hey gang, it's me, your humble leader of the squishiest team. thank you for your interest in the most versatile powerup, and with it, what i believe to be the most versatile team. now, i'd like to get something out of the way immediately: compared to the rest of the team leaders, i might be a bit... lacking. the team blob banner makes my second, compared to three for teams heli and balloon, and an impressive six for the team truck leader (although i think he gave himself most of those, which kinda diminishes their glory). i'm not even the best guy for the job; that honor, again, goes to truck team's head, which is connected, without a neck, to a massive blob of lard befitting the fourth most prestigious current frhd administrator. ok, but all jokes aside, the simple fact of the matter is this: i just... don't have as impressive of a slate of achievements as any of the other leaders. but honestly? i don't really mind. without the weight of those achievements, and the expectations that follow, i'm free to do whatever i want, be whoever i want to be. now is the part where i tie it all back together and end with a nice message. imagine a wall, 100,000 units tall, and offset by a single pixel at the very top. right away, it's already completely hopeless for the truck and balloon without resorting to tricks, and even the helicopter is unlikely to summit within anyone's lifetime, and yet for the blob, this is just your average tuesday. and we look pretty cool doing it, too. imagine a narrow tube, or just a simple little jump (yep, we're the only ones that can do that) - fact of the matter is that we can go the fastest and in the most extreme environments, even if we may just be a little squishy guy. i'm in this contest to win this (you will get details on everything later! there are things it isn't my place to tell you), but more than that, i'm in this to have fun. boring heli maps are everywhere, and i don't think i've ever played a fun truck or balloon map (see poe's law for ballooning is fun), but blob? now that's where it's at. anyways it's 4 am and i've lost the plot and i also meant to write this yesterday so uhh yeah join team blob (name pending) please (also dm or pm me if you have name suggestions or put them below or whatever)
Alright blobbington team, let's do this thing! I gotta actually cook up this world of goo track now I have motivation
Hello, I have joined Team Blob. With my many years of experience with my brother Blob I have declared myself the First Mate, aka the second in command, to our Captain of Team Blob Pie42. That means I am also taking responsibility of Team Blob's success. And I will make sure that with our star-studded roster, that we will take down our opponents of Team Truck, Team Helicopter, and Team Balloon. We will show no mercy, and our fierce competitiveness against our opponents will be revered for years to come.
