Pour Your Heart Out

Thanks my man, I really appreciate your help, good luck to you too.

 

im trying to learn russian and i started a couple days ago and if there is anyone else that knows russian do you have any tips to learning it?

 

I suggest to just keep with passion learning and as the time goes by you'll learn them .

 

please explain why and please don't
I wanted to do the same at once but all it does is bring more pain
do please don't let's just talk about it

 

The amount of suicidal people, holy ****
this world is ****** up
i didnt know it censored bad words

 

man your not helping

 

Yeah it is

 

if you just start a convo we could talk about it if you would like

 

Maybe I’m a good ghoster here. Maybe I’m respected here. But that all goes away in the real world. Irl I’m a loser who gets stepped on and walked all over. I’m a people pleaser to the extreme and I just end up disappointing everyone it seems. I have bipolar 1 disorder and it’s the kind of bipolar with the higher risk of suicide. Because you can be so high and then drop to the lowest of the low. I’ve been in a psych ward for two straight weeks, been drugged up with all kinds of meds that just leave me exhausted and numb and miserable. I just want to be normal. The easiest tasks are difficult for me. I do not function as well as I should for someone my age. I run to this stupid game among other things to escape the overwhelming amount of misery and dread of life that I have. I just feel like I want my life to be over.

 

But I’m just a sensitive idiot don’t mind me. Idk why I said that on here

 

ya know im a germ too when it come's to the outside world. This is the only place where i truley express myself because i have a hard time doing/saying it to others. Im sure you will pull through sometime just try to stay positive and think about the better and not the worst



Also does anyone know how to deal with 12 annoying 6 graders. Yesturday when i was walking home with my friends they were moning and screaming like the idiots they are and my friend told them to shut up but they never so i turing around and told them to shut the fu** up but they still were doing it so I toldd them if they don't shut the fu** up I will beat all their a**es at the same time and they went quiet but today they were doing it again :\ also sorry for all the swearing

 

I can't begin to understand how it feels to have bipolar 1, but I hope this helps anyway.

I understand wanting to please everyone. It sucks when someone doesn't like you, especially if you feel the reason is your own fault. I almost became that way until I realized I was doing my best to be what I felt is a "good person". I found that when someone didn't like me it was often because they didn't know me (and I almost always didn't know them). Then I thought why do I care if they don't like me when I haven't given them a reason to? I could come up with a million reasons to blame myself, but the bottom line is they don't know me and I don't know them. If they don't like me, that is their problem. I stopped caring in those situations although I didn't hate them back. If this sounds anything like the situations you find yourself in, please give this thought process a try. Hopefully it can relieve a lot of stress that might come from constantly trying to please everyone.

You say that you seem to end up disappointing everyone. Do they tell you this or did you ask them? I know that sound like a dumb question because it feels easy to tell if someone reacted negatively to your actions or words. In cases like this though, it sounds like you are way too hard on yourself. I am willing to bet the people you think are disappointed are not as disappointed as you think, if at all. I'm not sure how you can convince yourself of this, but hopefully me telling you is worth something on its own.

Edit: ok thought of something that might be worth thinking about. Do you feel like you have disappointed anyone here on frhd? If so, how and why? If not, why do you think that is? Respond to those questions here if you give it some thought and feel comfortable sharing.

 

I don’t think I’ve really disappointed anyone here. Maybe Madara when he was hyping up my return and I was super rusty. I mainly disappoint myself on here because I want to be the best ever when I’m clearly not. But maybe I have when ppl are telling me to ghost a track that I can’t beat or can’t get first on. In those cases there’s expectations I can’t deliver on, which is much more prevalent irl.

 

A lot of what you said actually applies to what I’m dealing with, thanks. I’ve heard it before though, it’s hard to put into practice.

 

Even the toughest of men have their weakest moments.

 

I dont think that you should feel bad when people overestimate you, just because you perform well in some areas doesnt mean you have to hold yourself to the same standards in areas you arent as experienced in. if you feel that you need to be better than you are, then you should take some time to focus on whats keeping you from being able to do what you can't. improvement in certain things comes from trying them, and if you ignore those certain things then you will improve far slower than you think. wanting to be the best ever is only human, and most of the humans who desire it arent willing to put in the work to get as good as they try to be. i have no idea how bipolar disorder affects the advice im giving, but if it does, then take this message with a grain of salt. otherwise, practice makes perfect, anywhere you put the work into, irl or frhd.

 

I don’t think ghosting is a good coping method for suicidal tendencies

 

I think the opposite, this means your not afraid to open up, which is the the opposite of sensitive. Sensitive ppl would be to scared to speak up and would rather take their own life then share a little bit about what they are going through. I'm proud of you for opening up because it took me years to open and get help.

There was points in life that I thought the same, I'm usually quiet on here but I feel like its my duty to help ppl who are going through the pain I once went through.

 

I honestly think I numb the empty feeling that I'm not good enough, I don't look good enough, my best isn't good enougb etc by listening to music and being with friends. I know its probably not healthy but... It helps me forget about the pain.

 

Being around friends is a perfectly fine coping mechanism idk about music, but music is what everyone uses (including me) so it’s fine