Pour Your Heart Out

Madara

 

wh

what

 

I like this thread. It's opened to everyone and everyone can pitch in
Not really a pour your heart out but music can be really relaxing in times of stress. Classical really helped me out when I pulled a back to back all nighter multiple times. Making music also helps get emotions out without talking.

For the laddies in school, if you make a mistake, you always have time to make it up. It may not be the same week, month or year but later along the road, you'll have the opportunity. As long as you do your best, that's all that matters. Stay optimistic and socialise with friends and family.

Totally unrelated to this thread, and you got the wrong video. It should be moyai.

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someone in my life has been struggling recently, i tried many things to cheer them up but with no result. after a while that person told me that they have noticed my efforts and thanked me for them but its just not that easy to just cheer up in the middle of all this.
i was happy with what they said and appreciated it but nonetheless, what they said was not any sign for me to stop trying to help. im not gonna annoy them, but i will take any chance i have to spark some light in their life. even if it meant for me to wait and wait until the right moment arrives.
i tried to look at the situation from a 3rd person perspective and noticed that we were both doing the right thing, acknowledging someone for their efforts from one side, and the consistency and constant reasonable efforts from the other. its a long personal journey for the first person and the second person is just trying to lend a helping hand.
after all, true healing only comes from within.

 

I came to ask for help with a situation that is happening

the problem is not with me, it is with a very important person to me, well, that person shows signs of suicide

I wanted to know how I can help this person, because I don't know how to help her any other way.

I already talked to her about her commenting with her parents or family members, but she told me that they were bullying her themselves, for example, she told me that she got trauma because her father yelled at her (and personally he is a guy very annoyed from the looks of it) and her other family members make fun of her because when she cries they say things I'd rather not say, and she said she was abused, but didn't go into details

so I told her to try to open up to a psychologist, then she said no, that she had already been to several and none of them worked.

she sometimes tells me she wants to commit suicide, well i know it's a joke but she tells me it's not and that at some point or another she will end up doing it...

oh I tried to help her myself, but then I don't know what I said she didn't want to talk anymore

and today she started sending me audio crying
she was sad because she couldn't understand school things and was afraid to run and such

then I tried to help her but then she didn't stay calm she started to bring up the subject of suicide and then she said 'bye' and left

after that I went to talk to her best friend, he told me that she had said the same thing to him, I asked him what we could do, but then he didn't even know what else to do

so I just don't know what to do, I've tried everything I could, and even though I can take her in, I can't be close to her all the time, and when she's alone, she stays that way

She stayed that way for so much she went through, such as: bullying in school, cyberbullying, abuse, betrayal and childhood trauma

I just wanted to know how to help her

(I know this is a bit of a complicated subject to post in a community where there are kids but I don't have anywhere else to talk about it)

 

can be tough to talk about, and not everybody knows the same pain
advice I have is to take time to just listen, offer them the chance to vent to you
or if you even needed help understanding what they're saying, not forcing but I'm always open to listen and try to translate what they are saying if it's too difficult to understand

 

thats not helpfull,i've alrealy tried this :/

 

Let her know that you'll be there for her. Make her feel safe with you; if she's abused by her household, you're most likely the one of if not the only people she's got. The best thing you can do is to "cry" with her. Emotional support is what she needs most right now.
If she's okay with it, try to talk to her and understand what her monsters are. Try to find a way to show her that life is worth living. Try to approach her situation rationally, and if you can't find a solution to her problems, keep talking and keep her engaged. If you can, visit her in-person to talk.

 

hmmm,i think that this is helpfull,thank you,i'll try it

 

Unnamed_Trackmaker

What a_drain said was perfect, and I'd like to maybe expand upon it. My advice is really just be around her. It honestly sounds like she's really alone right now and if you're able to help her through that, I'm willing to assume it would mean the world to her. Go meet up with her somewhere and hang out (or you could ft / call or text), you two don't even have to talk, but if you're in the same space and it's apparent that you're there for HER then sooner or later, she'll understand that she isn't alone.

One more thing that isn't really a thing to adjust but just a comment. If she ever starts to contemplate and plan to commit suicide, it is better to put her on the suicide prevention watch list than to try and fix it yourself. it's possible she may lose trust in you as a friend but a world where she is alive still is 100x better than one where she isn't. Believe me, it's a really hard decision to make but I know from experience, you will blame yourself if she gets hurt in anyway from this and you knew about it beforehand.

If you can help her with her issues and maybe incorporate a little of what a_drain or myself or anyone else who volunteers information, it hopefully won't get to that stage. I'm bringing it up in case it ever does

 

what is that "suicide prevention watch list"

 

A lot better way to have put it is the suicide hot line (800-273-8255).

 

i'm from brazil,where i can get the phone number?

 

It's a universal number so it's the same for brazil too. If you have a phone, enter the number into the keypad on the "Phone" app or "Contacts"

 

hmmm thanks,i'll use it if i need,thank you

 

My now ex-girlfriend broke up with me for like the 8th time and now she is guilt tripping me for not wanting to get back together and essentially gaslighting me into thinking it's my fault. She keeps texting/calling me and I try to be nice and respond but the last conversation I had with her resulted in the most intense physical pain from anxiety I've ever gotten and severely disrupted my mental and emotional stability. She keeps making it about her, when she was the one who broke up with me, and that resulted in the most emotional pain I've ever experienced. She even gossiped about me (clearly talking about me but not name-dropping) during a group prayer session at my church. She hugged me recently, and it was uncomfortable for me. She is seeming to get stalkish and it's very disturbing. I am fearing her giving me negative publicity in my life which may already be happening, and as a shy person I do not appreciate that at all. She tells me she cries all the time like every day and it's too much to bear and I am very prone to feeling guilty to begin with. She is acting immaturely about this and seems to be neglecting my side of the struggle/pain. It is becoming a huge disturbance to me.

 

Woah. I just saw this. I don’t know what’s been said since the post but I want to make some things very clear. Get that fuckng knife out of your room. Now. Im not trying to sound rude but the easier something is to get the easier it is to make a bad decision. I’ve had some voices in my head before, mostly degrading me and telling me how stupid I am. I don’t know who “she” is, but if you could tell me that might give me some insight. You don’t have to, though. I struggle with talking to people and I have some pretty big secrets that no one knows. I am going to be a 110 percent hypocrite, however, and just say this. I care about you, what happens to you, so I recommend making this brash impulsive decision : go tell your parents. Tell your friends. Heck, next time you get a check up tell your doctor. It’s going to be better. Tell the voice in your head to shut the f up. Listen to music while you go to sleep. A podcast. Anything but giving it what it wants.

sorry if I sound brash or rude . I don’t want to.

 

This is exactly what that someone needs right now, whether or not you realize it. Even if it doesn’t cheer them up it gives them some peace of mind. People like you are what help.

 

Ask her if she is considering it. At school. In public. Not on the phone, in person. Don’t let her brush it off till she gives you a straight answer. Tell someone else what’s going on. Even if she might hate you for telling someone else it’s the right thing to do.

 

thanks, but, i found out she was just kidding, the one who's really hurt is me, i always put the others in front of me, yeah....

and then she tells me that i never care about her, that i don't love her, it sucks, i do everything for that person and she treats me like that

I'm not saying that I want to commit suicide but I'm really hurt,some things that are happening that I prefer not to talk about.

and in case you ask, yes, it's a relationship

Also, what is considered an abusive relationship?