Pour Your Heart Out

not saying this could go the wrong way
but people should careful when they say things like 'i understand u' cuz sometimes
the person doesnt feel like anyone understands them, or that perosn hasnt done anything to actually show they understand so it can be a bit annoying. i dont think innominate is going to take it the wrong way but just wanted to say incase u say it to someone that would take it the wrong way

 

that's a good quote, but I'd be careful who you say it around. They could take it the wrong way. Maybe use fire burning as a different analogy

 

no, actually even when people don't but they make a genuine attempt to try to relate or they do in some way then it's very nice to me actually

tyty L7NX dw

 

im here anytime bro

 

I understand. Nobody has ever said that to me but I can see how that would be annoying.

 

agreed
i thought of that too. and wondered how to phrase it to make it sound less able to be taken in a wrong way lol

 

yeh

 

You are all loved

 

yall need to hop on self improvement

 

you don't think i've tried?

 

buddy i tried 5+ times over 2 year before it finally starting working over the past few weeks. you probably took the wrong approach, had too big of an ego, were to strict, thought you were different than everybody else and things wouldn't work for you like meditating and gratitude, got caught up in guilt when you relapsed or missed a habit, half-asssing the important stuff, not taking enough action or implementing small things that can actually make a difference, or thought that because you tried already its not meant for you and youre just gonna be a little b.itch and go back to having f.ucked up mental health and not doing anything productive with your life. these are all things that affected me over my journey and im still learning, but you gotta constantly try to improve yourself everyday

 

bro said "buddy i tried 5+ times over 2 year before it finally starting working over the past few weeks. you probably took the wrong approach, had too big of an ego, were to strict, thought you were different than everybody else and things wouldn't work for you like meditating and gratitude, got caught up in guilt when you relapsed or missed a habit, half-asssing the important stuff, not taking enough action or implementing small things that can actually make a difference, or thought that because you tried already its not meant for you and youre just gonna be a little b.itch and go back to having f.ucked up mental health and not doing anything productive with your life. these are all things that affected me over my journey and im still learning, but you gotta constantly try to improve yourself everyday"

 

No no, don’t get me wrong, I’m trying. I’m seeing this a bit better now, from my perspective this seemed like the equivalent of “just be happy” and I was kinda mad, like do you not think I haven’t been?

every day my life gets worse man. I am trying the very hardest I can. If I wasn’t I would’ve shot myself in the head or jumped into traffic. I don’t think I’m any different than anyone else. It’s not like “ope I tried one day and it didn’t work, guess I’ll give up”. I am trying so mf hard. To assume that I’ve just gone and half-assed the “hard stuff” or think that I assume I’m different seems ridiculous. If anyone is taking the “wrong approach” it would be this. This isn’t helpful for most people, telling them they didn’t try hard enough, or that they didn’t try long enough, or they didn’t try the right things.

 

when did i say just be happy? thats not how it works, you actually have to do certain things that lead to having an overall higher level of happiness and willingness to do hard things. I understand that it is hard to do things when you are depressed because i was in the same boat as you. its all about slowly implementing small habits and reducing instant gratification till a point where you feel ready to level it up. Also, all the things i suggested were simply suggestions of something you could be doing wrong, not any accusations, but I'm sure at least a few of the things I wrote were true. Also, i think telling someone that they didnt try the right things could be very beneficial, because if they think one thing is helpful, when its really another thing it could have a negative impact. Also, not trying to be and a-hole here, but i feel like your ego is still getting in the way, you need to take a step back and think about this from another persons pov.

also you wrote this comment which I presume is a sarcastic remark "try self improvement over not caring! It’s amazing, solves all problems and is easy af" I think you're just a little upset that it is not very easy and hasn't worked for you. Like I said, i tried 5+ times, so for you to assume i said its easy is just wild. the whole point is that its difficult, but that builds discipline and overall improves your life. Like i said earlier, its hard to do it when you are depressed, which is where you and I started. Start small. Make your bed tommorow. Then after a few days of that, write down what your grateful for in the morning and meditate for a minute. that should be easy for anyone. just slowly build it up and it will work.

if anybody needs any help just dm

 

geez y’all reminding me of AfterImage

 

*equivalent

seriously. My ego? My ego??? L M F A O O O O O O O O O
holy cow guys i've gotten my ego back
no longer feeling like i'm a piece of ****, I have an image to uphold, because apparently now I have one! not only that, I'm insanely prideful about it to. this is a momentous occasion, we need to hold a celebration

I never said anything was going to be easy man. I was messing with you, because you don't seem to give a **** about anyone or anything, as you said, and yet you say that we need to try self improvement. Self improvement includes not only upholding yourself, but being a decent member of society. Clearly you haven't trued that. and wow. you tried an entire 5 times to improve yourself? I've tried hundreds. every day for the past 3-4 years. and the entire time i've been getting worse. there is a huge difference between constructive criticism and criticism. Assuming that someone has been doing the wrong things, withpout explaining what the RIGHT things are, and not even knowing what they've been trying holds little to no value. I don't think you quite understand that just because you were able to climb out of a hole called depression, doesn't mean everyone can, and not in the same ways. I agree, trying to hold yourself to a schedule and starting with the small things can help. Do your hair. Eat breakfast. Make your bed. But that doesn't always help. And while you should continue them, assuming that that is all someone needs, and that if they are still depressed it means they are doing something wrong does not help.

fyi, i've done everything you've said, and more, on my own. Instead of meditating, because i tend to lose my train of thought quickly and have a really hard time sitting still I've started a journal where I write everything down. Including the things I'm grateful for. I've also been praying a lot more, also saying things I'm thankful for. I'm going to start something I was recommended where I write down all my negative thoughts on a piece of paper and rip them up and throw them away.

That doesn't mean I'm happy, and it definitely doesn't mean I'm getting any better. But I obviously am trying.

so when I said that I've been trying, i meant it. that's not my ego talking, that's me waking up at 5:30 in the morning and hopping on the bike trainer talking.






also yeah you are being a huge *******

 

*sigh*
u should never blame someone unhappy for being unhappy
:/
Or judge how hard they're trying
Or judge wether they doin it right or wrong
For me-
just the idea that i have the power to not be deppressed anymore is deppresing
take it easy
;D

 

first off, i knew you would be appalled at me calling out your ego. and thats your ego, making you think that you dont have an ego. dont worry, its okay to have one, everybody does, i do, but the whole point is to overcome that and do whats right without thinking that your better or different. I'm very glad that you don't feel like a piece of s.hit. Now im not accusing you of anything here, but depression is not having a drive to do anything or get things done, which is what most people in modern society have and you possibly might. Also, if i didnt give a s.hit about anybody why would i be trying to explain this to you and help you with this? Also, ofc ive tried more than 5 times to improve myself, but I mean ive tried on multiple occasions to make a big change and they never worked. also, 99% of people can escape depression. you are back to the ego thing by thinking you are different, you just need to realize that with the right things you can climb out. and i know your about to go oh no, i doesnt work for me, but it can if you do the right things. it would be to hard to explain what that is here, but i will make a thread about it soon because many people here including my past self desperately need to fall out of the trap that is internet and video game addiction. journaling and gratitude journaling is great and one of the best things you can do to overcome depression, and so is prayer. About meditation, you are probably going about it the wrong way. The whole point is to start out small like with everything else, but you also have to meditate right. Meditation is not sitting there and thinking of nothing. What you want to do is sit with your eyes closed in a comfortable position and just stay focused on your breath and nothing else. When you lose your focus and start thinking about high school, video games, or some other random thing, simply bring your attention back to the breath. Think of this as similar to 1 rep in the gym. Meditation like this is one of the best things for mental health and improves mindfulness like crazy. I do agree that not everything is for everybody, but a few main habits are inexcuseable. Like for instance, i dont use a timetable, but i still gratitude journal even though i dont like it. The main things you have to do are meditate, journal, exercise - specifically weightlifing or calisthenics, and reading. hope you can overcome your depression and i hope everyone else can, because it can be done.

 

that was...sarcasm at the top. yeah, i don't think that you're one to talk about ego

99% of people escape depression?

I think that what you fail to understand is that depression isn't simply just something caused by circumstances. People can have major depression and suicidal thoughts for no apparent reason. Take Robbin Williams, or even Owen Wilson for example. Both actors have struggled with depression, impacting their careers. In the end Robbin Williams ended his own life, but why? He had fame, money, and from the outside it looked like happiness! He acted like he was just fine, even though he wasn't. I'm sure that he tried many of the things that you've recommended to me as well as therapy and other things as well. Stuff sometimes just doesn't go away. And not very many people have access to the same amount of resources that he did. Roughly every 40 seconds there is a death due to suicide. 800,000 deaths a year. That's not very much compared to 8 billion, sure, but that's still a lot. that's a TON. and that's a small fraction of people that can't "climb out of depression". 99 percent of people, man oh man I think that you need to just pause and take a break before you make outlandish statements like this.

I don't think I'm different, man. I WANT to get out of here. It's not like I'm arguing to stay where I am...this isn't my ego talking.

when I do meditation, it sounds like I'm doing what you're thinking of. Getting in a really quiet place, and trying to clear your head and relax for a minute. I nearly never have a quiet moment in my life until midnight. I live with a very full house. I have to go to the library to do homework and read because it's just too busy around me. I am open to trying meditation, I've tried using many different resources. One of which I remember was sal khan (from khan academy) narrating to explain how to do it and get into the meditative state, before fading away.

As for weightlifting and such, I don't think that weightlifting and calisthenics are necessarily the "best" way to get over depression when it comes to excercise. I think that they are focused on simply because it's easier to see improvements in your body, and lots of people turn to them with depression, I get it. For me, not so much. I bike, and race, and I don't necessarily want a bunch of muscle weight on my arms. I bike far, I run far. That's what I do. I bike away from my depression instead of focusing it on weights. I do lift a little, it's good to have all around strength. But I'm not going to start calisthenics or weightlifting specifically to help me, I'd much rather be up in the mountains than in a gym. I'm sure it's much more helpful for me specifically. The outdoors, climbing 2000 feet and then descending, getting over every little rock and tree roots, every little victory helps me far more than lifting has.

And yeah, I have tried lifting. For about 3 months last year i did it exclusively. I didn't find much gratification in it. I still do it, and I do pushups and pull ups every day.

depression isn't simply an inability to conform to habits you need to do. It makes it so, so, so much harder. But if someone woke up and managed to do everything perfectly for a week it might not make them happier. it's different for everyone