Pour Your Heart Out

I guess right now for you all I can say is you can't change the past. I get that whatever you've gone through must've been so hard and moving that many times just isn't healthy. My therapist told me this and so I'll tell this to you and anyone else who is going through tough time's right now. You can't control the outcome, you can only control the process. You can't control whether or not you move back in with your step dad, or whether you stay at your grandma's house, but what you can control is how you react and respond to everything around you. Don't do something stupid you'll regret and don't don't do something that will change your life just because it worked in the moment. Alright? This is just a season of life that you're going through and it will get better. Maybe it will get worse before it get's better, who knows and it doesn't matter because you can't control what everyone else does around you, but I guarantee that when the dust settles everything will be alright.

 

Thanks a million, I'll just try to make the best of it

 

Exactly! If you need anything else just ask

 

AlexTheOctopus

 

Cerasium
having irrational parents is unfortunate and common. but also a little simple to deal with. the simplest way to deal with it in your situation is to do all your assignments on time and try to not miss any classes or assignments. and spending 1-2 hours sitting with your family (if possible) and then after that, they will probably stop being mad at you since you have done your duty as a member of the family. finding other hobbies and interests is the way to go in my opinion. being limited to one or two games is really unhealthy. it seems like you would like friends, maybe go outside, go to a park, go to a playground, go to a gaming center. ask your classmates what games do they like? maybe you have something in common. and if these weren't possible then you need to learn to cope with being alone with yourself. sooner or later you have to cope with it. finding a serious game or hobby and trying to improve in it. learning a language, a hard game, a hard puzzle. a new craft. something you enjoy. maybe searching for things. you have many options to consider. also, we're all your homies here. you can share what you want, ask what you want, and do what you want. you have a life filled with options and decisions ahead. consider them carefully and cheer your life up in as many ways as you can. life is totally worth it. you're still very young, life's worth will appear to you sooner or later. the point is to go through life with a positive attitude. and a nice smile.

Wayward
moving from one living style to another is quite difficult especially for a very social person such as you. alot of what you said i could totally relate to. wearing baggy clothes, being taller than the rest of the class, and always having earphones on. it gets really uncomfortable when someone criticizes you. i also get called out for wearing inappropriate clothes for college or visits. i just learned to be me. if i want to wear baggy clothes and put my headphones on, thats my choice and thats me. this is who i am. you can like or dislike it. unlike you tho i dont care anymore. i grew to learn that whatever people think it doesnt matter. these things are harmless and personal preferences. and if someone cant accept it, do i really want that person around me? or as my friend? no. if im gonna have friends, i want them to like me for who i am regardless of what i wear. but im not blaming you here, when i was your age i was the same. it just takes time really. learning what to ignore and what to accept and think about is something very important. theres nothing wrong with trying to make people around you happy unless its stepping on your dignity. if someone is mad at you and you havent done anything, and they refuse to answer you, do they really deserve your attention? life is already super hard, having people make it more difficult is very irritating. anyone that doesnt make your life easier, kick them out. if someone isnt really interested to be with you, what the point in caring what they think?.
accepting yourself is also something that comes with time. sooner or later, you'll realize that you are all you have. you have one body, one soul to take care of. im not against people giving advice. if someone loves you they will definitely give you advice and its good to consider it. but eventually its your decision on how to live, look and act. you need to be happy with yourself. if you're not happy with yourself and about yourself, making others happy wont truly make you happy. it all comes around to self acceptance. i accept myself for wearing baggy clothes and having headphones in my ear. im respecting other people's space around me and im respecting my own likenesses and wants as well. i hope this helped you navigate through your situation.
as for being alone at home without much or any interactions with your friends, i'll just quote to you what i wrote to cerasium above, "and if these weren't possible then you need to learn to cope with being alone with yourself. sooner or later you have to cope with it" being alone is bliss when it's used properly. it's a gem if discovered, it needs your willingness to accept it. and t explore it. my best time is when im alone with my thoughts and tools. its truly amazing.

epicfrog
honestly, Wayward summed up everything i would've wanted to stay. it was a great post.

 

school is pretty unepic ya'll. its so demanding. having only 1 year of it left, everything just gets exponentially harder and more fast paced. i go to school, don't understand stuff, try figure it out at home, that doesn't work, i ask the teacher in class the next day, but don't you know it, we're moving on from that topic into something else.

i myself have set high standards for me to accomplish, standards which while may seem high to others, i fully know im capable of and exceeding. i get home, watch like half an hour of youtube, then study for 3-4 hours, even more on nights before tests. i just had 3 tests in the last 3 days as of writing, and i'm burnt out from all of them. and its only gonna get harder for me

all you guys that are in younger school years, regardless of what school system, enjoy those years. the crux of school is painful and completely tiresome. i can't stress this enough. enjoy that freedom while you have it everyone here that is stressing about school, i competely get you. i posted this on discord, but i'll add it here if some of you guys need tips on how to study better. this is just stuff that ive found helps me.

also, just a note, pointed out by RubeGoldberger, for number 6, if the topic is foundational to what you are learning, learn it. but if you get behind on a topic and it isnt as important, forget about it. if you keep backtracking, you'll just get further and further behind.

i hope this helped someone. if it didnt, i wasted this time when i could have been studying

 

on tuesday it was the first time i stayed up until three in the morning to finish an assignment. i needed to get a presentation done to talk about it on wednesday.

we ran out of time on wednesday for me to present.

thank you, dantexpress, for forewarning me about the stress and vigor of high school. i will keep that in mind. you've been very helpful mate.

 

That reminds me of a time I pulled an all-nighter for a project. Finished a half hour before leaving for school. Luckily I didn't feel half dead though.

Looks like you would probably already do this, but if you have a major project/assignment due the next day and you have lots to do, an all-nighter is worth it. What is one night's sleep out of the whole year? If it will save your grade (or bring you towards your goal), do it. I got the highest grade on the project because I actually finished. If I remember correctly I was the only one who finished. Still wasn't enough to get an A in the class though, I was so close

 

I think about my grandpa now, all the time
Sometimes I want to be with him again, to experience my childhood again
I really miss him. He seems so far away, even though I could join him if I wanted.
I used to go to my grandparents house every summer, I used to have the most fun every single day. It was a time of pure innocence, a time of pure joy, and I loved every single moment of it.
Every day there was happiness, no matter what I did.
Everyday was better with my grandma, and grandpa.
My grandpa was a cool dude, and it sucks that he is so distant now
I haven't been able to talk to him for a while now, and it doesn't help that my parents haven't allowed me to visit for the past 2 summers either.
I miss the time of innocence, I miss his presence in my life sometimes.
When the times come, that I miss him, they are really bad. I can cry if I think about how I haven't been able to see him in a while.
I cry about how I never even got to say good bye to him. I wonder if me missin him this much is even normal (I mean, it's been only two and a half years, right?)
Yet, I can't shake how much I want that innocence and happiness in my life again, when I am lacking it. And from my last paragraph, I'm telling my mom about my sexuality on Friday, I'm not backing down this time. I'm afraid of losing my happiness forever when I do though, because if she doesn't accept me, I might just run to be with my grandpa again.
It hurts thinking about it, but I just wanted to be happy, and whenever I am sad, it cuts deep into my soul.

He died back in 2019. Sometimes, I wake up and think about joining him. To stop this pain. To stop the emotional suffering I experience. I don't want to leave, but I just can't stop thinking about it lately. I think about giving in.

 

Ooof. That's deep to hear. It also hurts to see someone like this because I lost my father at the end of December 2020 and I sometimes have these episodes. I don't know what to say about this because, I'm still learning and grieving. Even though he's gone, the memories are forever within you. It doesn't matter how long it's been since he died, everyone has those times when they dearly miss a loved one.

If you go to the grave, it won't just ruin you but it will destroy relationships centered and connected to you. If you give in, it will cause another burden on your family, friends and especially your mother. Your life means something, you don't know the purpose yet but, soon you will. About the sexuality stuff, don't know what to say.

Even though I can't say or do much to help, all I can say is, hang in there. Things are going to get rough before the storm subsides. It does take guts to take the time to do this and me proud of that. People here accept you and don't forget about that. Someone here will give you the guidance to your struggle.

- Fluoride
P.S. I can't help much with your claim. Someone with more experience here can help you out.

 

Oops I forgot to reply to Shamatoz. I'll just mention them
ShamatoZ Read above bro

 

life is good rn.

 

one time i accidently brought a garbagecan into the house.

 

Does anyone have advice for me... there’s a girl that l like and don’t know how/what I should do to express that without seeming/acting like a dumba**

 

Just tell her, you have nothing to lose.

 

Also 911 turbo

 

i dont think that will help you get the girls

 

So true tried to upload image but to big for sever to process

 

Cerulean called me noob, im sad

 

I never called you a noob directly...