Pour Your Heart Out

I just wanted to say a little something, i know it may not be helpful, because i've been through mostly of what you guys have been through, and i know that the things I'm about to say may not sound comforting or may not be the ones you want to hear rn, but it's the harsh reality.

2020 was probably, if not 2023, my worst year regarding mental health, and some people in here can confirm that. In 2020 i was at the edge of trowing it all multiple times, but i never really did, i never put myself through it. During that year i felt like i was alone in the world, it felt like no one was there for me, i had anxiety attacks, sleep paralysis, and all those things we all know that come with depression and anxiety. But, there was a little partof my heart that still had a little hope, that things would get better soon, and that tiny amount of hope was what got me trough it, because, with time (and a little bit of your effort) things will get better!, you guys have to trust me on this, please.

In 2020 I used to write a lot in this forum, either talking about myself or trying to help others, and there was a guy, who (sadly) doesn't play anymore who helped me through most of it, he was MadMaxx21. This is also to remind y'all that the people in this game are also real people, who also have mental problems, and also go through most of whatever you guys are going through, so please value the things that are being said in this forum and, of course, always treat others with respect and only give useful advice.

So 2020 post-covid, i was mentally drained and destroyed, but it was my last year in highschool, so I had to make it count, my grades weren't the best, probably, but i made some friends who have stuck with me until now, and i'm in uni now. Those friends, some, don't even go to college, some are in the military, but we stick trough everything, and i know that they are always there for me and i can count on them for anything i need, and viceversa. This is to remind you that you need to make friends! The human being is a social being, it always have been, you cannot pretend to better yourself, if you don't have someone by your side, it's going to be very difficult to escalate the steep mountain of life by yourself. You have to make friends, either in school, outside of school, in church, wherever it is, I don't care, but make friends. Also you have to learn to distinguish between the good friends and bad friends. The good friends are the ones that you can count on for anything you want, the ones that push you away from your limits, and the ones that want you to grow as a better person. The bad friends are the opposite, they may say that you can count on them, but they always turn your problems into little things (when they are not) or they turn it their way, they are the ones that do not want you to grow, either physically, mentally or academically. This is not easy to tell apart, but as life goes on you will be able to tell them apart.

So between summer 2020 until summer 2021, that's how i coped with my depression, because it hadn't gone yet, depression wont vanish from one day to another, lets be real. I coped with it by going out with my friends and making healthy plans with them. But i never spoke to someone about it, nobody knew. And this is to tell you that you have to speak about it, people are not mages nor clairvoyants, they aren't going to know what you're going through just by looking at your eyes, you have to speak. It's okay if you don't want to speak about it with your parents, i still haven't told them yet, and I think i never will, but you need to get someone to speak about it, it may be a friends, your coach, or even a specialist (its okay to go to therapy, you aren't crazy, you just need help!), whoever you have enough confidence with. Because if you are drowning and you don't scream for help, how are the people supposed to know that they have to help you get out of the water? Talk about it, its okay, everyone has problems, and I'm sure that people will care about them.

Summer 2021. Here's the girlfriend part you all knew was coming. So i asked her out, and she said yes, and those were, probably, (almost) 2 of the best years of my life. I had someone i could trust on blindly, i felt loved, respected and taken care of. I finally had someone who i could tell about all my struggles, and she understood them, and i also did the same for her. It was beautiful, because it was true love. She helped me overcome most of my depression, and i finally experienced inner peace for the first time in more than 2 years. This part here is to remind y'all about two things. One, that there's someone out there for you, wainting for you, for you precisely, i don't wanna bring religion into this but, God has one person prepared for you, and you just gotta trust on Him for that. Two, a girlfriend is not the solution to everything, in fact, it will probably bring you even more problems. Love is not something you decide when it comes in your life, it just appears and you must let yourself be surrounded by it, be softly embraced by the sweet perfume of love, and you cannot do that by turning your heart out to the world, just because you have suffered, it doesn't mean that everything in this world is against you, in fact there are more things in your favor than there are against you. Me, for example, I'm single now, and I don't want a girlfriend rn, but i'm still open to the possibility of it, if the right person comes. I'm not searching for love, but if it finds me, i'm gonna say yes to it.

Big jump, February 2023. This past 1 year and 8 months ive been in a relathionship, until, after some previous roughness, we decided to break up. We were too young, which is something your really have to take into account when going out with someone, we would've had to maintain a relationship for years and years, and that's really really difficult. So as soon as she broke up with me, i absolutely crumbled down. My mental health went back to a state that it hadn't been since 2020, but this time, i had my friends to help me, and that made a really big difference. That same year i had to finish my bachelor's, and i had to take my college entry exam, so that also really helped to distract myself. This time, i could overcome it in about 6 months, and i was clear once again, finally at peace again. Yes, sometimes i do yearn for it, because it was some of the best moments in my life, but we cannot stop there, we have to keep going, life doesn't end there, there's so much more out there to live for, so much more out there to discover, and we have to go for it! I want to make one thing clear, friendship after a relathionship is possible, me and my ex-girlfriend have a great relationship, and talk every other day, but that's because we both wanted it that way, and we were mature enough to not let a break up ruin the great friendship we had!

And as of today, im just living searching for my inner peace, doing whatever makes me feel good. You are the one in charge of your life, not whatever poeple say about you, ar whatever they make you feel. And as i said before, with time (and a little bit of your effort) things will get better!

As always, take care of yourself, remember to drink water, go outside, get some sunlight and exercise a little!

(I'm available for anything you need, just write me a direct message or you can write me in discord (sergioldtg#6202) )

 

i feel like this in 2024 rn with school and all that shi

 

this is kinda off topic, but i have had one of the best and worst years in my school experience. i'm in ninth grade and highschool is great and all but my friends vape, drink and smoke wee.d often in school. it is literally everybody i am close too and i am the only one who doesn't do any of that. every day they try to get me to do it. other than their bad habits, they are great, funny people but i just cant deal with them every day. im also in a relitively small school where my friends are about a third of the 9th grade boys. ive been friends with most of them since kindergarten and its just hard to deal with their stuff every day.

 

yo what's up if you wanna update this id love to hear. I've talked about this a lot recently with my friends, and it's pretty complicated.

 

I've just been trying to talk more and bring my confidence up, because I think like if you do something big then the little things wont matter. idk, its kinda working because I dont get as red faced as before but ig it just takes time.

 

You don’t need a relationship rn. There’s so much more to life, I promise. It’s hard because most people that have been through it will tell you that, but everyone that hasn’t just wants to know what it’s like. It will almost fs end with bad feelings and it sucks so much more than you realize.

 

bet

 

I finally got a gf and had sex lol

 

How old r u

 

yeah ofc "Elibloodthirst likes this"

 

Dudes a notorious virgin is all

 

real

 

Too old for this ****

*was

 

blud's probably sixteen

 

Oh how much you've grown <3

 

Nah guaranteed he's like 25

 

Please come to my house to play freerider with me I promise I won't sex you I promise
Probably

 

AYO

 

AYO

 

hey bro how you been