Pour Your Heart Out

Coolgamer3108 Hey I just wanted to say sorry, I have come to my senses and realized what I did was immature and unnecessary and I hope you can forgive me.

 

Going to make this short because my old draft was deleted:

About 3-4 weeks back someone in my cricket team hit me in the ribs with his illegal ball (because he scratched one half on his wall), I got knocked down because of how small I am (like 165cm) and I was already moving to avoid it. I went down for about 15 seconds on my knees rubbing it off and then I was ok. Everyone in my team that was there at training came over and asked if I was ok, because supposedly it was really loud, which I didn't notice. Anyway to the point. This experience sort of metaphorically reminded me not to let the small things get me down, the small thing in this case was a red, illegal, 156 gram, leather cricket ball. I'd also like to point out Marnus Labuschagne in the Ashes 2019 becoming the first ever concussion substitute in test cricket getting hit on the helmet grille first or second ball I can't remember and getting straight back up, Jofra Archer was bowling like 140km/h. A truly inspiring action from Marnie.

So I am normally a very active person and does a lot of sport (to enhance my point this weekend I played two games of cricket on Saturday, did a 20km run on Sunday, then went for a surf and swim at the beach). When COVID came however I found it very hard to exercise because on my mid-week (athletics) track sessions would be done at a local park on zoom and it felt like there was no one to push me or to talk to, it just didn't feel the same. I also felt really reluctant to train for anything and I lost quite a bit of fitness from lockdown. The only real time I exercised was when I went mountain biking with a friend on weekends which was fun, but I didn't do any running really during this period. I'll find a graph of what I did. I think the main reason I found it hard to exercise is because I'm somewhat of a competitive person and I like to train for competitions, the lack of competitions/races made it harder for me to gain a want to run, but I still did some occasionally.

Here is my running in kilometres. I went a bit crazy in January, 2/3 through March was my last Orienteering event and mid-july is when I started again. Expect November to go up by 40km by this weekend.

Here is my “cycling” graph which is just mountain biking. It was literally the only thing I felt like doing during lockdown and is quite high in April, May when I did it almost every week, now every 2-3, it was also easier to go to local trails with friends, because they had nothing to do otherwise.

Third thing I’d like to talk about is quite personal but why not, I’ll pour my heart out. So here goes:
So there’s this girl I like who I know from orienteering and I mean I really like her, as in I can’t really stop thinking about her. The thing is though I asked her if she’d like to do something which would be on this Saturday (I asked her like 5 weeks ago by the way), this wasn’t me asking her out, but I was going to at that specific event, yet she declined because she had other stuff on and I got really disappointed at that because I had made myself think she was going to say yes, which was a stupid trap I pulled myself into. Even worse I don’t have her contact or anything so I can’t keep in contact with her at all and the only time I see her is at Orienteering events which I can’t go to in cricket season (which is the next 5 months). In the next five months I'm only likely to see her at athletics events and the occasional orienteering event or training that is not when I play cricket. Does anyone know what to do in this scenario?
E; No need for advice anymore, 4 people already did this.

 

lol no, become friends with her and get to know her and then ask her out

 

if you see hear again straight ask her out ona real date of ask for her number. if she declines you know not to waste your time/thought. is she seays yes roll wit it and thank stig

 

Yeah really casual way of putting it out, but nevertheless effective. CHARREDLIZARD21 What are the chances of two people liking each other and one of them liking another? Very low, considering how she hardly knows you, based on the fact that you don't have her contact. When you become closer with her, you'll have a much larger chance of her actually liking you, instead of going straight to the point. To make it simple, think about how many girls you know. What are the chances of one single girl that you like will like you back? It could be any of those girls you know. I think you should gradually get closer to her as a friend first, instead of asking her outright without any evidence that she likes you.
P.S. I hope I actually helped. If not, then sorry.

 

the so-called ‘psychotically depressed’ person who tries to kill herself doesn’t do so out of quote ‘hopelessness’ or any abstract conviction that life’s assets and debits do not square. And surely not because death seems suddenly appealing. The person in whom Its invisible agony reaches a certain unendurable level will kill herself the same way a trapped person will eventually jump from the window of a burning high-rise. Make no mistake about people who leap from burning windows. Their terror of falling from a great height is still just as great as it would be for you or me standing speculatively at the same window just checking out the view; i.e. the fear of falling remains a constant. The variable here is the other terror, the fire’s flames: when the flames get close enough, falling to death becomes the slightly less terrible of two terrors. It’s not desiring the fall; it’s terror of the flames. And yet nobody down on the sidewalk, looking up and yelling ‘Don’t!’ and ‘Hang on!’, can understand the jump. Not really. You’d have to have personally been trapped and felt flames to really understand a terror way beyond falling.”

 

first off i am very sorry for this later reply to everyone, the past week or two have been very busy for me and i couldn't really find enough time to properly visit here. but anyway here i am.
NotSoSure
i agree with most of what you said, society is truly a disgusting place and an outstanding place for love if you only look at the right places. over the years i found ignoring negative and bad people is simply the best way to not deal with their crap. the world is already a difficult and hard place and no one deserves the toxicity lots of people bring to the table. just find the right people for you and stick with them and don't really visit wherever negativity hits you. talk to people you love and trust and focus on the good tiny place of society. my dms are always open if anyone needed someone to hear them out or for advice or for anything.
Coolgamer3108
i must say you've been in a lot of complicated frhd related issues lol. and i know you feel very crappy because of them but this is basically the whole point of "learning from mistakes". you made a mistake which shouldn't be repeated. learn the lesson and make sure to make a better decision next time. also helping others no matter how small the help is a good place to start. once you fully realize that we all make humans no matter how big or small we are. this is the point of learning anyways isnt it? we cant just learn from people's mistakes, the best lessons we learn are from mistakes we made. i have accepted mistakes in my life now. whenever i make a mistake, i apologize and try to fix the problem and not repeat it. and honestly answering someone who was rude to you is not a good decision either . dont fall to the other side's level and insult him/her back. if your opposite is mature enough then they will realize we all make mistakes and forgive you. its very simple. im glad you apologized and im happy you are trying to be a better person.
CHARREDLIZARD21
i really like your post since its both talking about your issues and how you handled them and also gave advice to people so there isnt much i can say other than how much i love your post. but you did ask for thoughts about your "personal third thing you wanted to talk about" lol.
i personally dont have much experience with your situation because i never really opened up about my feelings to any female i liked because i was always very shy or didnt know how to express my feelings. and the relationship i am in right now did not come from my personal efforts, she is the one who contacted me (yes im lucky lol). Anyway, what i want to say is that my best friend since childhood has always (or most of the time) been in situations very similar to yours. and we always talk alot about them and each situation is different from the other. but the easiest and most straightforward way we always had as an option was just go ask her and be honest with her but dont assume that she will accept. it sounds kinda reckless but if there arent better options this one is always available. or if you're not sure that she likes you and you dont wanna risk it with the first option you can get closer to her step by step. even though at times like this its extremely difficult im sure there are still ways to do so. maybe contacting her on social media, playing a game that she also plays (online games) or maybe other methods that you could prefer. usually one of these 2 always worked for my friend. but im not 100% aware of everything in your situation so you definitely can come up with better solutions. whatever you do i hope it ends well. but thats what i think about it : ).

 

little_penguin
one of the most interesting things i always loved to learn was the philosophical and extremely complicated issues related to the mind, how it works, and how to handle or fix them. im not sure what you said was talking about yourself or not but in this situation i will assume you are. im not an expert in psychotically depressed people and not even in the topic. but i read almost every day about it and i try to understand it as much as i can, believe me.
yes, its true, death to many many people seems appealing and seems much much more merciful than their current situation. but, its not the answer. you might be tired of hearing this but it truly isnt the answer. now i don't know your beliefs or religion or anything so i can't properly write something to help you. if you're seriously feeling depressed or think about self-harm i'll be more than glad to help you out or listen to your issues. again, im no expert in this but i will try to help you navigate at least. if you think i am worthy of helping you please dm me. but i will say a few things anyway:
to me, life is all about helping others. there is nothing more enjoyable than realizing that you managed to help another human being, another soul and help them navigate through or clear their mind up.
this is what i call life. yes, life also has a negative side but why focus on that when i can focus on the positive side? why focus on the dark and evil side of life where i can simply make my own self happy by helping others? why share sadness when i can share happiness? isnt happiness what we all deserve? isnt happiness the goal of countless humans? isnt that what humanity tried to accomplish throughout all the years? i refuse to let depression control my mind and soul. i talk alot about how to help others and how good it is but everyone needs to realize that to be able to help others you must help yourself first. its not that easy just to help others and enjoy it. and even more important than helping others is helping yourself. you need yourself the most.
again, my dms are open to anyone. if you need/want help, please contact me.

 

Firstly, I should’ve explained my position slightly more, this sort of wasn’t helpful because it’s practically what I’ve been trying to do, but I didn’t tell you that so thanks.

That was literally what I was going to do, because I had no idea what could possibly work better given the circumstances, so thanks, at least I have someone to corroborate my thinking with.

Yeah, well I know her quite well (not very, only for about a year) and most events we talk for a few minutes, but I wasn’t clear on that, sorry. With the contact, I went through high school without social media (which I still haven’t gotten) and only getting like 10 peoples numbers, so yeah. I know a lot of girls, yet I have no idea if any of them like me but there is one that might but idk really. E; this was worded really badly, but idc

Thanks man, you seem to be very similar to me, because I used to be incredibly shy, but got better through high school. What you suggested was what I was thinking and if it doesn't turn out like I hope, I'll just ask for a friendship, which we sorta already have. I'm also planning on asking my friend for help because he knows my situation a bit better.

I probably should have explained the situation in more depth, but it was a fault on my behalf. Anyways thanks yous guys fors the helps, I think I have a better idea of what to do.
Have nice day ezzyone else.

 

Congrats on the pin Madara, this thread has helped a lot of people and you really deserve it!

 

This is a very good insight and very well worded. Depression is often caused by people repressing their negative thoughts and having noone to discuss them with. You are absolutely right bro, good on you.

 

some people know stuff about me, but for those who don't, life bad is a good enough summary, it goes from one problem to the next, I try to ignore it for as long as I can but eventually I just break, and even when I'm not broken I wake up every morning so mentally drained or tired having to put on an act that I ended up repeating and now being kicked out of school, but you know I don't really have a choice, no one wants to be surrounded by someone who seems down 24/7 as it's draining for them too and since being social is a big part of who I am I would rather not be alone throughout my schooling years, I had aspired to study physics in uni and this was something that I had worked very hard towards for over a period of months, ending up with a score of 30/50 on my end of year exam, enough to land me a spot in physics next year and then onto uni, but sadly through some bias, bad luck and not the best reputation I was told there was no spot for me at my school next year, taking me away from my friend group for a 2nd time in less than a year, I really don't have any inspiration to continue studying at my new school and don't see me going to uni with the score I strived for, tomorrow is the last day I will attend the school I have been attending for a number of years, for the past 2 years December has not been my most pleasurable month in fact being the worst in both years, I feel even though I had an unfortunate march with a close irl friend lost to certain causes it feels like this time I'm losing all of them at once this time, I'm not really sure why I'm writing this as it's not really going to change anything about my future or my thoughts on how I am going to go about my life but even though I say to myself I'll be ok and it's temporary I know it's not and that one day my problems will not just fade away. But yeah that's a little insight into how I've been going over the past months I've been away

 

Holy sh.it, guys I'm about to die. I was the first person to respond to this thread with a problem that I wanted to share and Madara still hasn't given me any life advice about my problems. It's causing me an immense amount of stress, I don't understand how people can appreciate this thread while it's actively ignoring some people in it. I've poured my heart out and now my empty heart has been thrown away by Madara.

I view my problem as one of, if not the most serious problem in this thread. I hope for my sake that Madara is just incapable of giving me advice for such a hard problem instead of ignoring me. Or else I might just collapse, as I would have been abandoned by someone people hold up high as someone who helps deal with people's problems.

The stress is eating away at me to the point where I am practically an empty husk, unable to portray proper emotion or spell words correctly. I've tried my hardest to perfect my grammar for this final message but I think it may be too late.

If I never spell a word correctly and never show up again it's all Madara's fault.


- Coager (the client you forgot about)

 

Exylies
thank you very much : )

Imbetterthanyo
much appreciated : )

we_are_number_one
first and foremost i really appreciate what you shared. i know many people feel way too insecure to share any of their issues or a story from their life. sometimes including myself lol. avoiding or ignoring problems don't really work which im positive that you have found out now. the shortest way and sometimes the only one is to solve the issue if possible. or to try to at least. and that really requires a strong deal of will power. thinking through issues and trying to find the best solution is incredibly hard and takes a ton of practice. i can't really help you that much right now since you need yourself more than you need anyone. but i'll say a few things tho. your past doesn't have to be your future, you have a bad reputation? you can make a good one for the future. not easy i agree. you have to go through it though. friends? yes, they are very important but they are not everything. im pretty sure everyone loves to have a friend where you can talk, hang out and share thoughts. but like the most important person in your life is yourself. and sadly many many people are afraid of themselves, why? because they dont know themselves very well. how can you trust a person you don't know? when you get the key to yourself which is knowing yourself inside out then solving issues becomes way easier. and you are totally correct, all of this is temporary. stay strong bro. we are all your friends here (maybe not the toxic ones). : )

Coated_Badger
go see a therapist.

 

Madara I am quiting from rapping and going to become a singer any advice for me?

 

https://community.freeriderhd.com/threads/rapperjackretires.12671/

 

wow thats so true its like ur descibeing how i feel

 

i need someone to love and talk to i hate life and that is exatly how i feel

 

RAPPERJACK
im sorry i dont have knowledge in the music industry. maybe ask a professional?

MaDmAn63
you can always share your story here. its very effective for some people and it also could be for you. and try to find good friends in the community. and my dms are always open if you wanted to talk. sorry if i couldnt answer tho im drowning in homework.

 

well heres y im depressed cause i have not seen my mom since i was 3 i don't know my parents i hate my grandparents cause they treat me like aslave a my grandmother hates me i can't have a phone my real grandma was a whore and overdosed 2 years ago i herad that my mom has od 4 times in the past month im suprized she still alive i have 13 dogs i have to take care of 6 horeses and 9 chickens i have to take care of all of them its a pain in the as and i don't really have a true friend i can talk to rihgt now and i have been thinkin about ethier killing meself witch i have already tried or running away the only reason i have'nt yet is because i have my life in front of me and i will go to hel