Pour Your Heart Out

Sltg28
im very sorry for your loss. i will pray for your family.
you asked if what you talked about was good or bad, i personally say its neither. you dont have to be damaged forever because everyone has a weakness. no matter how strong anyone is, there is always a weakness because thats how we are wired. thats how humans are. you have to accept it as a natural state of life. no one will be strong without weaknesses. in fact, now i see your cousin as a much more mature person. crying is not easy, it takes alot of strength.
the fact that you didnt cry may have many reasons. your relationship with your great-grandmother may have not been as strong as you may think. which is fine. even if it was, its still fine. when my grandfather and grandmother died, i didnt cry. but i was really sad. crying and not crying are both normal here. you dont need to cry. but i really admire you for hugging everyone that needed it. its such a great gesture from you, huge respect for that. losing someone is a very unhappy incident. but this is the way life goes. its ok to be sad for some time, but then you need to realize that they are now in a better place. and try to live a better life because thats what you should do and thats also definitely what your great grandmother would've wanted you to do. to continue living with optimism.
i hope you'll get better soon. please let me know if you wanted to share anything else. : )

 

My grandpa's sister died a few years ago.
She had some form of dementia or Alzheimer's, so we all knew her time was coming soon. We were more mentally prepared for her death than passed family members (or at least I was). I didn't think I would cry because I was never that close to her and she only spoke Spanish, so I didn't understand her (this was long before I had Spanish classes). That was until my Grandpa went up to say a few things.

My Grandpa is the nicest human being I have ever known. He always treats you like he owes you something, always tries to make you laugh, likes company, talks to everyone, doesn't hold anything against you, tries to make you feel better if your sad... He's always lazy, tired, happy, or content. I have never seen him cry.

When he started speaking he sounded normal, but his voice quickly became unsteady and he sounded like he was holding back tears. Then he started crying through his words. I was already crying by that point, but now the tears were really flowing. I had to stay especially quite though because I was filming the service with my dad (my dad in the back corner and me from a different angle seating with guests).

When he finished, I quickly calmed back down and felt little to nothing again. Even walking up to the casket and hugging her close family, I felt little to nothing. I think I cried for my grandpa. I had never heard him so sad before. I almost cried again later sitting in the passenger seat of his van while he called family in Puerto Rico to tell them the sad news because he was holding back tears again.

- - - - - -
A bit different than your reaction for sure, but I guess that was the only time someone broke a high standard I held them to. I don't think anything is "wrong" with you. Just different and that's fine. It hurt you to see others hurting. It hurts me too and that's why I cried when I saw my grandpa cry. I wouldn't worry, I think it is fine.

Sometimes I wonder how I will react to another family member's death. It's definitely something I don't recommend thinking about, but so far the only family that has died are ones who I haven't really been close to, so I don't feel much (until my grandpa cried of course). I don't know how close you were to your great grandmother. Could that have to do with your reaction? Even if you were, it's alright. Everyone feels differently about death, even if you don't understand why you react that way I'm sure everyone appreciates your sympathy.

 

Thanks guys i appreciate all the help given and nice all the answers
This is what I love from this community
DillyDally
Thanks man I appreciate it so much but there is no need to be sad about it, just pray for her and everything will be fine
Daniboi123
Thanks I appreciate it sooo much thank you so much
Madara
I agree in full with the first part of it. We are humans and we commit mistakes. We aren’t perfect so we will have weaknesses. But it’s such a rough thing to see, that it hurts a lot. I don’t know if it has happened to you, but having a person you love and appreciate laying in your shoulder decomposing in tears, hurts, and hurts a lot. But I have to assume it had to happen as there is nobody strong enough to don’t cry anytime in his life. (He had a stronger relationship with her than me)
I see what you mean in the second part of it. My relationship with her wasn’t as strong as I thought, so I didn’t found a reason to cry to. I guess it’s just because my emotions react different.
But some experiences I’ve had have made me less expressive, when talking about emotions, than what I was before.
RubeGoldberger
I can absolutely see what you mean on the first part of it. Such levels of empathy are very appreciated. Thanks
About the second part I have something to say. As I said before, my relationship with her wasn’t as strong as I thought. But I can’t still don’t get why I don’t feel anything. She is part from my family.
But I like thinking about how would I react if any family member died. It’s recommendable and not recommendable in first place. It’s recommendable because it’s something that can happen nowadays and you can prepare a little for them. But it isn’t because you can create fake scenarios in your head in which you are stronger than what you think, or, as it happens to me, you can get really sad thinking about death (especially if it’s at 4 am)

 

No problem my guy

 

So my parents fight all the time, practically everyday. And don't really pay attention to me and my brother unless its about our grades, we did something bad, or if were doing sports. Knowing my brother he's barley athletic, so he barley gets attention, but his grades have been pretty bad for a while now, so while my parents are fighting my brother needs bad help with his work. I remember the other day, he asked for some help while my parents were fighting and all they said was "Go the hell away, we're busy" and I felt really bad, and its not like I could help him at all. He's 15 and in highschool. I'm really worried about him and I don't want him to either get held back or have to go to summer school. I don't know what to do, and im really scared, I care about my brother (surprisingly) and I don't want anything bad to happen to him.

 

I am sorry about your brother.

 

I am very sorry to hear I will be praying for you, your brother if there is anything you need help with or anything you want to talk about let me know

 

If the problem is that your brother doesn't understand schoolwork, then he can seek outside help to assist him in his studies, by asking his friends, or other people online. That is what I usually do when I need help with work, and I find that it's pretty effective. And if his peers are busy, try seeking help outside of his friend zone. For example, you could ask people on frhd forums for guidance, or maybe you have some friends that can help him. As for your parents fighting, I have parents like yours too, though they don't fight every day, but one of them dislikes the other so yeah, but I think it'd be best to just let them fight for the moment, and let them let out their steam. If your situation keeps escalating, maybe you could start telling them how they're really like, and showing your parents how they're taking out their stress on you.

 

I am going to be honest I have been depressed for awhile. I feel like my family is falling apart. I have on brother and two sisters me being the oldest. My dad and brother have started yelling at each other more often. My brother also abuses my sister by punching her and he like teasing her and my parent wont do anything about it. When I try and help her I get in trouble. My mom yells at me. And my sister makes fun at me. I haven’t been doing to well in school. I have thought about running away at times or hurting my brother. Seeing my family fall apart has brought me much sadness

 

AlexTheOctopus Gotta agree with him
I am open to helping your brother with grades if you, and he, want. I'm also 15 so I may be in the same grade, or one up, as him. Let me know what you think.

 

Thanks man!
I'll talk to him about it and see what he want's to do.

 

[redacted cuz mate that was cringe]

 

hello everyone, most of you already know this but i'll make a post about it for the future new members and also because a very dear frhd member gave a few good points on why this is necessary.

any post you make should be either something you want to share or a very well thought advice for someone. and if there is something you would like to discuss with someone or something you disagree on, please take it to DM's immediately. no need to even ask, start the convo, and the DM receiver has the freedom to answer or not. any spamming here will be really frowned upon. if you are sharing a story or something, its ok to make a post or two. as long as they are well thought, worded, and sinciere.

however, this is not to make you guys post any less, only to stop the spamming and unnecessary messages to stop. thank you all : )

 

did you write that because of what i wrote?
(also charred told me to put what i wrote on this thread, so i didn't do it without his permission, if that's what it seemed like)

 

no, not at all. that message wasnt posted because of you lol. dont worry. you're a member whom i wish to continuously post.

 

Love is the most bi-polar thing their will ever be, you fall into it and it becomes a drug, a drug that makes you feel amazing or throws you 6 feet deep. Be careful who you love and who you trust to be your drug because when they hurt you and cut off that supply of the drug that they have turned into for you, you will be weak, you will be broken, and you will want to end it........... - Myself

 

being in a long distance realationship during quarantine in hard

 

being in any relationship whenever regardless close or long distance is hard tbh

 

fair

 

guys i need help or advice on some thing happened. my best friend btw is 16, and hes super depressed because hes doing bad in school and his mom doing more drugs. his mom is addicted to smoking but does more drugs now becayse she doesnt have a job anymore because of the virus. he was sleeping depressed in bed with his dog then mom came in his room and takes his dog and put a bag on it then she killed the dog with her car outside and he went outside why she was taking dog he didnt see the dead dog but then his mom came back home and said she killed it because you are spending too much time with dog and sleeping in school and he started crying because thats was his favorite dog friend but then he got really angry cuz mom killed his favorite dog then he was choking her and she almost died and then he realized what hes doing and called 911 cuz he thought she was dead and now hes gonna go to jail now like forever and hes on suicide watch and stuff cuz he tried to kill himself and was super sad because he is separated from him mom now .he told me the whole story on the phone because he cant leave the house
.idk what to do im just super scared cuz hes like big brother to me and i dont wanna lose him and my parent telling me now hes bad person now and is bad influence to me and thats not true he just make a big mistake. anyone help or advice how can I help my best friend in any way and how do i tell my parents thats he not a bad person ??