Pour Your Heart Out

I look back and think who I was and what I did.
I'll never forget the year of 2009 when I was adopted. I was abused when I was 1 years old and it went on for 3 years. 2008 my mom left me for good. 2009 I was adopted in March and I still live with the people who adopted me. I'm never gonna leave them they are my family. I'm getting older and I'll be a adult next year. My life is gonna change a lot. I'm nervous but I need to get over it. I'm not gonna stay young forever. For everyone who is just getting in highschool my advice to you is to focus on your school work and don't pay attention to the haters.

Always be yourself no matter what just be yourself!!!

 

hi

 

writing and reading are superpowers, dont let them go to waste. explore, wander, visit the depths of your own reality and extrapolate your vision. be a human and think.

 

real.

 

Free Rider is a gift, use it while you can and make it a better place from the joy it once gave you.

 

the importance of love and hate for human evolution.

in my existing years as a human being, i experienced quite a lot of emotions. from hate to love to desire to happiness to sadness...etc.
what every phase of those emotions had in common was their potential for my self-evolution. the specific tiny details that you come to understand through every emotion and the psychological changes it puts your mind through. when you love someone, you discover a totally different side of yourself and your personality that you never thought you had. you never knew that you can be the strongest yet the weakest person alive simultaneously, the happiest and saddest person together. you never knew that some random person can hold such an indirect amount of power over your mental state. a single sentence from them would shake up that entire little brain of yours for the better or worse. the adaptive methods you would use to try to understand whats happening could be lethal if you're not careful. a wrong decision along the way can ruin your life if left unsolved. thats why its important to understand ourselves and the way we were designed. and to understand that all these feelings are planted in us humans, but why? why do we feel? Why do we feel the things that we feel? for our own development! our brain is our most powerful tool, and we have to use it. we have to use it to unravel the enigmas presented to us by our creator. yes the brain is your tool, but its your puzzle as well.

if you disregard your feelings or pretend they dont exist, the chances of them backfiring at you down the road are almost certain. its ok to sometimes feel incapable, miserable, powerless and confused. these are also important to achieve an understanding of yourself. dont blindly follow ideas and society, feelings and personal understandings differ from each individual. sure you can and should listen to opinions, but dont blindly follow. seek evidence, powerful and reasonable opinions about each thing. always wonder about things, ask questions and dont care how "uncool" that may make you look. its a necessity to understand ourselves, for society as a whole and for the individual themselves. if you feel depressed, tired, worthless and/or insignificant, its a big sign to even seek answers more urgently. dont be afraid, be careful, and cautious. consider your options well and thoroughly then decide the correct course of action that aligns with natural human nature and inclination. every bit of that detail is important to improve, feeling everything that i have mentioned is important, to understand the value of the opposite of it and to make you more empathetic towards the others around you.

help others in their process. it will automatically help you as well, both the experience and the individual.

 

Amen

 

Love turns to "Ash" I just wanna forget about my past. - Bella




I'll explain later

 

this is a stick man bike game

 

Got transferred to another hospital and then got discharged on Tuesday. Still taking things easy.

Also for anyone on discord I can’t access it atm. Will get things resolved when I get back.

 

take it easy and send updates when you can

 

Will do.
Also it feels so good to finally read a message from you.

 

yo can u paraphrase that my brain is too small to comprehend whatever that 5 page essay was about

 

If you can't take the insignificant amount of time to read that then why should you want to read it at all?

 

I actually read it I just dont understand it lol

 

1st Paragraph:
Madara's saying that all these emotions that us humans feel, they can hurt us or strengthen us; bottom line is that they change us. Love changes you a lot. Some examples include discovering a new side of your personality or feeling mixed emotions that flatly contradict each other (like feeling happy and sad at the same time, or strong yet weak). Love for someone else also gives that person a lot of power or influence over you. A sentence can send your mind off the rails (because you react wildly to the way you perceive what the "someone else" said).

Example if you need it for the italicized sentence (open) Example if you need it for the italicized sentence (close)

Think of it as texting someone you really admire, like sending something to Char. You wouldn't want to talk to this game's developer like you're bros with him or something. Let's say you want to ask if he's working on any updates. Would you ask him with abbreviated texts like, "hay man, u workig on any neww stuff??"
or a clear, respectful message like, "Hello, Char. I'm sorry to bother you, but I just wanted to ask if you were working on anything new? Really excited to get some new things into the system. Thanks in advance!"

Of course, you probably don't truly love Char, being that you hardly know the guy, but you do respect him a lot. I would think that it's quite similar to the way you'd act towards someone you care very much about. If Char responds in a way that sounds even the tiniest bit annoyed, you'd probably think through your next message a lot more carefully. Same thing happens when you think you've just hurt a person you care about a lot.

So why do we feel these emotions? Because it helps us grow as a person. Our brains are complicated tools, and we have to learn to use it. Even if you could lift more weight than a guy with 10 years of fighting experience, you'd still lose because you hardly know how to use your muscles effectively, or your tools.

2nd Paragraph:
As we deal with these feelings and emotions, it's okay to feel sad or confused, but if you ignore them, those feelings and emotions will come back some time later and bite you in the butt. Instead of ignoring your emotions (or anything, really), try to understand it. Don't blindly follow certain beliefs and opinions, rather, try to understand the situation so you can prove to yourself why you agree or disagree with something. Don't worry about not "looking cool" when you have to ask questions, because it's necessary to understand things. Gaining a better understanding of things will not only help yourself, but people around you too, since you'll be able to help them see what's right.

Hopefully I didn't paraphrase too little or too much so that you'll be able to understand it. The really shortened version is this:
Emotions are a part of us humans, and they affect us a lot.
Good or bad, they help us evolve and learn, which helps us in the future.
Ignoring your feelings will hurt you even more down the road.
So instead, seek to understand them and you'll be able to improve yourself that way.

Hopefully you got something out of this. All of this is paraphrased/copied from Madara's post, assuming I understood and rephrased his message well enough.

 

tldr: Emotions are a part of us humans, and they affect us a lot.
Good or bad, they help us evolve and learn, which helps us in the future.
Ignoring your feelings will hurt you even more down the road.
So instead, seek to understand them and you'll be able to improve yourself that way.

 

thanks fam

 

i think my girlfriend died today. shes been pretty down for the last 3 days and hasnt been online at all today. im really concerned for her safety and im really afraid shes gone.

 

I don't think she's gone, even if she's really down. If she loves you, she'd never leave you like that without telling you, even though she's not feeling good. Might just take some time for her to reply back or feel like talking to people, bad feelings can shut some people down completely, happened with mine as well, and while unfortunately I don't think there's much you're able to do if you can't see her irl, I personally would think that she will be ok despite feeling bad right now, I don't think she'd leave you just like that