Pour Your Heart Out

Thanks Madara.

 

Ok so here goes my response: This is basically just how to be a better version of yourself and advice.

Part 1: Mental Health
So your mental health is the important thing to look after, a lot more than your own body. Sure you need to look after that, but this is wayyyyyy more important. Your mental health controls your mood, emotions, etc. and if you have a weak mental health your happiness won't last as long (after a fun activity) and you'll find yourself very deflated and feel your not good enough (which is bad). I've had mental health issues when I was about 12, but I figured out that I should not worry about certain things and I need to take breaks every once in a while. Bad Mental Health can just rip you apart and once you notice any signs of you getting less confident or more saddened by the same thing or just feeling deflated more often, reach out for help. Reaching out is the hardest thing to do, but you are more of a man or woman for doing so and some helplines are completely confidential so there is really nothing to worry about, the people are there to help, not to tease. Another great thing to do, is to look at how you view the world and look at what you do and re-assess yourself and check if anything to do with that is causing some issues, also figure out why you are getting upset or down and try to think of why that is happening and what you can do to prevent those feelings. Since I've stopped worrying so much I've felt happier and more confident in myself, it's something worth fixing (if you have a problem) and stopping it at the start is the best thing to do. If you are feeling overly stressed or something, take some time out, read a book, go for a walk, do something you enjoy to take your mind off the problem. If you see someone you know becoming detached from society and looking down, it's best to ask them if they're ok. You never know, you could have saved a life.

Part 2: Physical and General Health
Now, this is probably the second most important out of the heaths (social, financial, spiritual). For this one you don't have to be over the top on but just try be somewhat healthy. This might include exercising regularly, eating well or not becoming dependent on something you don't need (like taking drugs you are not prescribed to). Try to eat good food and limit your unnecessary junk food and try not to develop bad habits such as drinking alcohol everyday (although most of the community can't legally do that so), if it helps, keep a sheet on how much in each category you've eaten (I've personally NOT done this, but It might help, idk). With exercising just stick to a schedule during something you enjoy (that is active), it doesn't have to be much if you're not an active person, but there are some great health benefits.

My Weekly Schedule is quite severe (for an inactive person), but goes like this: Monday, Morning Running Training, Tuesday Afternoon Running training, Wednesday Evening Orienteering (Running with a map, up to 9.6km which I did yesterday) and afternoon surf, Thursday 15km ride to work, Friday nothing, rest day, might ride at track I made if bored. Saturday, Cricket game, but used to be Orienteering or Long Trail Run in the Winter Season (I'm from Australia). Sunday, Orienteering or Long Trail Run. That is for a sub-elite athlete (me, but I'll probably be at elite level in 2 or 3 years).

Part 3: Bad Habits
Now onto bad habits. Illicit Drug-taking and excessive use of legal drugs (such as alcohol and tobacco)(like drugs that you don't need to live) is really bad for your mental, financial, social and physical health. It can ruin your social status, take years off your life and make you feel worse about yourself and your also paying money for things you really don't need. My grandma (I refer to her as granny), took flowers and smokes (I'm not sure if she still is a flowers user) and she is super-paranoid and she doesn't (physically) look in great health. She has a number of mental health problems and her skin is completely pale, I've seen numerous friends wreck their lives with substance abuse (that's probably a better word than what I used originally) and I've just wanted to stop being around them. I've never taking drugs I don't need myself, because I'm highly against them. Other bad habits include eating to little because you're worried about you're body image. My advice is you should be happy for who you are and if you believe you are overweight, don't eat less, just eat better and exercise more.

Part 4: Yourself
My best advice for you is to try be the best version of yourself, be someone you want to be, not who someone else wants you to be. Try not to break your morals, no matter the temptation. Don't be someone you are not and don't change yourself to fit into the "cool" crowd, find where the crowd is you. There is nothing else I need to say here.

Part 5: Bullying
This probably very relevant to most people on these forums, because most kids get bullied or are the bullies, I was bullied when I was nine and it didn't feel nice, but my advice is that whatever a bully says to you is normally to get a reaction from you and sometimes pointing out their mean behaviour makes them defensive and gives you the upper hand, replying with comments such "Gee, what happened this morning, you don't seem to have a nice attitude" can redirect towards and is a good strategy to deflect them, but DON'T start bullying them for whatever reason. Cyber-Bullying is also a problem, but I don't take much offense to them, because I know that most of the time, they wouldn't say it to your face, but it's good to point out someones wrongdoing and might make them a better person. As for the bully though, if you are physically bullying some much weaker than you, then YOU are the weak one, go for someone your own size, what happened to you to make you take out your anger on someone else, huh.

Part 6: Relationships
Now, I am definitely not the best person to talk to about this, but my advice is that if you like someone just tell them in a place or time that suits you, do it by text, card or tell them in person it's up to you, but I like to do it in person. Also it's best not to go out of your way for the best you like, because there are sadly some people who will manipulate you and use this to their advantage and makes a depressing relationship, but I will once again state they I am not the best to talk to about this, but this is my best advice.

Part 7: Finances
This can be a hard one but with money I say earn money, as long as the job you're earning it from a job that doesn't destroy your mental health and keeps you somewhat happy. Don't try be the guy who earns the most money in a job they don't like, earn enough to sustain yourself and/or people you looking after.

Part 8: School
I did school in Australia, so the system is slightly different to some other countries (i.e USA). DON'T and I repeat DON'T sweat (as in stress) the small stuff, don't stress your work until like your last 2 or 2.5 years, but make sure you are still learning. If you are ever stuck on something, just ask the teachers for help, they are there for a reason, just don't do anything really stupid at school, that could affect your future job placements, because it will hurt in the long run. Don't try make friends with people, just because they are cool, but because you enjoy their company and like who they are. If you are still in Primary School (AUS system), then I suggest you enjoy it while it lasts.

I honestly can't think of any other parts to add if you have any suggestions, I'll add them, before I write another long speech on myself (bet you guys are all hyped!). godbless.

E: I'd like to say that I have first hand witnessed people with mental issues and commit suicide (not watched them do that) and it's just sad, try to help suicidal/depressed people as much as you can, it's not a nice feeling knowing you could've saved someone. I am a really strong ambassador of helping people with mental health issues and I try my best, now you try yours

also mad respect for anyone who read the whole thing.

 

Covid has just made people live the way I have been. Total shutoff from everyone and I don't regret it.

But depression is real, I've been through it. It's hard to get out and even with help it seems helpless. I'm always here to talk to

 

i have to agree with CHARREDLIZARD21
i usually have a schedule of biking and running ~10-12 miles perday. Its one of the only hobbies i enjoy and it helps me keep disctracted. I also am on the cross-country and foot ball team for my hs

 

CHARREDLIZARD21
great post! great advice for anyone at any phase of their life. mixing it with some personal experience gave it the sweetness it needed. huge props for your post.
also a nice idea if everyone wrote a long speech of their life so far. and told us what they learned so far or maybe just share your story with the people here. will probably write mine when i have the time too.

 

I mean not much happened in mine.

 

I haven't been posting tracks lately bc my best friends uncle had to get surgery bc he had a hole behind his eye and my friend is home all alone and just yesterday when i was talking to him on the phone his stepmom came in his room cursing at him for no reason and then he never talked to me since.

 

This will haunt me for the rest of my life

Chapter 1
When I was 2 years old I live in a crackhouse my mom would do lots of drugs and smoke and drink. We were poor and we had one room that had a bathroom, kitchen, bedroom, and other crappy stuff. We had to sleep in the same bed I also had a sister Jessica. My mom also had a bf he was a nice guy he got my sister a toy jeep to ride on, but I got a big @ss bike that I could barely sit on. My sister had it all good but I had it worst. My mom didn't have a car or money so I walk to this house where they gave us food to eat. They lived right down the street from us. My mom was friends with her and she didn't like seeing us not getting fed. Then after a couple of days my mom got a cat but she didn't have any money how did she get the cat, she never said. Well one day my sister was riding in her toy jeep and I was trying to ride the bike and then we heard something in the sky. I went over to see what was happening and a eagle picked up the cat and took it from the yard. My sister was so sad she was asking will the cat come back but my mom didn't say anything like she always does. The cat never came back and my sister was heart broken.

Chapter 2
I went to lots of houses when I was little and this one guy hated me so much. So I was going to get a bath and he walk inside to wash his hands. It was easter today and I ask can I have my basket. He said no and I ask why. He didn't say anything then I started to cry and then I turn around to get in the tub and he turn me around and pop me right in the face. I fell into the bath tub. It felt like I was hit by a car. I hit the tub and my nose was bleeding all over the place. My nose was broken and he was just standing there doing nothing but staring at me bleeding. My mom wasn't there to do anything even if she was she would not do anything to help. My sister was outside I think and then she heard me crying and she ran inside to see if I was ok. Well the guy who did it got arrested and sent to prison.
Chapter 3
Well after the guy who punched me in the nose went to prison I went to other houses with other people. I was at this house right down the street from that guys house and I was at my mom's mother's house. I thought she was all nice and stuff but she turned out to be a drug user. I sat on her bed and ate grapes and watch tv and I would hear her yelling at her husband. Then there was lots of banging and I could not take it. I went to see what was going on but then I turned back for some reason. Then she will come sit with me on the bed and tell me she loves me. I didn't know what to say so I just said nothing. This lady look like she was dead her face was pale her hair was black and messy. Everyday she smoke in the house and next to me when I was on the bed. After that I went to a different house.
Chapter 4
I went to this program that help me with my issues and my moms too.
They would have different groups for us and we would talk about the stuff that happen in the past. I still got to that program sometimes. I was with my mom and we were going to go eat dinner at the program and there was some random kid going crazy in the lunch room. This is what scared me so much. The kid was cursing and and punching tables and walls, also people. Then he went near the door I was at and called a B!TCH!!! I was like 3 years old so I was scared. Then the kid go tackled to the ground. After five mins the cops came and arrested the kid. Then after that I went in the lunch room to eat dinner.
Chapter 5
I was going to a group where people go when they have issues with their parents. I sat down with this lady with orange hair and she look like she was a boss or something. I still talk to this lady today and she helps me sometimes. Well when I heard that my sister and I where going to a new house to live. I still live there right now and I love it. Before we went there we had a party at the program and we had fun. I was 3 years old so I didn't know what was happening but I do now. I remember saying bye to my mom in the parking lot. I was crying my eyes out and I couldn't stop. I went into a car and my sister and I were going to the new house. Well I was stupid because I open the door while the car was moving and jumped out of the car and fell down a hill. The car quickly stopped and the lady ran right out of the car and went to go get me. After that was done we went to get something to eat and then we headed to the house.

 

RAPPERJACK
your friend is surely going through some tough times right now. the best thing to do here in my opinion is to remind your friend that parents also sometimes have a breaking point and they also have limits.
they could get angry and get all the anger out on their child. its quite normal. the key to go through this phase is to be patient and stay strong. also, try to talk to him as much as you can. friends are there for a reason, they help us when we're feeling down and cheer us up through the bad times in life. stay there for your friend and keep reminding him that it will all be ok. or if he just didnt want to talk at all maybe just sit with him gazing at nothing. they might not share their pain but you can share the moment with him. be there whether he wanted to talk or not. eventually, everything will go back to normal.

 

Thx man and I will

 

my life story
I used to live with my mom and grandma in Kelowna but then my mom started doing crimes and drugs(think she was a prostitute) which ended up with her in and out of prison for 20 years now(she is currently in prison for robbery, breaking and entry and assault) so me and my brother lived with our grandma who couldnt take care of us properly so we had to go to foster care. Originally we were suppose to stay in foster care for 3 weeks but it ended up being 3 years. After the 3 years me and my brother got adopted by a gay couple who had adopted or actual sister(which we had no idea our mom had) and move 4 hours away to chilliwack. We lived in piece for around three years before I started messing up in life failing classes and drugs(OOF) which really messed up my live . I have been trying to take care of my mental health by ending drugs and counselling.*edit* i fixed my life i’m an A honours student now

 

I also attempted to steal something but got caught and did community work

 

I am a good kid now

 

Just wanted to tell you guys that no matter how low you are in life their is always a way up

 

Apocolypse
that's truly a precious life lesson for everyone to learn from. the events that you have gone through are indeed unfortunate. and im truly sorry that you had to go through them.
no matter how much life complicates itself you can always get back up because everyone's lives are about themselves. you are all you need to get back up on your feet and be a better person.
i have also attempted to steal a few things here and there (nothing too much tho) and i was caught and grounded for it. all because i wasn't receiving the love i wanted and needed.
loving yourself is always the first step of going to the place you want and call home emotionally. and as i always say, no matter how bad your life is and no matter what you're going through, help someone.
as humans, we cant not feel happy when we help someone. so go outside and feed someone. comfort someone or in this pandemic and quarantine times, help someone online. many people are depressed online and anyone can easily help a suicidal person. Apocolu\ypse found the strength to go out of his sadness but some people don't have that strength and need help. in the end im really happy for you man! its a story worth sharing in my opinion.

 

Thanks that helps a lot

 

And means alot

 

This is a serious thread so pls no spam

 

a little bit about my life:
so i grew up and raised in (somewhere in the middle east) so like most parents there my parents wanted me to become a doctor, engineer or a lawyer. and i met their standards ever since i started school and i was almost the best in my school every year. then i hit my teenage years and because we were moving alot i couldn’t stay with a group of people/friends for a long time so i decided to stop trying and be my own friend. during these few years at the age of 14/15/16 i learned the beauty of music. listening to music and studying became the only things i care about. and for a few years, watching movies as well (thats where i got my english from). so spending some years only with myself and my music really made me master the art of hiding your true self and keeping your emotions to yourself. and as we all know from time to time, we need a shoulder to cry on. now i did have a few relatives i liked and talked to from time to time but there was no one i could trust all the way. and if i talked to my family they would just make a big deal out of it and lecture me about how i should man up and stuff. and then in the last few years of school my emotional state kept going down and down and eventually sometimes i just felt lost and too lonely. even though i love spending time with myself but i just wanted a living person to listen to me from time to time. and my grades went down in school as well. thats when my parents disappointments in me really showed. even though sometimes they told me i was a good kid, no one really cared how i felt or how i was doing. i know they loved me but they didn’t allow me or make a situation where i can express my anxiety and sadness to them without them overreacting.
this is all i’ll say for now and i guess what i want to tell you guys is that you should always have something you can spend your time with for a long time(in my case music). because good friends are really hard to find and if you found a good one please dont let them go. and when you become a parent make sure you take care of your child both emotionally and physically.
thanks for reading : )

 

[redacted cuz cringe LOL]