Pour Your Heart Out

but I just did

 

Oh

 

I don't get it

 

I forgot all about this

 

this the most wisdom i ever had

 

wish I could fuc.k someone to get rid of my suicidal ideation

 

in all honesty amazing how he was able to turn his life around, sadly it doesn’t work like that for everyone :/

 

hop off this game first

 

._. im sorry bro.

 

A lot of people in the Free Rider Community say I'm a bit of d.ick sometimes, but unlike others, I do genuinely care about people's feelings both irl and online. To keep this short, that scenario was not your fault. How would you know how she would respond, besides, she came in all guns blazing saying "When was the last time you jerked off?" It was just a real shame you lost your best friend in the process, I can't imagine how you felt.

As for Anorexia, it's no joke. I can't comprehend what you must be going through right now, so much missed free time and loss of school hours, the struggles of everyday life. I have full faith in whatever you're going through, you're going to make soundly recovery in however long it may take. Life is worth living, you should push through all challenges to continue on your legacy, it also makes you a stronger person. Although all our futures are uncertain, one thing is for sure, with help, determination and change of mind, it will drive us on some sort of path.

There's a reason why my signature on forums says "The Legacy Continues...", As in all aspects of life, it guides us onto the years where we grow, change and become stronger, life doesn't unfold in reverse.

I wish you all the best man. (Maybe take some time off Free Rider unless it is an important part of your daily life, do whatever's best for you)

 

I’m am very sorry for you :-( If there happens to be some thing I can do for you to help. You can always conversation with me.

 

hard stuff here

 

thank you guys <3

 

I'm sorry to hear that that happened. I can't imagine losing someone in such an awful way, let alone such a special person. Even though this situation was "caused" by your actions, I think you're being too hard on yourself. In my eyes, you did nothing wrong at all. Sure, you made a joke that did hurt someone, but the way that Elie's sister mentioned that topic so casually is a clear indication to me that she's totally fine with talking about this type of stuff, and the fact that she followed up with another question this time related to you personally makes me think, "Yeah, she's definitely okay with talking about this stuff." So I'm honestly confused about how she was somehow "triggered" by something she brought up. I don't blame you at all for responding the way you did, since you were literally responding to her interests; it's virtually the same as asking what someone's favorite car brand is to someone who just said they were interested in cars. Perhaps she had some sort of traumatic experience with that site specifically, but I don't see how her first and second questions weren't a trigger already.

It was kind of the parents for dismissing the incident as a minor mistake that anyone could have made, but Elie's unforgiving behavior is not very considerate. Making a little joke like that should not warrant such ostracism, in my opinion. I can barely make sense of Elie's reaction. Calling you "stupid" isn't fair at all, because if everybody was too scared to crack a joke during conversation, human interaction would be incredibly boring because all comedy pokes fun at something. "Whatever between [you guys] was over and to never contact her again" is not a very mature response to a lighthearted joke. This, to me, is a huge misunderstanding and you should not have been treated this way. Maybe I don't understand the situation fully, but what I think is that it's really unfair, this situation, and I'm once again sorry that you have to go through this. I'll pray for you.

Dealing with this alone is difficult enough, but when you've lost a major foundation in your support system, the whole game changes. It's good that you're receiving medical care, but I can see why it might not be so good anymore once it interferes with your routine. I suppose your health should come before everything else, but things really aren't working out for you. I can't remember if you've been talking to a therapist before, but if you aren't, I think it would be good to find a professional worker to work with you through your mental burdens. Of course, getting a therapist will take up even more time, but it certainly can be helpful. Either way, you can always reach out to me if you need someone to talk to. Again, I'm praying for you. Hope things get better soon, Xenom.

 

I know how you feel with the eating disorder, I have one actually. ARFIDs. It's been with me since kindergarten and probably before. I'm sorry you got diagnosed with it and I am glad you are getting help for it.

 

tysm man. i am indeed going to a therapist, and it's been helping a bit. what you've said makes sense, I feel like if I could just talk to her, idk if she's misunderstood what happened or what, because I thought our friendship was strong enough to be able to move over something like this. she's blocked me though and avoids me/cold shoulders me any time we see each other.

 

we love xenom

 

If you can't talk to her through online or in-person means, I would maybe try to ask her sister to pass on a message for you. Having Elie's sister explain to Elie what's going through your head would be a good choice since it's clear that her sister's already gotten over the incident for a good while now. If the person directly affected doesn't hold any hard feelings anymore and has already restored harmony with the other, I don't see why Elie should still make such a large fuss over some small joke. With Elie's sister explaining how everything's okay and that you really didn't mean any harm at all, it might be able to help Elie understand your point of view.

 

I can't even post here if I tried because my own mind wouldn't let me. If I open up about anything about my last 5 years of fuck1ng h3ll, I'm scared I'll get judged or worse. When I'm on here, I usually try to put out a persona that has nothing wrong trying to hide who I really am and if I'm having an abnormally bad day sometimes I let it wear off and I say something I didn't mean to and almost expose myself and it's too late to revert it most of the time. If i try and be myself something bad always happens and everyone hates me and I'm not letting that happen here. I hope I'll be able to open up more but I'm afraid for now. I'm sorry for wasting your time reading this.