Pour Your Heart Out

hey, my friend seems really depressed, and idk what to do to help. Although I try not to I can often come off as distant, at least in person. I was at their house the other day and it even said they were looking for online therapy with strangers (in their recent searches bar)! This made me really sad because I don't want them to feel like their only source of trust is from random people on the internet(*cough). I'm pretty far away from them right now but I just want them to know they can trust me without it being weird. Any advice?

 

i feel depressed myself...

 

have you been diagnosed?

 

nope

 

Ik it sounds cliche, but straight up tell them that you're always gonna be there for them. I don't want to put words in your mouth but say something along the lines of that you're always going to be there for them, and that even though you appear to be distant, you are indeed focused on them and their problems. It's all about reassurance and letting them know that you are going to be there for them. To that, you can't force it. Whether they choose to talk to strangers or to you is up the them, but you can't force yourself onto them. I always say, when it comes to trust, always play the long game. It's so much better to ease into it and let them feel like they're the one's talking to you for there sake, instead of pressuring them into talking to you, which makes them feel like they're talking to you for your sake. It makes it more fluid and not rushed.

 

Even though you just spelled it out for me I keep overthinking it

 

Really there is nothing to over think. You aren't losing your friend, all you're doing is telling them how you feel. If you'd like some help I'd gladly help you write up a text message but all you're doing is saying that you are going to stand by them as a shoulder to cry on. (that's a little dramatic but you understand what I'm saying)

 

this is a pour your heart out thread and all i said is that im a simp not a pimp i think me saying that has no effect on this thread, i have broken no rules or anything.

 

Yes it broke no rules. Yes you did nothing wrong. But this is a thread where people can come and feel safe to talk about struggles and hardships that they are having in their personal life. Having a reply to the thread saying "I'm a simp not a pimp" not only discourages people to come but also clogs the thread. All I'm asking is that you say those kinds of stuff somewhere else because there is so many other places to say it.

 

So I know this is my second time talking, but yesterday I finished collage, which is an achievment. but I'm now bored, I own my own apartment, (Having trouble paying bills) and working a minimum-wage job. Any adults that have tips for me?

 

even though i am a young teen, as i am 14, i can give you help. i would suggest you try doing extra work hours to pay off your bills, or to try to get a higher paying job. Los Angelos has a wage of around 15$ for minimum wage, and that isnt enough, so i suggest a higher paying job if I were you.

 

me saying i am a simp has no reason to discourage people to come to this thread. and this is not an thread that you only talk about struggles, and yes if someone is having a problem or stuggle in their life they can come to this thread and people should make them feel comfortable and safe in this thread by helping them by talkinging to them. me saying i am a simp is making no one not feel safe, im not clogging the thread, and im making no reason for people to not want to come to this thread. im simply just expressing a feeling i currently have which is pouring my heart out. im simply in a relationship and im happy to be with this girl so i typed im a simp and if that effects you than oh well. i have done nothing wrong

 

It would definitely have helped us all if you elaborated on that comment in the first place. It looked like nothing but a joke comment without any context.

 

All I'm asking is that you please take that some where else or like what RubeGoldberger said, explain a little more because at face value without context, it sounds like a joke reply which WILL discourage people from coming to this thread as they won't want to open up if someone is going to make light of it and joke around. If you're in a happy healthy relationship with a girl that you like, that's good on you and great that you're happy in your relationship! I'm only affected by it as it effects others, I personally don't take offence to that and there aren't any rules against what you can and can't say in threads anyways, only requests by the person who created the thread. As in reply to what you said about making people feel unsafe, I never said it made people feel unsafe, only uneasy.

 

after living in crippling debt for 28 years, working a full-time job for wages that barely allow me to feed me and my 8 children, being homeless for close to half a decade, selling my family members so that i have more money to pay off my college debt, upon reading this forum post only did i realize that i could've just gotten a higher paying job instead. thank you for you advice, your beautiful wisdom has enlightened me for the rest of my life

 

Lmao

 

no problem

 

Only a few days of school left. what should i do with them?

 

Spend time with friends as much as you can, finish the year strong with your grades (if you haven't already pasted the final due date), and leave on a high with your teachers. (of course this is all in my opinion, spend it however you want)

Edit; Ah, well then yeah if you are in online school then finish the year off strong and don't slack off because it is the end of the year. The last thing you want is for all your work over the past 9 months to be burnt to the ground in the last couple weeks. ITAYGOUDZ

 

yes, but i cant spend time with friends because im still in online school