in keeping in spirit with how this thread seems to have turned out, it was probably because 7 was a registered six offender

 

"wash your hands and blow your nose or else you might go sikko mode" -school

 

Ok then

What do newborn children and birds have in common?

Spoiler

They die when you kick them.

 

harsh much?

 

i have some dark jokes too:

1. My elderly relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying, "You'll be next!" They soon stopped though, once I started doing the same to them at funerals.
2. A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she's seeing someone. It's either really terrible news or really great news.
3. What is the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.
4. I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you're "being a respectful friend." Do it at home and you're "destroying evidence."
5. What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 mph? It's butt.
6. Never break someone's heart, they only have one. Break their bones instead, they have 206 of them.

 

Take of your socks and put on your crocs because this is gonna be a Wet ride.

 

Bork much yes doge oh hek