endy's thoughts

hiya.

i haven't seemed to be much of a sharer in the past, but i have too many damn thoughts in my head to try and keep there. might as well put em somewhere. likely will update this with a small lil portion every week or so, when i have something to say. even more likely is that i turn some of these into videos some day, once i've lost a good 15 pounds of fat that keeps me looking chubby on camera that is!

if there's anything anyone else feels they need to say here go ahead and say it, maybe this'll be my own little area to feel myself out, maybe it can be yours as well! i'm not one to ever know things, teehee

22/11/28 (open) 22/11/28 (close)

today is the day after, for me. yesterday was the final showing of a play i've worked on since august. amadeus. the final show was the best one out of them all. barely a mistake, barely a thing gone wrong. that's how you kind of HAVE to think about theater when you're doing it, since it's the audience's job to only see the things that have gone right. and that's exactly how it was! a great deal of people came down, wanted to shake my hand, talk about whatever came out of their mouths. a man came down from telluride (about 1.5 hours away, in the snow!), was a theater critic of all things. said this was one of the best things he had ever seen. kind of took me aback a bit. a lot, actually. work doesn't always pan out, nor should it, really, but feeling this is worthwhile has been a tremendous strength i hope to lean on for the future.

and so it was done. cleaned up the set, disassembled the piano, put all the costumes away, took some of the props for our own keeping. it also felt good to be done! four months of effort come to completion. we ate pizza, talked like it wasn't going to be the last time we would all be in the same room together, and went on the mostly icy ways back home. i captured about two hours of footage throughout the final day, the most i think i've ever taken with this camera in the year that i've had it. not exactly looking forward to scrubbing it all for the good stuff, but i have my work set out for me.

during the tenure this play has taken on my life, i was honestly greatly concerned that my creativity would stagnate once working on a project i wasn't leading in any way. starring, yes, not at all directing, or putting the set together, or worrying about sound, backstage, whatevers. but no! more creative than possibly ever. i draw every day, i play at least one instrument every day, i'm out and about, i'm writing near every day (at the very least i'm pulling more and more ideas out my ass XD) i've started asking those around me to work on some ideas i've had bouncing around my head like a computer screensaver for the past three years. i'm working on tracks again (!). i'll be recording and drawing all day today and tomorrow, and then i'll go to work finding some sort of job around these parts. it's hard to find work during the winter, but i'm hoping to manage. we usually do, after all!

i have absolutely no idea how to teach the drive that i seem to be holding on to at the moment. mostly because i'm not entirely sure how i found it. it seems to have clasped onto my shoulder at a point when i wasn't exactly looking for it. maybe i was looking for it to be in front of me, not just behind. again, i don't profess to know. i hope beyond all things that everyone can be able to find this, for all things they need to have it for.

ALBUM OF THE WEEK!! Cherry, by Daphni. Phenomenal dance record. Put it on in headphones, see what you think.
SONG OF THE WEEK!!! I Want You To Love Me, by Fiona Apple. I move with the trees and the breeze, I know that time is elaaSTICK.
THING OF THE WEEK!! Fallout 4. MODDED. Put a new "gamemode" on it, called Horizon. It kicks my ass inside out. Stress beyond belief. Fantastic.
SAYING OF THE WEEK! Poopy-di scoop, scoopy-di whoop. Whoop. Di scoop. Di poop.

afterthought; this ended up much more personal than i had thought it would be when i sat down to write an hour ago. fine by me, heehee! hope you have a wonderful week, if that's what you'd like it to be

22/12/12 (open) 22/12/12 (close)

Hi again.


Had a lot of ideas for this second installment going a lot of different ways. Most of them were around, ya know, the kind of stuff we do around here. Trackmaking, detailing, storytelling, design, shittalking, shitposting. Nothing would come out when it came to the page. To actually writing it out down here. Was a bit puzzled, I gotta say. Now that got me thinking…. Ruminating, possibly…..


The second thing in most things is the thing that tends to tell you where something might be going, for better or worse. Doesn’t really matter if it ends up Terminator 2 or Grown Ups 2, the second part of something gives you more than just coordinates. Two points connected make a line, and wherever that second point lands lets loose some kind of data, whether it wants to or not. Having this thought in context isn’t a particularly easy one to wield, but it inevitably gathers into this:


How do you make the second part the best that it can be? How do you make ANY part the best that it can be?


So anyway. I’ve been realizing something about the way I work. I start strong, then second think. Whenever I try and continue work on something, track, music, art, whatever,is usually the place that I tend to fail. Things start not panning out right. The plan worked, and now it’s not. Oopsie woopsie.


What to do?


So far, I find that often the best thing to do is something else. Take a break. Look at other parts life offers. Shrimple as that. If something isn’t drawing right, if things can’t write right, I pet my cat. One of em is usually watching what I’m doing at a chair just to the side of me, but if they aren’t!!! Now that gives me an opportunity to roam a little, gather whatever thoughts whatever brain cells I have left generate, and to focus again.


The focus, the flow state, whatever the hell it’s called. That’s the real goal. If I get to a place that disturbs the flow, I pull the focus away from there. Give the skateboard a non-rocky path to glide on. The more we all can do in a row in that state, the more productive we are on everything.


Well, what else can we do besides that? This option doesn’t always culminate in what I’m outlining here. Sometimes it leads to massive gaps in productivity, actually. The complete opposite of the goal! Hmm. It’s not the solve-all it was pretending to be on the tin. Maybe we can just push through the rock, work on that damn thing with a pickaxe for as long as is needed, until it’s done. If you’re like me, you’ll read that last part and your head replies “uhhh…” . It’s not the best idea I’ve ever had, I agree. But sometimes that’s exactly what needs to happen! Sometimes, you just gotta draw all the bricks in the background. Nothing but tough love and tough work.


Now of course, is this the solve-all a gruff parent would always utilize for every job? God no. In fact, this can be ridiculously detrimental in so many ways that I’m sure you’ve already had a few ways it sucks the life outta you while reading along. Uh uh. This isn’t it either.


Maybe the solution, then, is to do nothing at all? …


…


…


…


Well this is kind of boring, isn’t it?


…


…


..



.



.



No, I’m tired of this too.


Haven’t any idea about you, but I quite enjoy “doing” that final option a good chunk of the time. Maybe because it’s easier to do nothing about your situations than to act? Actually yeah, that’s likely it. I’ve found some counters to this situation, but no single solution seems to fix it. Indeed, I feel as though these solutions aren’t at all THE solution.


It’s quite hard to just do nothing continually. Maybe nothingness, interspersed with doing what’s working and working on what isn’t, is the way to do it?


Aha. That’s what I’ve been doing all along!!! Which seems to be the reason I’m writing and reasoning this out right now. Hmmmm. Okay. Well now we know how to get back to square one. Now to find square two… or point two, to continue the metaphor of earlier.


So how do we find this second point? I have some ideas, but I’d love to hear which ones you’ve come across.


Maybe it’s finding something that inspires you? Comics? Books? Rules? Reality? Creation? Art? Music? Moments? Emotions? The content matters, and yet doesn’t matter. It’s your connection to the content that is the meat of the matter at hand.


It might also be letting your imagination or subconsciousness take over for a little bit, however it happens, and plant something there that gives a goal to work towards. Of course the whole point of something is typically to complete it, but how do you complete it? Once we stop thinking, that thought might just appear.


More than likely, it’s a bit of both of these, and even more of something that I haven’t quite realized yet. It’s a combination of tools that builds a house, but more specifically it’s the RIGHT combination of tools that builds the house. Pulling back and seeing which one needs to be done at what time. Daydreaming, doodling, sketching, detailing, practicing, nothing!, track design, roughing, finishing, starting. They’re all tools, ready to be utilized at any time.


We just gotta pick which one is the right one for right now.


Everything (but mostly just anything) should be inspirational to a person. I can only try my best to build my houses, to build my points. Hopefully they won’t fall in on me! The same exact thing might go for you. Maybe the secret is that we all need to stop beating ourselves and each other up about the mess ups, and find the best next thing to do, instead of the next best thing.


Or maybe we just suck!

22/12/29 (open) 22/12/29 (close)

hello hello!

i'm thinking today about... well, lots of things. initially i was thinking about typing out some thoughts about tracing, about tas-ing, ya know. community based controversial items that get the fire of conversation flowing. now that i've typed those sentences out, however, it feels like i'd be describing a lump of coal. yeah.... very lumpy. black, crunch, unused, if you're just hanging out with it looking at you, anyhow. maybe i can throw those previous sentences into the controversy fire and not just talk about them adjacently, but today.....

i think i'll talk about coal.

how much do you know about coal? lots of different kinds of coal, there are. anthracite, bitluminous, sub-bitluminous, lignite. takes about a million years to form. it used to be peat, beat up pieces of old plant material, which isn't exactly the best energy source, but. the high pressure and heat coalifies it. coalifies. love that word. coalification too. nifty little words there. yeah, that's exactly what we're doing with it. so that's what we're gonna call it!

anyway. it's usually used for energy, coal is. it has other uses as well, but boy does it do its main job well. and for a great price, too. used to be the cheapest way to produce energy we had, and in a good deal of countries it still is. buuuut, since it's such a pollutant compared to the other ways we've started to procure in the past few decades, it's become, well, controversial, in a few forward thinking circles. what can you do. but! it's still the second most utilized form of energy! nothing those clima-tards can do about that, heheh. can't be sure on why they're so mad about things, or why they're so mad about the utilization of an amazing tool that's been at our fingertips for thousands of years..... i mean.

all it is is a tool! just like some of the people who use those tools can be, heehee! every tool has a use, even the thingamajigs and thingamabobs of the world. sometimes the use is to, well. well that's not really for any singular person to truly decide. but we can utilize and dispose of any tools we'd like, in any order we'd like to. here, i'll use free rider as example:
brush? hate it. never liked it. i'm gonna keep spamming the click button on the line tool with the connect on, thanks. curve tool? useful in drafting, but the end result of these slightly slippy lines isn't usually the right play. checkpoints? i'll plop just enough of them to keep people from being too annoyed to continue. usually, anyways... again, everything has a use, an over use, and an underuse, being that powerups, lines, and silly stuttery bike physics aren't really much of anything by themselves until someone CREATES something with them. and some people have found much better ways of utilizing the tools at their disposal than others.

that's what i seem to be understanding from making this pokemon track. since covid, i've been dabbling more seriously in the überlayered detailing styles in the editor. it creates a really neat effect, been calling it 'matte'. both kinds of lines do this lil crispify thing around the 200% and 400% mark. 100% zoom seems to do it too, just a bit harder to see that far away. everything sharpens, feels like it has some more clarity. go back and look through maple's primordial sketchlands, highly abundant there. here's an example:
View attachment 49815 View attachment 49816
see the difference? it's small. but it's there...

the effect is primarily on lines that are either horizontal or vertical, but it works in larger or smaller ways depending on that angle the line takes. 45 degree lines do some pretty neat matte as well. all the different various ways have a different vibe that they give to each other, which creates an amazingly easy way to get things done quickly while also looking interesting to the eye.

here we find yet another tool to utilize. this one really excites me actually. finding different ways to work with this weird lil mechanic has been extremely fun to draw with in the past few weeks. i'm sure people will find more and more ways to use it now that it's stated out loud... at least, i hope so!!

also shown in this example, i really enjoy the way both maple (and lolz!) show the depth with the lil tiny lines as they are here. i think cataclysm may have done it first with that universe track, but boy are we getting even better at it over time. i've borrowed (read: stolen away forever! muahahah!) this technique a TON. really enjoy how it blends itself out between black and gray to white and back again. it adds a light glistening to things that would reflect light to our eyes. works great. just been calling them glistens, to shove a word at it. i apologize for being awful at naming things!

of course, this and all ideas can be worked to look just awful with the right person at the helm. remember your old tracks? i sure do. but that's truly alright!! gotta break some eggs to make some scrambie the way we used to burn coal used to be even more time consuming AND even more polluting!! very good that it isn't too hard to see when a tool isn't being used properly, once you've figured out a better way to use it, anyway. putting in the effort to see and understand how to do things with a higher level of understanding than you have is a bear of a thing to do, yet the rewards for doing so are second to none.

does this mean that every technique is worth learning? that answer i feel should be left on an individual basis. for most people, the logical answer is a big fat "nah man, why do i need that ****?". i don't need to know how to mine and properly operate a coal mining facility, after all. not everything is needed to be learned, not every tool has pertinence in every other life. so it goes. but if it seems worthwhile to you, it likely will pop up in some other thing down the line that you're doing. you're usually going towards things you find worthwhile in your life, are you not? and it might not even be tied at all to what the original thing was! experience points are experience points, no matter how they're accrued.

big wrap em up point here, the big majority of us are using the exact same tools at our disposal to create a vastly large amount of different things. the next time you feel like doing anything here, ah screw it. anything anywhere! take a look at what you're utilizing and how exactly you're utilizing it. doesn't really matter whether that's for art or for work. try and improve on even the tiniest little marks that you leave in your life, see about your favorite way of throwing coal into the fire





oop! forgot to do the recommendations thing last time. not feeling the whole constructed way to end this AND do recommendations thing this time around... so i'll just put some things here.

uh....
i watched men in black this week? pretty good one.......

...
listened to music....
........
okay! that'll do. maybe uhh, just fill us in on the cool stuff you've found over this week? or what you're looking forward to this year? yeah! do that

 

consider this my subscription to endy's blog

 

I love you unironically

 

what are your thoughts on mole people smoking weеd

 

im sure kanye would be chuffed to know that one of his finest songs made it onto endy's saying of the week

 

they should be allowed the liberty of any true blue american. god bless the usa

 

i smoke flowers

 

I love hearing creative peoples thoughts on creativity. Subbing for more.

 

Very cool. I'll definitely stay tuned for more. Glad to here you are drawing again! Can't wait to see what you make. You should record yourself drawing so we can watch it (or so I can watch it haha). would've loved ro have seen your performance, sounded amazing. good luck!

 

henlo everyone
made another one of these. take a look, or say something completely unrelated if you don't want to read!!

22/12/12 (open) 22/12/12 (close)

Hi again.


Had a lot of ideas for this second installment going a lot of different ways. Most of them were around, ya know, the kind of stuff we do around here. Trackmaking, detailing, storytelling, design, shittalking, shitposting. Nothing would come out when it came to the page. To actually writing it out down here. Was a bit puzzled, I gotta say. Now that got me thinking…. Ruminating, possibly…..


The second thing in most things is the thing that tends to tell you where something might be going, for better or worse. Doesn’t really matter if it ends up Terminator 2 or Grown Ups 2, the second part of something gives you more than just coordinates. Two points connected make a line, and wherever that second point lands lets loose some kind of data, whether it wants to or not. Having this thought in context isn’t a particularly easy one to wield, but it inevitably gathers into this:


How do you make the second part the best that it can be? How do you make ANY part the best that it can be?


So anyway. I’ve been realizing something about the way I work. I start strong, then second think. Whenever I try and continue work on something, track, music, art, whatever,is usually the place that I tend to fail. Things start not panning out right. The plan worked, and now it’s not. Oopsie woopsie.


What to do?


So far, I find that often the best thing to do is something else. Take a break. Look at other parts life offers. Shrimple as that. If something isn’t drawing right, if things can’t write right, I pet my cat. One of em is usually watching what I’m doing at a chair just to the side of me, but if they aren’t!!! Now that gives me an opportunity to roam a little, gather whatever thoughts whatever brain cells I have left generate, and to focus again.


The focus, the flow state, whatever the hell it’s called. That’s the real goal. If I get to a place that disturbs the flow, I pull the focus away from there. Give the skateboard a non-rocky path to glide on. The more we all can do in a row in that state, the more productive we are on everything.


Well, what else can we do besides that? This option doesn’t always culminate in what I’m outlining here. Sometimes it leads to massive gaps in productivity, actually. The complete opposite of the goal! Hmm. It’s not the solve-all it was pretending to be on the tin. Maybe we can just push through the rock, work on that damn thing with a pickaxe for as long as is needed, until it’s done. If you’re like me, you’ll read that last part and your head replies “uhhh…” . It’s not the best idea I’ve ever had, I agree. But sometimes that’s exactly what needs to happen! Sometimes, you just gotta draw all the bricks in the background. Nothing but tough love and tough work.


Now of course, is this the solve-all a gruff parent would always utilize for every job? God no. In fact, this can be ridiculously detrimental in so many ways that I’m sure you’ve already had a few ways it sucks the life outta you while reading along. Uh uh. This isn’t it either.


Maybe the solution, then, is to do nothing at all? …


…


…


…


Well this is kind of boring, isn’t it?


…


…


..



.



.



No, I’m tired of this too.


Haven’t any idea about you, but I quite enjoy “doing” that final option a good chunk of the time. Maybe because it’s easier to do nothing about your situations than to act? Actually yeah, that’s likely it. I’ve found some counters to this situation, but no single solution seems to fix it. Indeed, I feel as though these solutions aren’t at all THE solution.


It’s quite hard to just do nothing continually. Maybe nothingness, interspersed with doing what’s working and working on what isn’t, is the way to do it?


Aha. That’s what I’ve been doing all along!!! Which seems to be the reason I’m writing and reasoning this out right now. Hmmmm. Okay. Well now we know how to get back to square one. Now to find square two… or point two, to continue the metaphor of earlier.


So how do we find this second point? I have some ideas, but I’d love to hear which ones you’ve come across.


Maybe it’s finding something that inspires you? Comics? Books? Rules? Reality? Creation? Art? Music? Moments? Emotions? The content matters, and yet doesn’t matter. It’s your connection to the content that is the meat of the matter at hand.


It might also be letting your imagination or subconsciousness take over for a little bit, however it happens, and plant something there that gives a goal to work towards. Of course the whole point of something is typically to complete it, but how do you complete it? Once we stop thinking, that thought might just appear.


More than likely, it’s a bit of both of these, and even more of something that I haven’t quite realized yet. It’s a combination of tools that builds a house, but more specifically it’s the RIGHT combination of tools that builds the house. Pulling back and seeing which one needs to be done at what time. Daydreaming, doodling, sketching, detailing, practicing, nothing!, track design, roughing, finishing, starting. They’re all tools, ready to be utilized at any time.


We just gotta pick which one is the right one for right now.


Everything (but mostly just anything) should be inspirational to a person. I can only try my best to build my houses, to build my points. Hopefully they won’t fall in on me! The same exact thing might go for you. Maybe the secret is that we all need to stop beating ourselves and each other up about the mess ups, and find the best next thing to do, instead of the next best thing.


Or maybe we just suck!

 

endy i had a dream you died in a car crash for some reason and that you missed your last performance and i woke up super depressed and went throughout my day thinking you had died, and i was sad because you just came back and that you were an actor and i loved hearing you talk

then i remembered that i didn't know where i heard it from

and you're not dead! thank heavens. Good issue mate. keep it up

 

It's a strange thing, part 2's never really as good as the first one. Or even artists (specifically musicians) getting worse over their careers. If it was anything like this game, when has someone released a track that they spent many months creating that is worse than their previous one? Eli put out his best work not long ago and he's been making tracks for more than a decade. I feel like we could only hope to reach that point where we got good enough at something to start regressing.

 

See the thing is I get better the more I practice and spend time on things

 

Seems to not apply in the film and music industry. People hit a peak and then tumble downhill.

 

i wonder how many people within those industries end up not needing to progress after a certain point? that feel satisfied with how they make things, in the ways that they do? that's what i ran into time and time again when i went to college for the stuff, anyway. nobody wants anything new, or to try, or to fail. only to succeed! which seems fair and logical, but doesn't lead to success in the way that it's pictured on the movie billboards. there are always people that are getting better and better at their craft (richard williams got to eighty when he finally said he could draw anything!), so it may just depend on how people decide to focus on things once they've actually achieved what they initially planned to do. incredibly interesting thought all the same

 

I think a lot of that's to do with pressured to perform. Contracts.

I have no obligation to draw therefore do it in my own time. Look at my work when I'm required to rush versus when I have free reign to draw at my own whim. It's two different kettles of fish

 

frrrrresh off the presses!

22/12/29 (open) 22/12/29 (close)

hello hello!

i'm thinking today about... well, lots of things. initially i was thinking about typing out some thoughts about tracing, about tas-ing, ya know. community based controversial items that get the fire of conversation flowing. now that i've typed those sentences out, however, it feels like i'd be describing a lump of coal. yeah.... very lumpy. black, crunch, unused, if you're just hanging out with it looking at you, anyhow. maybe i can throw those previous sentences into the controversy fire and not just talk about them adjacently, but today.....

i think i'll talk about coal.

how much do you know about coal? lots of different kinds of coal, there are. anthracite, bitluminous, sub-bitluminous, lignite. takes about a million years to form. it used to be peat, beat up pieces of old plant material, which isn't exactly the best energy source, but. the high pressure and heat coalifies it. coalifies. love that word. coalification too. nifty little words there. yeah, that's exactly what we're doing with it. so that's what we're gonna call it!

anyway. it's usually used for energy, coal is. it has other uses as well, but boy does it do its main job well. and for a great price, too. used to be the cheapest way to produce energy we had, and in a good deal of countries it still is. buuuut, since it's such a pollutant compared to the other ways we've started to procure in the past few decades, it's become, well, controversial, in a few forward thinking circles. what can you do. but! it's still the second most utilized form of energy! nothing those clima-tards can do about that, heheh. can't be sure on why they're so mad about things, or why they're so mad about the utilization of an amazing tool that's been at our fingertips for thousands of years..... i mean.

all it is is a tool! just like some of the people who use those tools can be, heehee! every tool has a use, even the thingamajigs and thingamabobs of the world. sometimes the use is to, well. well that's not really for any singular person to truly decide. but we can utilize and dispose of any tools we'd like, in any order we'd like to. here, i'll use free rider as example:
brush? hate it. never liked it. i'm gonna keep spamming the click button on the line tool with the connect on, thanks. curve tool? useful in drafting, but the end result of these slightly slippy lines isn't usually the right play. checkpoints? i'll plop just enough of them to keep people from being too annoyed to continue. usually, anyways... again, everything has a use, an over use, and an underuse, being that powerups, lines, and silly stuttery bike physics aren't really much of anything by themselves until someone CREATES something with them. and some people have found much better ways of utilizing the tools at their disposal than others.

that's what i seem to be understanding from making this pokemon track. since covid, i've been dabbling more seriously in the überlayered detailing styles in the editor. it creates a really neat effect, been calling it 'matte'. both kinds of lines do this lil crispify thing around the 200% and 400% mark. 100% zoom seems to do it too, just a bit harder to see that far away. everything sharpens, feels like it has some more clarity. go back and look through maple's primordial sketchlands, highly abundant there. here's an example:

see the difference? it's small. but it's there...

the effect is primarily on lines that are either horizontal or vertical, but it works in larger or smaller ways depending on that angle the line takes. 45 degree lines do some pretty neat matte as well. all the different various ways have a different vibe that they give to each other, which creates an amazingly easy way to get things done quickly while also looking interesting to the eye.

here we find yet another tool to utilize. this one really excites me actually. finding different ways to work with this weird lil mechanic has been extremely fun to draw with in the past few weeks. i'm sure people will find more and more ways to use it now that it's stated out loud... at least, i hope so!!

also shown in this example, i really enjoy the way both maple (and lolz!) show the depth with the lil tiny lines as they are here. i think cataclysm may have done it first with that universe track, but boy are we getting even better at it over time. i've borrowed (read: stolen away forever! muahahah!) this technique a TON. really enjoy how it blends itself out between black and gray to white and back again. it adds a light glistening to things that would reflect light to our eyes. works great. just been calling them glistens, to shove a word at it. i apologize for being awful at naming things!

of course, this and all ideas can be worked to look just awful with the right person at the helm. remember your old tracks? i sure do. but that's truly alright!! gotta break some eggs to make some scrambie the way we used to burn coal used to be even more time consuming AND even more polluting!! very good that it isn't too hard to see when a tool isn't being used properly, once you've figured out a better way to use it, anyway. putting in the effort to see and understand how to do things with a higher level of understanding than you have is a bear of a thing to do, yet the rewards for doing so are second to none.

does this mean that every technique is worth learning? that answer i feel should be left on an individual basis. for most people, the logical answer is a big fat "nah man, why do i need that ****?". i don't need to know how to mine and properly operate a coal mining facility, after all. not everything is needed to be learned, not every tool has pertinence in every other life. so it goes. but if it seems worthwhile to you, it likely will pop up in some other thing down the line that you're doing. you're usually going towards things you find worthwhile in your life, are you not? and it might not even be tied at all to what the original thing was! experience points are experience points, no matter how they're accrued.

big wrap em up point here, the big majority of us are using the exact same tools at our disposal to create a vastly large amount of different things. the next time you feel like doing anything here, ah screw it. anything anywhere! take a look at what you're utilizing and how exactly you're utilizing it. doesn't really matter whether that's for art or for work. try and improve on even the tiniest little marks that you leave in your life, see about your favorite way of throwing coal into the fire





oop! forgot to do the recommendations thing last time. not feeling the whole constructed way to end this AND do recommendations thing this time around... so i'll just put some things here.

uh....
i watched men in black this week? pretty good one.......

...
listened to music....
........
okay! that'll do. maybe uhh, just fill us in on the cool stuff you've found over this week? or what you're looking forward to this year? yeah! do that

 

im very glad that the pokemon contest has renewed your interest in frhd and the community.

 

ya know, dont think i ever lost a lot of interest in it? i just cut myself out of things is all. i've been working on a whole sling different tracks on and off for the past four years or so, never finished anything. i realized about four months ago in a coffee shop that i was letting the people in my life drastically affect how i felt about the creation of my own art, to the point where i wouldn't even make anything! very silly of me. i've since stopped caring what people have to say, unless it's positive or genuine constructive criticism. haven't had any serious depression issues since then, coincidentally....

 

wat tis about?