Sexuality / Gender / Crushes

sexy*

 

Is it because of his religion? Does he even have a religion?

 

Okay let me just say that this thread reclaimed my hope for this forum, excellently posted mister CityShep, really appreciate the work you've put on the text. And might I add I'm extremely pleased to see someone actually knowing how to use the semicolon (; ), I've seen so many people misusing is just because it has become a rising trend in the realm of internet, they don't really know what it even is for... (For example Elibloodthirst often uses the semicolon like this: "e; something" informing that the following section is an edit. Well I'll have you know that a simple colon works twice as well there since "Edit" is hardly even a sentence. No offense tho bruhder :])

Now secondly, there's one thing I've always thought very hard on, and that is whether you are born homosexual, or anyone can be sexually oriented towards the same sex and if it's just a matter of realizing/finding and accepting it that makes you actually consciously attracted to the same sex. Now I myself met a wonderful young woman at my new school last year, who claimed that she's a lesbian. She told me that she, at first, thought she was heterosexual, but when she found out that it's a possibility she might like women, she slowly started to accept the fact of homosexuality in her own mind. It was a school project in which the teacher supposedly wanted us just to form groups and simply talk about sexual stuff by the four of us, we very well succeeded in that. You see, we touched on many subjects like is love real, and how much of romantic relationships these days are formed off of sexual and carnal lust and how much of personal affection to each others' company, but when we touched on homosexual subjects, it got me thinking, a lot, and when I had thought about it enough, I actually proceeded to personally experimenting on the subject.

About 3/4 years later, just recently, I realized, and accepted, that I'm equally interested in men than I am in women.

Though this is evidence that you indeed can find a homosexual side in you, no matter how disgusting you've earlier thought it is, it still doesn't answer the question: can you be born as a homosexual? Homosexuality, to me, seems unnatural. And don't get me wrong, I'm not saying this in a negative matter, it is just it doesn't seem logical to me that you can have a natural affection to the same sex from the second you're born. Everything else seems logical about us humans: we feel good eating so that we'd actually want to eat and run atoms trough our digestive machinery, we feel good disposing of these atoms for the same reason, and lastly we feel good reproducing, well because we need reproduction. See there's no logical reason for homosexuality in our genes, there's no logical reason why it would've even become an allele trough evolution since it's simply not needed. Or maybe it is? Maybe there has been a time when there hasn't been enough women/men for men/women and people, in the midst of their boringness have been forced to improvise? Who knows.

What do all of you think about this? (TL;DR) Is homosexuality a genetic inheritable thing or can we all just find it in ourselves if we search hard enough?

-breeder

E: Edited some formatting issues

 

Lol e; is just because it's how the Internet does lol

 

So asexual people are just lonely... That's a stupid excuse for being ugly.

 

no its not dont make excuses eli

 

Ye it is

 

First off, that's the rudest thing you could tell an asexual- and not just because it's rude to call someone ugly. It's not a matter of whether or not I can get someone to love me, it's not an excuse because I can't get any sex; I simply don't want it. I wouldnt be surprised if people who can't get sex use asexuality as an excuse, but that's not the case. It's not that I'm lonely, it's simply that i don't want it... At all. I had a girlfriend for three years and actually denied her requests to have sex because I didn't feel like it was necessary. Don't be rude, and respect my sexuality. It's not a lie, it's literally how I feel, regardless of how foreign or weird it sounds to you.

 

I'm sure some people have lied just as an excuse for not being able to get sex, but for most of us, I included, just don't want it. I'm genuinely confused by sex and everyone's obsession with it. I don't see a purpose for it other than reproducing. I have never found a girl's boobs or butt attractive, nor have I ever been turned on by it. Same goes for guys- so I'm not gay, I'm just not interested.

 

tbh he's not horrible and he'd still love me regardless, but he's made some really rude comments on LGBT issues and people. He wouldn't say it to my face, but he'd certainly be dissapointed that his son doesn't find girls (and not even guys either) sexually attractive. He's probably got expectations for me, and I'd rather not dissapoint him. Not like it matters anyways, I'm still going to date guys and girls I like regardless of how my dad feels.

 

damn that's a wall of text if I've ever seen one.

Anyways, homosexuality is something you're born with. Same with bisexuality, asexuality, transgender feelings, etc. No, there's no scientific reason for homosexuality, and that's why it's often deemed wrong and unnatural.

It's not a matter of finding it, it's a matter of whether or not it was there in the first place. Love can't be forced; it's a completely involuntary thing. It may take a while to label yourself, because it takes a while to experience it all, but you cannot muster the sexual attraction for a sex you're not interested in in the first place.

I feel like people often jump to conclusions with the whole reproduction thing, because in all honesty they're two completely different things. Yes, love often leads to sex, but it's not always for the purpose of reproducing. Sexuality is probably a thing because it often feels good to have sex / love people, so even if the intention is not to make children, people still do it for the sake of it feeling good. Kinda like masturbation; it has no biological purpose, but it feels good. So it's completely natural if you love someone of your own sex, or love someone without having sex, because it's not always the intention, but rather the instinct.

 

I'd put those all into one post but I'm lazy and could care less so

 

I don't want this to turn into and argument (which would inevitably be a bad since some unwanted stress might slip out of our minds to the text making it aggressive and negative), so I'll just say this: I admire your perspective. I really do, it is good that you don't think that everything can be explained. Trying to explain everything could lead one to insanity, or depart one from believing in cultural things such as love, religion, etc. which could eventually turn said one into a narcissist of some kind.

However, my perspective is completely the contrary: I believe, personally, that everything, everything, can eventually, sooner or later, be explained. This has lead me into arguments about whether or not we are spontaneous, or if we always make our decisions based on our experiences. (I always use an example in situations like these: What if a man is told to choose a door to walk trough from 2 door of different color, he is told that the other one contains a treasure and the other one has a hungry lion inside, would he always choose the same door, if the earlier experience was forgotten and the mind reset to the state it was when the first decision was made?).

I also do not believe in destiny, in a sense that you can be born with a personality. I believe that one's genes might largely affect one's outcome as a person (a person born with artistic mindset might be drawn towards artistic subjects, because he might naturally have certain skills that help with these subjects), but it is definitely not black and white. In other words I do not believe homosexuality is a feature you can be born with, it is such a specific thing. And what I mean by specific is that it is a feature that could hardly be categorized with the basic features you can inherit by genes; you have to remember that homosexuality is after all just a fetish, among with objectsexuality, and all other stuff. It's what you prefer to get sexual pleasure from. Genes are the basic features a person can have, not specific things, for example a talented football player has not inherited the skill of that specific sport but rather a big portion of the skillset that skill is composed of (fast reflexes, good body and bone structure etc.). But what is homosexuality composed of? What is any sexual or personal preference composed of? Okay let's just stick with homosexuality. Assuming that homosexuality is a choice (conscious or subconscious, I am in no way claiming that all homosexuals have a moment when they consciously decide to become homosexuals, it can happen slowly in a way we can't even see it happen ourselves), what is the choice composed of? What makes our mind choose, or rather what makes us turn to that road which could lead us to become homosexuals? Or even better, what inheritable features might? The feeling of the need to differentiate from the masses, which could be the cause of a genetic feature; the feeling of creativity and the urge to find new ways to do stuff; or rather the feeling of just not liking the woman's body as much as a man's. This leads us to a new thought: can a person who has grown without a single sight of a woman/man know even what the other gender is? Can it have sexual attraction to a creature it has never seen? To clarify a bit- oh wait I'm probably gonna cut this here so I don't make a chapter too long.

Ah, much better. Now where were we- oh yeah, to clarify a bit, I'm going to present another metaphor: John has grown his whole human life up until his thirties (30s) at a family ranch isolated from anything else. Everyone, each and everyone at that farm, has always been incredibly obese. Oh and did I forget to mention John is also heterosexual. So his whole life, John has only seen obese women to feel sexually attracted towards. Of course there has been some action with a few over the years but that's not the point. The point comes here: at his thirties, he travels to the big city, and see's, for the first time, a beautiful young normal weight woman. To John this woman is like an anorectic person to us. Does he prefer this woman opposed to the other women at the ranch he has seen his whole life, or does he recent her for her skinniness?

In other words, are we just living in this mass-culture and have we just forgotten that it has shaped us? Are we lost in the illusion that since everybody has been shaped by it, it is all there is? What is genetic, and what is culture and our own experiences?

-breeder

 

FRHD community is so child-friendly huh. And I would be willing to bet that the majority of people who play FRHD are under 12

 

i would be disappointed to, if u were my son i would put you up for adoption

 

I'm 11, so yeah. I would believe that most of the people on FRHD is under 12.

 

just feel like saying that sexuality is fluid and very subjective in nature (as seen with many other mammals). it should not be taken so.. serious anyway. scientists and physicists can't really explain complex chemical brain neuron firings in today's world, yet at least.

 

There are only a few hypotheses as to why homosexuality would develop genetically. I tend to favor the position more that it's a biological accident.

Despite your own experiences you still can't discount the experiences of others - the first time I felt an attraction to a female was when I was 7. I grew up in an environment where it wasn't talked about, or if it was, it was 100% negative - as I was older that had an impact on me believing I was straight. I had no social or environmental influences that would lead me to find out I was homosexual out of my own curiosity. I just... was. And this is a story corroborated many times over.

Regardless of your own feelings, whether something is "natural" or not is defined by whether or not it occurs in nature, and homosexuality does, all over the board. How it "seems" isn't really a way to define it.

 

This does make sense, homosexuality is something that has been seen among all species and it certainly is in our nature, but the thing I'm most confused of is is is (wow the is') it inherited as a whole, or rather the features of what it's composed of, making some people more, and some less likely to become homosexuals? If you believe in the chaos theory you know that things that happen throughout your life can't be predicted from the moment you're born, since a simple footstep to the wrong direction might change the whole outcome of your life. Looking at a newborn baby, we can only guess what's the most likely thing to happen, but never be completely sure about it. What I mean by this is can you really be born with a feature of a personality that big, or can you only be more likely to grow into a person like that? Or is homosexuality even a feature, a part of personality?

Like I said in my latest comment: A football player that's thought to be naturally talented isn't born with the natural talent of that specific sport, he/she is born with the components that that sport requires (for example fast reflexes etc.). It is not said that he becomes a football player though, its just more likely because he succeeds in it. Is homosexuality like this? Of course sexuality is a thing that becomes very questioned in everybody's life at some point, but can a person that has these features homosexuality supports live his/her whole life without once thinking that he might be into the same sex, and so be straight even though he could have been gay? Is it possible?

You said you felt attraction to women even at the young age of 7, to me that sounds odd since I didn't know anything about sexual things since I was 10. I mean what is sexuality anyways? Is it that you feel sexual attraction towards a sex(/thing), or simply enjoy their presence? What separates a friend and a partner? What is love? (baby don't hurt me (i had to))

You also said that since you lived in a family that was against homosexuality, no influence could've come from your childhood, that you "just were" homosexual. That's just proof that you didn't make a conscious choice, but that's not all there is. Subconsciousness works all the practical sides of your live: it decides what to use energy on, how much it's used, and controls your hormones. Happiness is a hormone. What I'm trying to say that a subconscious choice is when your subconsciousness slowly learns a new rule, almost like a "setting", that tells it to use a certain hormone in a certain situation. A person that has had good times with his/her grandparents might love the smell of cinnamon if his/her grandparents used to make cinnamon buns. You know what I mean? You can pick up things that can influence on your latter personality even if you don't know they do. Even the fact that your father treated homosexuality negatively might have been a situation like this, even the sole fact of shutting the whole idea of homosexuality off of your head for a couple of years might've been a situation like this, because it brought the feeling of something new in homosexuality when you actually thought about it again. The feeling of discovering a whole new side in you that excited you and put even more contrast on the decision. I don't know if you understand what I'm hopelessly trying to say here.

But all in all, I respect you and will not question the origin of your homosexuality no more. It might be a born feature, it might be a "subconscious choice", who knows, you don't have to think about it if you're happy with it. I have my own theories, my own mind and world, after all is anybody right with these things? If there's a 50% chance of something happening in a week isn't there a 100% chance of it happening in 2 weeks kind of making it possible that you indeed are born gay? Okay I'll stop now

-you know who why do I even write it here it says it under my ******* profile picture everybody can see who I am

E: Removed a misleading "heh" hehe

 

I'm not sure if you know this but you tend to word vomit a lot.

First of all I'm always confused when I tell somebody my first attraction to women was at an early age and they ask me how that could be, because they didn't experience any sexual feelings at that age. Neither did I. I was 7. Attraction doesn't equal sexual attraction. Have you not had crushes at an early age? They're more an admiration of beauty and attachment to certain personality characteristics than anything else. Sexuality goes way beyond sexual attractions alone.

It seems the origins of my homosexuality interest you a lot. Lol. Let me just say that what you've said this far isn't accurate - the prohibition of homosexuality by my family never once made it more alluring or exciting to me. It was a damaging environment and I'm glad I've matured to the point I can deal with those things better.

Again, just because your experience was one you had out of curiosity and interest doesn't mean everyone else's is. For me it was innate and no matter how you spin it if I could have chosen differently, I would have.