Zycerak Thread

ZYCERAK UPDATE:

I am locking in. No more distractions.

Phone, internet was given to me by the government to keep me at bay. A sedative for my powerful mind. The stars foretold of my birth because I am a prophet. In preparation, they invented the most powerful and dangerous and consequential weapon the world has ever seen. The internet.And YouTube. One of my first encounters with a government operative was with a man who went by the code names "Tobuscus" and "TobyGames". I remember laying on the cold basement floor by the only outlet accessible to me so I could keep my iPad Mini charged in order to watch Tobuscus play Happy Wheels for 8 hours in a day. Tobuscus, Markiplier, PopularMMOs, saw them more than my friends, saw them more than my parents. Their trap kept me at bay.

Five Nights at Freddy's, Happy Tree Friends, GMod animations, Minecraft, all on YouTube YouTube YouTube, my skibidi toilets, my raison d'être, my air. Pollutants, they turned my mind into mush. Brains are already pretty mushy. I would like to hold a brain in my hands if it was cold. If it was warm it would feel more like it was alive and that would make me uncomfortable. They scare me, they look so inconspicuous, they should look more like computers, probably.

The amount of brainrot I consumed as a child is a burden I must carry with me to my grave. I appear normal in public but the weight of this burden causes me to feel isolated. That its something everyone can see, they can tell, a big arrow pointed at my head, a sign on my back that says "Kick Me." They can see my thoughts and they know my dreams. They know that when I was 11 I had an elaborate, longstanding fantasy where I was one of the kids who died and had their soul trapped in an animatronic (from Five Nights at Freddy's). I dreamt about it, too. Trapped in the body of a monster. People fearing me, running away. For as long as I can remember, I wanted so badly to be something I could never be, be in an entirely different body. I remember younger, maybe 7, watching Angry Beavers. One episode they played too much and broke time, time started to move backwards, and they started devolving in real time, turning into different creatures. I thought Wow, fascinating, it is so cool how they turn into microbes, I want to turn into a microbe too. I watched that scene on repeat. Wow... those fantasies may have subconsciously been a reflection of my reality and a way of coping with the monstrous loser that I am in real life...

I am relieved to understand that it is not my fault and I am actually the victim. Government operatives have been controlling my life. The constant influx of content prevents me from processing my feelings and emotions. It is their fault that I get stressed out easily, that I am so lazy, procrastinate so much, stay in bed all day, try to avoid my stress instead of facing it, like a baby needs his pacifier, I need my phone, my skibidi, my precious little skibidi. It is their fault I am so bummy, so unmotivated, can't think straight, can't tap into my intuition, can't socialize, and why I don't shower, why I smell really bad.

I must rise. Take action. No more phone. Tomorrow I lock in. I have projects that I must complete for class. Large projects I have been procrastinating heavy on for quite some time. 8, 10, 12, 14 hour work day, every day, its nothing to me now. I will wake up early, meditate, calm, prepare myself for the day. Eat my inhibitors for breakfast. No more doubt, I must dive in head first .I do not have to know what I am doing. My work does not have to be perfect. It is perfect by nature of being, everything I create is perfect because it has been created.

I must practice socializing. On my wall, I drew the body of a figure, and printed the face of Kamala Harris, because she is intimidating to me, vice president, basically president because I am not sure if Biden is... you know..... anways..... she is a girl boss who won't take sh$$$t from me. Ultimate authority figure. God, fear of God. I practice talking to her, pretend she is real, what would I say? How do I move past small talk? Should I invite her out to grab a coffee or does she think I'm weird? Well... the worst she can say is no... and then drone strike a Palestinian family in my name... Gadzooks! But I must let her stare me down, yell at me, hurt me. I need to accept that a lot of people will not like me. I just.. I just can't stand the hate! Ohhhh! How can I bear to live with myself if even one person does not like me? That means I am imperfect! But alas.. That's how the government operatives want me to think. I have nothing to lose. I must step out of my mind. Let my primal instincts take control. AWOOOO!!!! One day, by grace of Allah, I shall howl at the moon.

I am far from my goals. I am asking large things from myself. To be completely uninhibited, open, vulnerable, honest, primal, instinctual, emotional, that is something I have never been, I have been the opposite, and improving is another area where I procrastinate. Passing me by... People passing me by..... Opportunities passing me by..... Life passing me by.... This is all exactly what the government operatives want. Because before I was born, they saw the prophecy, and they knew what I was capable of if I lived up to my full potential. That is why they tried so hard to repress me. And they have done an excellent job. I am like Ace chained up at Impel Down (One Piece reference), but at the same time, I am Luffy (One Piece reference) And we are trying to escape together. It shall not happen overnight. Sigma, one day, I dream, one day, I will become sigma chad. If I don't in my 20s, I shall in my 30s, if not my 30s, then my 40s, if not my 40s, then my 50s, if not my 50s, then my 60s, if not my 60s, then my 70s, if not my 70s, then my 80s, if not my 80s, then my 90s, if not my 90s, then my 100s, if not my 100s, then my 110s, if not my 110s, then my 120s, if not my 120s, then my 130s, I'd probably die around this point. But then I can die happy, knowing I devoted my life to something; devoted my life to trying to find something to devote my life to, and trying not to be a bum. Luffy said something like that once, from One Piece.

 

ZYCERAK UPDATE:
PLEASE LIKE MY POST!!!!!!!! AAHHHHH!!!!!! IM ACTUALLY GOING TO KILL MYSELF IF YOU DONT LIKE MY PSOT!!!!! FRHD IS ALL I HAVE!!!!!!!!!! I DONT HAVE A SINGLE FRIEND IN REAL LIFE!!!!! MY ONLY FORM OF SOCIAL INTERACTION IS FREE RIDER HD!!!! YOU GUYS ARE ALL I HAVE!!!!! PLEASE DON'T ABANDON ME!!!!! I HAVE SO MANY MENTALL ILLNESSES!!!!!!! I WAS LOOKING IT UP AND APPARENTLY I HAVE MAJOR DEPRESSIVE DISORDER, ANXXIETY DISORDER, BIPOLAR..... YOU NAME IT!! I AM SO ON THE VERGE OF DOING SOMETHING CRAZY!!! Anyways...... Track Out Soon! Or not..... What A Thrill It Is To Be Alive!
My name is Zycerak I was born on November 18, 2003....> A Date I will almost remember.... I could feel my mothers pain....as she was giving birth.....IRemember how she felt once I Was out of her body....relieved, that I was alive and healthy, Thankful for another child! (Yes! I am the YOUNGEST CHILD! I am going to be... FOREVER YOUNG! Always the youngest)! She said to me.... "NOAH! NOAH! I never liked the name Noah..... I am not religious,,, I am an athiest #FUCKGOD But I Just had a vision....... You, saving two of each species... on an ark... I had a vision, that YOU will save the world, you will survive my flood, and CHANGE THE WORLD! YOu are nmportant, you will one day accomplish what NO MAN has accomplished before, YOU wil lbring peace to this world... you will only die once the World is free of sin... It is in my plan.. part of God's plan... by DRAKE! My favourite music artist. I LOVE CANADA!.... JUST KIDDING! I don't know anything about music arist DRAKE, othrer than he is Canadian...but I am going to ve honest... CANADA ******* SUCKS! Ask anyone in Cananada and they will say we are a washed down United States.... We Have no unique identity.... Except the QUßÉBÉCOIS! I wish I was QUßÉBÉCOIS! They have an interesting culture......Ilike their accent.... And my favourite teacher was QUßÉBÉCOIS!I want to move to Montréal.....My friend moved to Montréal recently.... I lowkery have a crush on himHes soooo cute he looks liek Timothy Chalament! Ok... I might be a little gay GHAHAHHAHA!!! I like having fun on these forums....... I almost made a miniature worlds contest entry I swear!! I had the track almost made and everything... but then I was thinking Well What if this track sucks??/ Im so self conscious.....A rtrack is coming soon though I can feel it... I just need to start.... I just need to pee! Pee and poop is so funny... But why? Truly a marvel of human consciousness... I bet no other species finds poop as funny as us... anyways I have to go real bad so BRB>.....I'M BACK!!! I can't wait to post this.. I bet it will do some numbers!! I love seeing high numbers... gives me that dopamine rush... anyways... Tomorrow is a brand new day... I wonder what it will bring? Let's find out!

 

Cerasium You are such a faker. There is no way you read all of that. It has been to short a time. There Is no way you read all that. Even if you did.. It;s not like you could understand me... No one understands me... YOu were formerly known as BoostButt right?? Hahaha that's so embarrassing, you had butt in your name. Grow up man that's so immature. Anyways... You made me quit ghosting. You beat me in a ghosting tournement and I got so depressed I almost killed myself. How would you feel if you killed someone? You probably wouldn't feel anything. Scum of the Earth.

 

Me right before I neck myself. Only to die after w snowball fight

 

ZYCERAK UPDATE:

I do not want to write about anything, but I am going to make myself write anyways. Wish me luck! Hm... let me talk about my physical surroundings right now. Right now, I am wrapped tightly in four white walls, white floor, white ceiling. The floor is a mix between a bed and the ocean, and I am sinking deep into the sheets like they're giving me a big hug!

I have about two thirds of a half of a footlong subway sandwich. What happened to five dollar footlongs? I paid twelve dollars. I distinctly remember the "five dollar footlong" jingle. Where did that go? 12 dollars for a flipping sandwich? And that is my cheapest food option here? Well..... I could have gotten half of the sandwich for $8.... In hindsight I should have gotten half... I didn't know my belly would get so full...

I told my class that I dressed up as Purple Guy from Five Nights at Freddys for halloween in the seventh grade. Where does my shame and dignity go when I start talking to people? Some days I am too embarrassed of myself to go outside, but other days I confess dumb **** to people. All they know about me is I dressed up as Purple Guy from Five Nights at Freddys for halloween in the seventh grade.

This post is shaping up mid. A while ago I would have deleted it then contemplated suicide, but I am over that now, I am not ashamed to post mid. I do not see faces when I post so I do not connect that I am posting to real people. The expectation placed on not just me but everyone in society to post good content has gotten out of hand. They call out mid like you broke the Geneva Convention. I do that. If someone posted mid it would forever alter my perception of them and I would think of them as a dud. I wouldn't value their life. But then I'd talk to them still, and pretend to be their friend, but deep down I actually hate them. But I am able to tolerate them because I'm a good guy, even though they are duds, I still love them, like having a child with down syndrome. I treat a lot of the people on here this way! You know who you are. And if you don't then jeez... I'm not surprised but thats a new low. might have to be moved to Dud tier two.'

If I tried I know I can do great things, like get a PhD or cure cancer. But meh... I don't think I will. Society is not worth helping. You people don't appreciate me enough so I won't give back. In a functional society you would all be kissing my feet. Licking on my feet and sucking my toes like lolipops. Pull them out and make a big "pop!" from the suction. Not the minors though. Not that its sexual in any way, but it might be interpreted that way. It means nothing except a sign of respect. Like laying down a red carpet, so I don't get my shoes dirty. Or a kiss on the hand. Just realizing I bet that's why they call lollipops lollipops. Beceause it makes a popping sound when you take it out of your mouth as your sucking on it. Makes sense to me.

Thinking about the day old subway sandwich in my backpack. I'm not hungry, but eating is something to do. Anything it takes to procrastinate harder. I have two papers and a booklet due tomorrow, and then three paintings and two portfolios due tuesday which I haven't started any. I don't know what to paint. I told my class I was thinking about 9+10 kid. I wonder what they think of me. I just hope they don't think I'm rude. If they think I'm weird or autistic that's fine, but I'm not a meanie, I have a gentle heart. A heart of gold. I don't ignore them on purpose, I'm just shy. I hope they see.

No agency, no authority, every day is the same, exact flipping same! I should lose an arm, or get cancer, to change it up. I saw an interesting YouTube video that changed my life. A 16 year old girl had a breakdown while she was driving her friends, she cried so much that it caused her to swerve and crash. She wasn't wearing a seatbelt and she flew high out the window. Her femur snapped in half and hooked around the wires of a telephone pole, and she was hanging there for hours, conscious, waiting for rescue. They had to be careful because the wires were preventing her from bleeding out and dying. Once she was rescued, she passed out. And she had a vision. God called her on FaceTime, and she was given the dilemma to hang up or pick up. She picked up, and awoke, more religious, and happier than ever. She lost her leg, but she was in a better state of mind than ever before. This had changed her life. This made me realize, all I have to do is lose a limb, or get cancer, and I will be happy. So I just have to wait until then.

 

Erm… what the sigma

 

Zycerak What's up Zy McFly

 

ZYCERAK UPDATE:

My last post flopped so I feel extremely vulnerable and suicidal writing this. It makes me feel as if my life has no purpose or meaning, and that everything I do is pointless, and I should stop trying and just give up.

I need to go poop.

I slept for 17 hours last night, my new personal record! I slept more in one night than I did for the week prior.

I REALLY need to poop.

I have an interview tomorrow morning for a high paying, full-time summer job. Oh boy! I hope it goes well.

I don't need to poop as bad anymore, I wonder what happened?

I just scratched an itch, precisely 14cm to the right from the centre of my belly button (I measured with a ruler). It made me feel fat, I have a large stomach that spills over my waistband despite being a healthy weight. A "beer belly" as some may say. If I got any fatter I would probably shoot myself. I have a lot of respect for people on the larger side because of this (I am not naming names but you know who you are). Wakanda Forever.

My need to poop is almost gone, but now that I am thinking about it again it's coming back.

The air changed. The World feels different. I slept for so long I did not wake up in the same World. I slept through the old World. It's a new era. I can feel it in the air.

I have one pill left, but I will not be able to renew my prescription until May 27th. I could bring a loaded gun to the Pharmacy, or I could start taking any pill that I can find on the streets. I think my mind has already subconsciously decided to do both, and so now it is out of my control.

I have two Final Exams left; Psychology and Marketing. There is a surprising amount of overlap between the two. Consumers are dumb as rocks, including me, including you. Marketers are Evil Psychologists, Psychologists using their Psychology Powers for Evil. But I don't blame them, because consumers are dumb as rocks and I think they deserve to be exploited and manipulated. My Marketing Professor got a round of applause on the last day of class. Most days only a quarter of the class showed up so I'm not sure why. And it's not like one keener started clapping first, the class simultaneously erupted in applause. I joined in and I am not sure why. I would definitely side with Hitler if I was a German in the 1930s-1940s. I would want to be his Number Two. The World is indifferent to villainy, all that matters is the positive affirmations from who you associate with, and feeling that you are Right. Villains can never be adequately punished. If you die believing you are Right then it does not matter if the whole World is against you, you are absolved, you die fulfilled, you die after living the Good Life, all hate and suffering inflicted on you is, and has always been, completely pointless. This just simply isn't fair! "B-b-but Hitler was a bad guy!" No one cares. The only way to beat him is by living a more fulfilling life by doing good.

I think my poop god absorbed back into my body.

This interview is going to be scary!

My room is a mess, and I smell bad. I also look like a drug addict: disheveled, patchy facial hair, and my teeth are yellow. Snot seeping out my nose. Eye gunk clouding my vision. Lips dried, bruised, and battered. Nails bitten and deformed. At least I got my swagger on!

 

take a shower and touch some grass
good luck on the interview!

 

I love Zy lore woooooo

 

LOL Coated_Badger

 

how much do you weigh?

i'm trying to decide if the plus sized office chair i'm sending you will be enough to hold all the, uh. spillage.

 

Zycerak One night I was up really late with my cousin. We were watching a movie and just having a good time, we eventually got hungry so I walked into the kitchen to get some food. I looked around a bit and found some delicious cheesecake from the ile company, there was enough for the both of us too. We ate most of it but saved a piece because we got full. At about 1:30am I heard something in the kitchen, so as quiet as possible I walked into the kitchen and saw an unknown creature, I've never seen it before. I thought it could have been just a deer or something but when I turned the light on it was.. A human but he was mutated. I started running but the human tackled me and tried to bite me until I kicked him in the face. He was hurt long enough for to get up, I grabbed my gun and asked who he was, he said... Eli.. And all he wanted was some cheesecake.

 

poop on me zycerak...No POOP on ME, you need to poop so much i just wanna help you relieve it from your body, the slow tightening of your booty when it plops on me will give me all the validation i need... " i really help him with his life". " i stopped all his pain". ahh yes, I have relieved the prophet of his duties..... but how could someone like me help out someone like you, BECAUSE IM ALSO A CANADIAN WITH MENTAL ILLNESS, EH? YES it Me! I Had a vision, The destroyer of worlds came in me, erm i meant came for me, Because i am the last saviour of humanity, And i need to team up with you zycey wikey, the almighty CHAR (creator of worlds) came on me with his vision, right in my eye i could barely open it, but just enough to envision the future that we save! SIDE BY SIDE we can create the best track and get the numbers, WE BOTH LOVE NUMBERS, Numbers are the creation of life, Everything is binary, I've seen the code bleed from the walls when i had a vision of life, i was in the 69th dimension, much higher then any of you could fathom.... Then it stopped and i seen life how you mere mortals see it, dull and bland.. BLEH. Frick i just wanna be cool like you guys.... anyways i have social anxiety now my "meds" worn off ( i lied to my doctor to get the good stuff ).

 

poop is Gross ...

 

Not so silent are you now... Finger. Slip it out of your butt and relieve yourself some stress. Stay Slient finger, i know your secrets... Muahahahah *insert mysterious fog* *disappears*

 

ZYCERAK UPDATE:

Went to the bathroom, didn't wash my hands, filled up 2 Litre bottle, bug in water but I drink it anyways
My tongue was stinging before drinking the water, so the water tasted spicy
2 Litre means less getting, more efficient
Trying to cut back on water from my diet, more efficient
I can't remember when I last showered
One of my teeth disintegrated
I played Rush Royale (sort of like a mix between Clash Royale and Bloons Tower Defence) for 9 hours in one day just to feel something
I had a point or something I was getting to, let me think.

 

ME UPDATE:
i'm awesome

 

Boooooo

Anyways,



ZYCERAK UPDATE:

This post is different
I will write it in haikus
I love poetry

I thought haikus rhymed
And "rhymed" was two syllables
It's one syllable

I lost some progress
Just deleted two haikus
What a waste of time

I was nine or ten
Power outage, track not saved
Lost hours of progress

I cried to my mom
Then I cried on the forums
Still not over it

It's harder to think
Brain's deteriorating
Not my problem though

I could get cancer
I could already have it
Would you cry for me?

Watching videos
Lots about the disabled
Like a limbless guy

Good thing I'm abled
I'm mentally disabled
At least I have limbs

Eryp's disabled
He's too fat so he can't walk
He needs a scooter

There's more videos
Teacher married her student
34 and 12

She was pregnant too
And she thought it was legal
Because it was love

I wish I was groomed
Then I'd be sitting pretty
With a wife in hand

That's insensitive
This topic is serious
I feel bad, sorry

But speaking of which
Drake's a freaking pedophile
God shall smite him soon

God smites all my ops
God made me extra special
I'm his favourite

I think I'm his son
I must carry out his will
And smite ops myself

I just bought a gun
I am the Holy Machine
I have to crusade