Pour Your Heart Out

Yeah I guess thats kinda the feeling I had to

 

... did you miss the part about physical and verbal abuse?
SeanPeyton but yeah, sounds like the best thing you can do is think about what your stepmom would want you to do and do it whether you think it's needed or not. It sounds like the things you would have to do are simple enough to be more than worth hopefully ending the abuse. That isn't to say what she is doing is your fault at all. I'm sure you know it's not at all right what she is doing to you.

 

hey guys! friendly reminder to not take medical advice or opinions from people on the internet who are basing their takes on their non-existent medical knowledge, very limited worldview, and even more limited understanding of you as a person ! there are obviously some impressionable and mentally-suffering people in this thread, and writing out medical opinions for such people is more harmful than beneficial !

^^^^^^^^^^^ posts like this are very unhelpful, and in just one small section of a sentence there is an incorrect fact given. do NOT self-diagnose, do NOT take diagnoses or medical opinions from people who arent qualified, and more importantly do NOT write these sorts of posts to begin with. it is not what this thread is for, and writing such things helps no one

and if you do believe you need professional support, speak to a teacher, councilor, parent, family member or someone you know well and trust, not some random on a bike gaming forum; people online are great for sharing burden's and alleviating short-term feelings of depression etc, but are absolutely no replacement for medical or psychiatric treatment

 

i am so glad someone has finally said this. thankyou

 

The big key word in that sentence: "it SOUNDS like". I in no way said "you do have" and to make things more clear I should have worded it like 'I may know what you're talking about, and it sounds like you may have-' and that's on me, Alright? I'm in no way self diagnosing anyone on this platform because I know I am in no way qualified to do so. All I'm doing is taking the minimal facts given to me that sound very familiar to situations I've come across in my own life and giving a rough guess on a possible disorder to the person I'm talking to, who can then go and do more research on to see if they match any other symptoms. Let me make it very clear that I will never self diagnose people and if that is what people think I'm doing then I apologize and will word things better.

The context of the situation was that the guy was struggling to understand what was going on with them and asked the community if they possibly may know what was up and if what he was experiencing was known. I replied with a possible answer. That's it.

 

Also I'll have you know that I spent 15 minutes prior to me writing that reply looking up and making sure that I had the correct disorder and that the disorder matched what the person was describing. Other people may do that but I assure you that I will not give out false information or information without prior research when it comes to peoples mental and physical well being. If someone needs to vent about a problem they're having, yeah I'm not going to spend several minutes looking up the best ways to help someone vent. But if someone is asking about something going on with their mental state or physical state? I will make sure I'm helping that person the best I can. Because I agree, giving false information and false knowledge can very well and more often than not hurt the person than help them.

 

here you say that you arent self diagnosing anyone

and now here you say that you did research to show someone a disorder that matches their 'symptoms'. that is self diagnosing.

volund is saying that as a whole, your 'research' (as well as other people's 'research') on touchy subjects like this is not beneficial in helping anyone. sure it is nice that you want to help someone and try and assist them through some struggles. but what you are doing by doing research and showing your findings to whoever is you are inadvertently leading the person to a wrong idea, even if you mean it or if you dont. for that reason it is best if you dont give people the wrong impression on something they dont have. i repeat, it is very nice of you and well intentioned of you to try and help someone out. but you do not have the qualifications to give people a basis on their mental state etc.

that is what volund is saying when he says this:

it is best not to take the advice or 'knowledge' from someone on the internet, or in this case, a bike game, no matter how clean the intentions are of the person who is giving the advice. above anything the frhd community can do, it is of the utmost importance that you seek help from someone with actual knowledge on the subject, not to listen to what kids are saying on a bike game. volund saying 'people online are great for sharing burden's and alleviating short-term feelings of depression etc, but are absolutely no replacement for medical or psychiatric treatment' is absolutely correct.

please note wayward that i am not mad at you, neither is volund.

 

yeah bro that's why i said "dont take medical advice OR OPINIONS from people on the internet". both are equally as bad, though as you have pointed out marginally different

yeah and this is exactly what im warning against/criticising, it isnt your place to make a "rough guess" as to if a person HAS A DISORDER OR NOT. like can you not understand how severe a disorder is, and how little respect or care you have about throwing around guesses as to whether someone does or does not have a disorder? something which a professional spends damn near a decade learning to diagnose?

the whole point of my post wasnt to get you to word things better, just dont mention medical diagnoses at all. your post was fine until it mentioned alexythymia, which doesnt even add anything substantial to your advice post regardless. like if you take out the sentence about alexythmia, your advice stays just as relevant without putting ideas about diagnoses in someones head, which is dangerous and unhelpful

i mean bro i did one google search and every article i read clearly says something along the lines of "It (alexythymia) is not a clinical diagnosis, and mental health professionals do not consider it a disorder." i mean cmon man, this is why you leave it to the professionals. even still, let's say you did some good google searches, it isnt the same as a doctor citing studies from peer-reviewed academic sources, scientific lab papers etc. it's not the same, 15 mins of google is not a substitute for a decade of learning science, medicine, psychology etc

you can help without trying to psychoanalyse what someone may or may not have, none of us are in the position to do this anyways as no matter what someone posts on here, we do not have the full or complete picture of their mental state

he shouldnt ask this to begin with and imo the mods should have deleted it, frhd forums are not the place to be asking this

tl;dr no one here should be offering more than moral support or advice on topics which are universal to the human experience, ie how to overcome the shame of being rejected or how to make friends

 

dantexpress Volund
As it's coming off that way I'll reiterate and say that it was not my intention to self diagnose. I was trying to help him with the two things he asked for: If he has something along the lines of a disorder, and what disorder he has if any. I took what he said about not feeling emotion to sadness or empathy, and gave a possible explanation of alexythymia which is literally "the inability to recognize or describe one's own emotions." I gave this as an option for the dude to then go and do more research on it and see of it fits anything else he is describing, and to then go and talk to a doctor or a licensed professional about it and see if he does in fact have something like that or if he has something completely different or if he has nothing at all. It's not smart to take something an unlicensed professional like it's fact, but it's also worth an attempt to go do research and see if they actually know a little about what they're talking about.

The guy was looking for an opinion from someone else. If he wasn't than I wouldn't have written what I did.

Also note that I'm not trying to take the place of a PhD doctor. I'm just trying to answer a question that with a very rough solution using 3 vague sentences and knowledge of past experiences.

 

It's not supposed to be beneficial. It's supposed to be a start where the dude can then go and see if he relates to any of the symptoms and or to go ask someone else if he may have that or if it's something completely different. The context of the situation is that he had no idea what he has, if he has anything at all, and wanted to know is anyone else in the community had an idea on something he might have.

I'm not playing with lives, and I understand how bad disorders are. I have multiple friends who have severe conditions and it's eye opening and heartbreaking to witness what they go through. Like I said before, for this specific matter, I have personal experience with situations like this so I'm not blindly firing shots in the dark trying to see if one sticks. There is very very little to work with when you're only given 3 sentences of information and I don't think there is anyone in the world who is able to make something of that with 100% certainty, but you can make a list of possible options that fit that description.

Yeah I agree that the mods should've taken it down. This is a place to talk about moral support and to help people with troubles in relationships and family, etc., not mental problems. However, I'm not going to just let it go when someone is asking for help and I have experience in situations very similar to their own.

 

I think they understand what you are saying, but I think you are missing the point. Any non-professional opinions on complex things like mental health disorders is just as unhelpful as self-diagnoses, regardless of whether or not someone asked for it for the reasons they stated. While the points you made make sense, this is very important to understand.

And by unhelpful, I mean can very possibly be destructive. If that were not a possibility, no one would be taking the time to go to such lengths explaining all this.

 

Alright, then I'll stay quiet the next time something like this comes up. I'm understanding what yall are saying, just trying to defend myself (which as you can see is going very poorly)

Also I want to apologize for repeating myself a lot. I'm not thinking about what I said in previous replies, I'm just trying to get thoughts down on a response to the reply.

 

Nah, we know you're just trying to help. Please do so when you can. Just leave out any medical diagnoses, that's all. You're one of the most helpful contributors to this thread. Wouldn't want this to stop you.

 

I don't have serious problems to be talking about on here, but I just wanted to say school sucks, as always, and life is hard, as always. But my mom is thinking about making school even worse next semester (not like vindictive evil just wants me to take more classes) So yeah, there's that. And she falls behind all the time in grading things so right now I have a math test, a math lesson and some research questions for science that I need graded sitting next to me on my desk. And these are from yesterday's school, so I'm gonna have to do today's school as well with these. I know that she has other stuff to be doing, like life away from homeschooling her two teens and a tween, but it still frustrates me. I might as well be complaining about Char not making the glider, lol. But the thing is, it builds up over time, especially with math. Algebra 2 isn't the easiest course to be taking, even for someone like me who is supposedly good at math. At the end of every week I have a test and most weeks I just do it on Monday because by Friday I am so done with school I'm lucky if I get anything done. Maybe some history. So then I have the test that needs to be graded and because I had two lessons to do on Monday only one of them get done and I have stuff to do before school is done on Thursday so then on Monday my mom asks if we have everything done for school last week and I have to bite back sarcastic remarks because I bugged her about grading it all weekend and she said she wouldn't do it, so then we have three lessons to grade on Monday, along with a test and a lesson to do on Tuesday, and the whole cycle repeats itself. Some weeks I bug her at the right times and it all gets done, but usually I have work from last week to be doing on Monday. And next week is Christmas break so I can count on it not getting done then. Ugh...

 

Me and my parents often and I just was fighting with my parents for an hour, I dont want to but the fights randomly happen and I don't like them but I just don't know why they happen

 

I was joking. Also yo, your mom is out of control and you should probably tell someone irl and show them and get put into a different family thi sounds like a power struggle.

 

No offense but I love algebra. I take that personally (not really)

 

that makes no sense cause there was no need for me to do my job :|

 

You...love algebra? How long have you been doing it for?

 

sorry for posting then, i will stop