Pour Your Heart Out

Yo. That still makes you really smart. I'm 13 now and in Algebra 1. Your 2 years ahead of me, and still younger. So whatever bullies may say to you, just know that you are a lot smarter than someone who is older than you, even if just by a little.

 

I hate to admit this problem of mine but it's gotten much too serious to keep to myself and I need some advice.

Cheaterulean has ruined Marbula 1 Season 2 for me. Here's why:
An African racer in Marbula 1 Season 2 has the same name as him. And by association I can't help but get turned off of his team the Kobalts. They're a pretty cool team but I just can't stand to even look at Cerulean because it reminds me of how much of a cu.nt cheaterulean is all the time.
Cerulean is a genuinely good racer and I want to be able to stand watching the matches he's in so that I can watch him get dominated by the team I actually cheer for. It would be good for me to not feel angry while watching a sport that I really enjoy but I don't know how to fix this. Cerulean isn't the best racer in the season, in fact he's only scored a single bronze medal, but he's still decent enough that he makes a decent amount of appearances in each race.
Each appearance acts as a trigger that makes me angry for a solid 2 seconds. Cheaterulean has ruined this entire sporting event for me and it seems like there's nothing I can do about this.
Guys, please help me.

Sincerly,
Coager, A speeders fan.

 

Damn

 

When I was 2 years old I was put up for adoption. My parents both chose drugs and other "pleasures" over taking care of me. Now I live in a pretty abusive family. I get hit more than once or twice a week. I get called a mistake and retard basically everyday. Its a hard life. Ive never wanted to tell anyone about this because I have very bad anxiety. Ive had to see 3 different counselors all at the same time. Ive missed school because of appointments with psychologists. My brother Overdosed in April of last year. It was very traumatic for me. Sometimes I wish I was dead but in the end I know it isn't the right way. Im sorry guys

 

I'm so sorry man. If you need to talk, talk to me because I'll be there for you

 

Thank you dude there;s more but i cant talk about it

 

That's fine. Try to make a playlist of songs that make you happy and make you feel better. That's what I do

 

Madara my parents divorced when my mom was pregnant, I think they had an argument about something but I'm really not sure. I lived with my mom in till I was about 8-9, moved to my dad's house and me and my brother and sisters visited our mom about every week because her house wasn't very far away. Eventually she didn't want us to see her because she was having problems with smoking and related items. But that whole time my stepsister went into a foster home and then went to a close family to my mom, so she still saw her every once in awhile. While me and my siblings were at our dad's house, he married someone else also in the church and she seemed really nice and cared about us a lot. But then she had a baby when I was 10 or 11 I think. She spent a lot of time with her, because she's a baby after all. But that never stopped. She got spoiled and she knew how to use a tv remote at 1 year old! That's crazy! Then she was always watching youtube videos, which eventually us other kids weren't allowed to watch because she "didn't trust us" she became ignorant and selfish records anyone except my stepsister who got anything she wanted if she asked enough while if we asked even twice, we would be threatened by her that we would be grounded. All of us other kids hated her soo much and she knew that, but she really didn't care and we couldn't do anything about her talking about us getting in trouble with something we didn't even do, it was always her fault. nd my step mom would always side with her, never anyone else. Then about a year ago, she had another baby, she was having problems with internal bleeding and she almost died, and sadly I had some bad thought at the time because I hated her too. After like 6 years of being with her and not a single word about our real mom, we finally got told that we were going to meet her at a park. When we met her she looked a little different but she was so nice a loving. We got to see her every 2 weeks she was available because we live 3 hours apart. After a few months I literally ran away because I was so mad. My step mom was driving on the street I was riding my bike on to get away though, so she drove me home and called my dad. He gave me a long talk about why my step mom didn't deserve that and why I didn't see my real mom for so long, but not many details. Because he said that she didn't deserve that so many times I knew that he really cared about her, a lot. But when I talked to my step mom about it she didn't say a single thing about my dad not deserving it. So I can't say that my step mom cares as much about my dad as he does to her. I'm 14 now and over the past 6 years I have considered running away and commuting suicide so many times, I still have them to this day. I got to go to my mom's wedding, she married a guy that's runs a giant homeless center that was an unused jail before that. I love them so much and I love that my step dad is doing all he can to help homeless people. Right now my mom knows all about what is happening in our house because we tell her but we can't do anything about it. My older sister went to collage but had to come back a few months ago. And she said that my dad came up to her and said that he doesn't want her talking about them. But if he is telling her that then he knows that something is wrong. Why doesn't he change it, I have no idea. My brother went off to live with my mom and step dad because of a habit he started and that my mom and step dad were also doing. I really want to go and live at their house and I'm pretty sure all of my other siblings do too, my older sister can do anything she wants by law so she is going to move there. I really wish I could speak my mind without getting yelled at, even just a little piece it would be nice. But we can't do anything here that involves telling them what we think about things, it really sucks and like earlier if you were paying attention, I was having bad thoughts when my mom was having internal bleeding and I still am even though she isn't anymore. If I could choose either having no step mom or having this one I would choose none. If I could choose between her dying or her staying... I know what I would choose but I would never do it to her or anyone else even though my choice remains the same

 

Not to long ago I told everyone on here that I am gay and I wanted to tell my parents.
Well 2 days ago I told my parents and they were so happy for me.
They said "Jack we love you no matter what just be you!"
I started to cry because I was so happy.
I have to thank the people who were there for me AlexTheOctopus Blank_Guy Daniboi123
Thank you for being there when I am down.
Also thank you everyone for dealing with me on here.
It was really hard for me to tell my parents but I told them and I felt better.
Also thank you Madara for making this thread it means a lot.
-RAPPERJACK

 

Your welcome and I will always be there for you

 

<3

 

Aw dude!

 

fuzzyman8
you sir are a procrastinator. and thats very typical and normal. which means there are solutions. now since you have straight A's that already means that you dot have that much of an issue. you just want some actual free time and doing something else other than gaming. now i used to do that, not anymore tho (actually sometimes i do lol). anyways you need more habits. now always playing games is indeed not a very good thing. life is much more than entertainment which you appear to understand.
the solution depends on your likes and wants. i personally decided to try out other activities. i chose chess and rubiks cube to pass my time. That isnt enough btw, but this way im never getting bored of doing the same thing over and over. and also with opening this thread and joining discord servers where i can help others. because i like helping and mind games. as for you, think of what you like and want to do more, find the best activity to do it. do you like sports? ride a bike, skate, play football or soccer and etc. do you like reading? buy a bunch of books from different genres and learn new things with every book you read. do you like puzzles and mind games? play chess, search for puzzles, jigsaw, buy actual puzzles to train your mind. and many other things you can do.
doing these are very challenging btw, so it will need some good determination from you. and slowly day by day, you know more about what you like and can do well. : )

Bridgton_Baller
im sorry to hear that. its a tough life you are living. its unfortunate what your parents have done but im sure you can go through this. as you said, suicide is not the way and i congratulate you for understanding that soon. there are a few more things that you need to understand tho. life is always hard for everyone, in different forms. even with your hardships, you can make something great out of your life. a simple attitude can make your life turn around. being positive that you can make your life better and help others. it doesn't matter what anyone goes through, you can go through them like a champ. until you become an adult and decide how to make your dreams come true. its a long journey that ends with you doing the things you love, they won't happen easily of course. it will take time but eventually, you can do it. life is beautiful but you have to work hard to find the essence of existence. we'll pray for you and you pray to God as well. life will become better with time. and im always here if you needed anything, whether on this thread or via Dm's. : )

Obbyspeeder10
thanks for sharing your story with us. i dont really know what to exactly tell you and i thought a lot lol. but its a matter of patience for you. you need patience. the patience enough to wait until you can go live with your actual mom. there doesnt seem to be alot of things to do other than staying strong and waiting. think of it as an academy to train you for life. seriously, what you're going through is not easy, neither is life. also remember that having bad thoughts happens to alot of us but if you think correctly and know that they are wrong, they will go away soon. so stay patient and try to be like your actual moms husband. he seems like a great guy and helps people. be like him, wait until you grow up and help others. this is how great people are often going through, lots of difficult situations that they learn from the best way possible. and your situation is quite simple, just wait and be patient and polite. dont try to run away again just try to be kind and a good kid. soon when you grow up, either the situation changes or you'll be old enough to make the right decisions. and have the correct thoughts. we're all here for you if you needed help, stay strong. : )

 

You deserve something like the "best advisor" or "nicest person" title ngl

 

Hey that's my title lol

 

Why are you not mod yet?

 

Ah, thank you. I am already enrolled in Boy Scouts and am actively involved in my troop. But I do like reading and do a lot of that, too. So you may be wondering, "So, what the heck did you need me for?" Well, you helped me to realize that my problem isn't really that bad at all, and for that I thank you.

 

I hate my mom. So here in Canada, our grading system is different from other countries (as seen below).

So, I'm practicing my violin for school and I decide to give her progress updates. I got a 76 on a recording, then a 78 on a recording. After I get the 78 she tells me to "practice for 10 minutes." Thing is that with the program that I'm using, I have an infinite amount of takes for any song so I can practice while improving my grade. I tell her I got an 80 on a recording and then tells me to "practice" despite telling me explaining that I didn't submit it and that I got an infinite amount of takes. My sister intervenes on my side. I go back in my room to practice some more and then my mom barges in and starts yelling at me. She proceeds to grab my violin bow and tries to hit me. I know a bit of karate and I'm about an inch taller than her so I block her attacks and re-take my bow. She then accuses me of hoping that if I told her I got the 80%, she would tell me that I can submit and stop. She then says "how hard is it to practice" and tells me that I should stop pulling on my boy parts and TRIES TO FU CKING PULL IT LIKE A FU CKING CHILD MOLE STER. She also tries to break my phone before I grab it back and explain how the grades were just progress updates and I once again tell her that I have an infinite amount of tries on this one song (and all my others). She said that I had to submit 2 songs instead of 1 by tonight and that they have to be 100%. She never knows my limits despite that they're obviously there. She always has high expectations for me. And anything under an A- is bad. She wants me to be like my sister who brings strait As. I really don't know what to do, I'm typing this while crying. I bet that if I told her that on a take I got a 91% (which is true) she would still be pissed at me for "not practicing for 10 minutes" despite the fact that I'm practicing while also potentially improving my grade.

 

Dude i'm so sorry about what happened. You don't deserve for people -especially your mom- to treat you like that.