No, this isn't for clout or nth, yes I know ive said this before, but now I am being for real. I think i've done enough with this community, and I've done my fair share of track making. But it's time for me to step away and focus on life. I dont entirely know what to say but I'm going to sum up a bunch of things that have been going on with me throughout my life which is stressing me out to the point I need a break from everything. Not just freerider. I don't know what to say so I am going to say anything that comes to mind. I'm currently 15, and I honestly have not been in a worse spot in my life at any point in time. I have been smoking a whole lot due to mental problems, and genuinely don't even know whats wrong. I don't have a bad life, I honestly should be happy. I have sorta been like this since I was about 7 years old, when my brother passed. I didn't really have nobody there for me after that so I have been on my own since. The closest friends I have had in life are in this game, which is honestly surprising to me, because this community has had some really hateful people. I have contemplated suicide many times, and the people on this game are the reason I am still here. Especially Ponjoja. But other then this, I am also failing my school, I have been losing friends, and I've been avoiding family. Recently the only way I can be happy is when i'm numb, which is when I am high. I have been high almost every day of my life since I was 11 years old, simply because I cant find a way to talk about my feelings or problems when it is really needed. This has had a huge negative impact on my life and I honestly have been a terrible person since. there's honestly not much I can think of, as my mind is honestly just going blank, and I am high as of this being created. I don't know what to do with my life anymore, and i just want to be happy. No I wont be gone from the community forever (I think) , no i'm not committing, or none of that. But I love you all, and I want to say a quick goodbye to some of my friends, and make sure they see this, because I may not message in a convo for a while. I will release my Instagram username or atleast the link in this forum sometime this week, for those who want to keep in contact with me. Once again, I love you all. Thank you all for the memories you have given me. Bye for now. please don't reply to this thread if you are going to make dumb comments. or just don't reply at all idrc.
I hope things get better man and if you ever need someone to talk im always open (I'm planning on going into psychiatry when im 18) everyone has theyre hard moments in life and you dont have to face it alone If your ever feeling down again just remember we are all here for YOU!
we gonna miss you, bro. Thanks for the great tracks, and looking forward to your return. Best of luck. -Fin and the FRHD community
I'm sorry to hear about what you've been going through. I couldn't imagine what life would be like if I lost my sibling. In the meantime, I would recommend asking your parents to help you get some professional help, if you aren't already getting it. As supporting as friends can be, they won't always be able to talk, and they aren't medical professionals that are trained to specifically help you through these things. School counselors can also be a good option, if they are available and you trust them. Getting a part-time job might be good as well, as it gives you something to work towards, if the work environment isn't poor. I do hope things get sorted out for you. We'll be here waiting if you come back.
I did have a therapist for a while but it doesn't really help because I have this thing called "alexithymia". I can't talk about my problems at any point in time. That's why I didn't know what to say on here. But, in about 2 weeks I will be gone for a while, not just because of summer break but I will be gone for a while after that aswell, depending on my mental health at the time. Thanks alot though, man. I appreciate it.
I'm glad I could be here for you. When (or if) you leave, I'll miss you loads. Good luck in whatever you do
