Pour Your Heart Out

Madara Good on you for making this thread. I used to have no one to talk to as well and I think it's definitely something we all need.

 

I'm pretty sure you mean half sister, not step sister. A step sister/brother is totally unrelated to you but a half sister/brother shares a mother/father with you.

 

I think I can make a juicy contribution to this thread haha

possible trigger warning for a lot of stuff related to bad mental health, worst stuff related is highlighted in ugly yellow so avoid those lines if that sorta stuff gets to you

mental health has been a big struggle for me for some odd years now. like 4-5 yrs maybe? it's been primarily depression with some anxiety thrown in and VERY rarely i've had bouts of paranoia and fear, some of this stemmed from trauma. professionally diagnosed with major depression and generalized anxiety disorder to be more specific. it's gotten really bad at times. i've called the hotline before on one of my worst nights. i've tried a LOT of different kinds of treatment, the most major of which being what my ~45 day break some months ago entailed. I was at a RTC (residential treatment center) which is basically a low tier psych ward where you're supervised 24/7. at the teen level it's as close as you can get to being in a hospital without actually being in one lmao. i've seen it all at this point, both in terms of treatment and stuff that makes it worse. really bad stuff in my personal life for ages like divorce, abuse, alcoholism, self-harm, friends and partners attempting, the whole nine yards. it's felt like an uphill battle for so long, especially recently with everything going on in the world.

don't have much to share without going into lots of personal detail but this has been a constant in my life essentially since I joined this community and it's a good topic to talk about especially when i'm seeing so many other young voices speaking about it. if anyone has any questions about my experience or wants to talk in more detail lmk

i will add as well that i'm fine rn so please no one worry about me lol

 

i've been in a similar situation bro.
it's good for one that you still want to be happy, a lot of people struggle with that so that already shows that you're a tough dude.
can also tell you rn it ain't your fault! there's a lot going on for a lot of people and it can be hard to keep everything in order. a lot of people are in your position.

my little nugget of wisdom would be to try and take the small victories when you can. it's easy to miss out on them when they aren't as powerful as the losses but the better you get at recognizing them then the more often they seem to come.

I won't recommend too much without more context but if you really are struggling, consider some talk therapy. can work miracles for many, me included. I guarantee they can help you more than I can at least lol

 

I feel mentally drained, yeah

 

I been depressed lately if anyone cares which nobody does......

 

What's got you feeling depressed?

 

Dm and I will tell u

 

Well I got some sad news.
Not that anybody cares but my last grandpa recently died.
He had a heart attack at his house last week and his wife called 911.
They brought him back but when he woke up from some medicine that he was given at the hospital he has another heart attack.
He survived that heart attack.
But then he had to get a permanent pacemaker.
But do to covid he couldn't get the surgery.
So he was on a whole bunch of machines.
He finally breath on his own but he said he doesn't want to go back to the hospital.
So the next day at nighttime he died in his sleep.
The sad part is that since covid hit I couldnt go to Florida and see him so the last time I saw him was in 2019.
I never got to say goodbye
He also was the only grandpa that I had left now that he is gone I don't really feel like doing anything.

I thank Madara for making this thread so people could share stuff like this.
It's hard to tell people this stuff but I have a good feeling about saying this stuff on this thread.

- FIREBEATS

 

yo, i know that people joke about you sometimes and you might feel like nobody cares about what you have to say but i'd just like you to know that i do care and i empathize with you. i understand the emotions you might be feeling right now in regards to the loss of your grandpa and would like to give you my personal condolences. it is an unfortunate turn of events, with you not being able to see him for the past 2 years due to covid but i bet he was proud of you and loved you like you loved him. if you have anything else on your mind, please feel free to share and/or dm me. i'd be happy to listen.

 

Awww thank you really thank you.
I will dm you if something else happens.
I thought I was going to get hate because when I did my life story someone

Spoiler: named

Rayb25

was mean to me.

 

sounds good bro, i'll do my best to help out if you choose to dm me.

 

I've experienced the loss of a family member and the pain it leaves behind is excruciating. I can't imagine the kind of toll that is bearing on you and I'm not going to try to, but I do know a little of the effect it has on people and I hope only for the best for you. Your grandpa didn't leave this earth willingly, he fought hard through two different heart attacks atop everything else he's been trough until he couldn't any longer. You should do the same. His path ending doesn't have to stop yours and it shouldn't. I know there is a lot more in store for you, You just have to hold out until then. I'm so sorry to hear you never got to say goodbye, and I wish I could help that hurt but I know I can't, all I can do is write my condolences and pray. Stay strong dude.

 

Mate if someone had the audacity to harass you about that then they got another thing coming.

 

FIREBEATS
I know I'm late but let me say something. I've lost my father on new years eve and it hurt a lot. The grief was long, heavy, a burden I couldn't get rid.

I'm not saying you shouldn't grieve but what you're feeling after your grandfather's passing is normal. Everyone grieves differently. Either it's from rolling on the ground bawling their eyes out, destroying stuff or being silent. It's good to acknowledge what you're feeling and why you're feeling it. For some people, the harder it is for them to get over a passing shows how much they really loved the person.

One key thing before a loss is closure. Not having closure with the person going to pass or sick, makes you feel you hadn't had time to settling things once and for all. That can lead to cluelessness, denial, hate and depression (if you got no one there for you). Whether that be forgiveness, settle down or a simple bonding time. Whatever you didn't get to settle between you and your grandfather, write it down in a journal; or talk to your parents about it. Get it out of your system. You'll feel better. Bottling emotions isn't the way to go. The longer you keep it in, the more it wants to be let loose. If you had close ties with your grandfather, let me just say, it's going to be a wacky journey before you see the sun. It may be short, it may be long. You just gotta keep moving forward.

Grief itself isn't always a straight path. Grief is a journey which cannot be short travelled. You just gotta ride the storm with the ones who are grieving as well. With the help and encouragement for loved ones from family and fields. Hey, it's been 8 months and I still have episodes. It still hurts to think about it but you'll manage to find ways to cope with the loss.

End of story, you're not alone. EVERYONE losses a loved one at some point in their life. It may seem random for one to suddenly lose someone but for each loss, a lesson is learned. You may not know it now. But maybe, just maybe, you'll know why you went through what you're currently going through. Since I don't know if you'd care in any way but, ima quote something from the bible that really helped me. "...Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged..." Joshua 1:9. Be strong Firebeats. In times of sorrow, keep your head up high for the memories you had with your grandfather. No one can take that away from you.

e: I realised my English is absolutely horrible. Might fix it later.

 

Why are you guys being nice to me I don't deserve this. Half of the people on here hate me but you guys are nice and I thank you for that.

 

Thank you ur the best.
Also I do care about the Bible part

 

For those who are able to pour out themselves among men is indeed worthy of such people who wants to help those who are struggling.
Same thing goes for you ShamatoZ . You yourself may think you're not worthy for us but you are. You just haven't realised it yet.

 

Sorry I'm not trying to spam this thread but i made this for my grandpa and abt my grandpa.
Please don't judge I suck at this stuff

I got a message from my parents and I couldn't believe it
My life then feel apart
I couldn't think right
My mom and dad told me to come here
They said Jack it's about grandpa

Last night grandpa died in his sleep
I was shocked
I started feelin dizzy

That hit me so hard now I have scars

I never got to say goodbye
I hope meet up with him when it's my time

I never got to see him since 2019
Then covid hit and everything went

I miss him
My misson is to grow strong
Nobody can stop me I'm on the top

Everytime I fall I get up
My grandpa would have a smile on his face
When he saw me making it through the human race

Nobody can tell me otherwise my grandpa was a good guy

He alway made someone smile
Why did he have to go
I think and say to myself everyone has a time
You just have to wait
Now he's up in heaven
He done his job on being the best grandpa

I will stop thinking about him
He's probably watching me right now

I love you grandpa

Read the bottom if you want too.
V
Again sorry for spamming this thread about the same thing.
This is dedicated to my grandpa who recently pass away in his sleep.
He was a good man who didn't deserve to die but it was his time.
If you would like to know more about what happen just start a conversation with me.
Thanks for reading.

-FIREBEATS

 

listen im in a sticky situation and idk what to do. so there is this girl that i like but i cant barely seem to open my mouth to her and i havnt even had the guts to ask for any of her social. but on the other hand there is my friend and she likes me and we have been talking for about 3 weeks and she is cute but idk what to do.