Coager Chronicles Issue 8

Welcome, Everyone, to the eighth instalment of the Coager Chronicles! The Coager Chronicles is an independent news source brought to you by yours truly.
This is where I bring to you the best updates for the most topical events of the FRHD forums.
And on today's chronicle I'm here to theorize the REAL reason Zpresley never showed up to this years Free Rider World Cup.

I've made a chronicle about Zpresley before but for those who don't know, Zpresley is the original antagonist to the finnish FRWC win streak. Being able to perfectly manipulate his placement using his godly prediction and ghosting skills, he's able to perfectly fly under the radar and strike when necessary and even beat Anonyymi without the need to cowardly abuse timezones.

You might be curious as to why Zpresley didn't participate in this year's FRWC. Me too. I've taken the time to undergo some professional detective work, hence why this issue took a month to write. And in this time I've found out many things regarding the disappearance of Z "God Rider" Presley. Firstly, much evidence points the theory that Zpresley did NOT disappear, but instead ran into hiding. "Why?" you may ask. Well it's simple. no matter how much of a God you are at riding a bike in a children's web game, you are still susceptible to assassination. That's right, someone from a FRWC4 could have possibly sent an assassination squad after Zpresely in order to prevent him from competing. This is a possibility due to the amount of bullets i found at an undisclosed location that I tracked the trace of Zpresley to. Though this is not the most likely answer it's still possible for it to have happened, and if it has happened I wish Zpresley the best of luck surviving in hiding from the assassin squad.


editor's note: real image of the assassin squad.

Before I begin the next theory about Zpresley's absence it would be probably be good to know of the potential villains who could potentially coordinate an assassin squad. Most people may assume Anonyymi sent them. I don't think he would, as he owes Zpresley for allowing him to win in the end. If I had to assume anyone it would be Totoca12 who sent them. Well you see, if Zpresley were to compete he would obviously win. This would ruin the underground FRHD gambling ring he set up since everyone would just bet on Zpresley. So Totoca planned to take him out so he couldn't get in the way of him and a sh.it ton of money.



The second theory involving the disappearance of Zpresley involves him ascending to God-hood. His skills were so godly that the angels from the heavens above noticed and took him in. On my search for information I discovered some sort of prophecy that predicts that an angel warrior will ride down from heaven and judge the mortals of Earth on his sick mountain bike, using his God abilities to make it rain fire as he goes. Now I don't think it's too much of a stretch to assume that The angel mentioned in this prophecy is Zpresley from the future. It makes sense to for the God Rider of our generation to be trained by God himself in order to judge us.

The third and final theory is admittedly not the most likely but is still theoretically possible. Hear me out, assume he played the game at the highest possible level for years as he did. And over time winning became tiresome. he had no challengers, no one to face him, no one that could even come close to defeating him. So he left for he was too good at the game. He left in search for a new game to take over with his overwhelming skills.

And thus, the legendary tale of Z "God Rider" Presley has come to a close. from being discovered as the best to slowly disappearing from the game over time.
He will be forever remembered as the greatest ghoster to live or ever will live.

This concludes the eighth issue of the Coager Chronicles. Now since this is an independent project, I will be taking requests for future news stories that you, the viewer, would like to see covered. only good stories of course.
Keep in mind that these Chronicles are entirely factual.
And be sure to leave a comment about how you will honor Zpresley's legacy.​

 

Wait, it's already 8???

 

RIP ZPreseley gone but never ever forgotten

 

Z(god rider)presely will always be remembered as our true savior all hail Z(god rider)presely!

 

Damn it all makes sense now. I thought that the coager Chronicles is unreliable as it listed a Canadian going to Starbucks but this is as accurate as a calculator. Thank you. I will continue to read these life-changing stories

 

Maybe Coager is trying to mask a scheme by pinning it on someone who knows a lot about something. Maybe they might be pining it on the very host of the competition, YOU

 

Coager might be hiding something, something that only TOTCAT12 knows. I think Coager is secretly teaming up with Eryp to destroy Free Rider

 

Another reason to hate Eryp.

 

Yes

 

Eryp :l

 

:O

 

Okay what the frick is all of this??????? I have never seen this and I is confused.

 

Coated_Badger can we get a chronicle on the new RANKED GHOSTING (shameless plug for you) and what the community should expect will happen in the weeks to come as the RANKED GHOSTING gets underway and gains attention and fame. I would really be interested in how you think RANKED GHOSTING (wow I'm on a roll here) will go down.

 

XD

 

Seems interesting, a RANKED GHOSTING chronicle would definitely be something to look forward to. Attention and fame for RANKED GHOSTING for sure. Good idea Mr. MyKidding.