Pour Your Heart Out

Psalm 34:18, “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”
Matthew 5:3-4 “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. "

 

Thanks for all the support guys, I didn't remember how good this thread was

Fluoride
I've been told to do that like 100 times, but it's not that easy, as I said before you all are just a group of strangers that can't even judge me. But whenever I'm in from of a sanctuary or smnth, I just don't feel like God is there, I can keep staring to a cross or any representation of god and yet I will not think God is there. I know that this is because I've lost a lot of faith and all that, yeah I'm just trying to recuperate all that, and then we'll see what happens and if I'm able to talk to him.

AfterImage
Man, I really appreciate that you told me you feel like me, that really lightweights me a lot.
But, you are not a ugly piece a' ****, you are just how you are, you are beautiful on another aspects, and I'm telling you I'm not Brad Pitt man. If I show you how I was at 12-13 and how I am now you would see a big glowup, it will just come, and you won't even notice it. Just wait, the body will do his thing.
Talking about friends, maybe you don't have many friends because you don't want and that's ok. You can be an introvert too. But I highly recommend you to get yourself some good friends, not fake friends or anything, good friends, people in which you can trust, tell them anything etc etc, I'm telling you I only have one friend of that quality and it's amazing.
You said you accepted the fact that you are worthless and that you will forever be alone. Well, you can work on that. As xshaade said, you'll eventually find the right person for you, but you have to be nicer and be a more sociable person in order to do that. And I'm telling you this, because 2 years ago I was a introvert that nobody talked to, but I restarted again and things went better.
Btw I'm not telling you to become an extrovert, just to be more sociable and friendly to people.
And I'm not the main topic here, everyone is the main topic. Anyone that has a problem should be the main topic.
You should follow all the advices people have given to you, and that should make you feel better.
I support you, and I believe in you.
You'll always have me if you wanna talk
Btw I'm also 15 (for 2 days but still 15 )

Wayward
Well I really don't know. I would just want to see it. yet suicide is not on my near plans lol

Thanks you all for all the support given, you are really amazing and im feeling better now

 

Sltg28 you don't feel God at a sanctuary or when you stare at a cross because that is not where God dwells. God dwells in believers, our bodies are a temple for his Spirit.
"Jesus answered him, “If anyone loves me, he will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him." - John 14:23
“Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body." - 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

You don't need to go to a church to "feel" God, if you entrust your life to Jesus the Christ, God will be with you wherever you go, just as God was with Jesus wherever he went while on earth. Prayer is necessary when it comes to faith, walking by his spirit daily, denying yourself daily to do exactly what Jesus taught (if you want to know how God wants us to live our lives read Sermon on the mount, it begins in Matthew Chapter 5)[/QUOTE]

 

Sltg28 1, happy early birthday! I hope you have a pleasant celebration at the very least. And 2, I've learned from experience with others, you affect and mean so much to more people than you will ever know. Think of it like a fire, you're the spark that lit the flame (some action you did) which goes on to affect and change so much more than your little spark, allowing new life to flourish in your wake (the consequences of your actions). Now without that fire, everything is old and broken and dead, with no way to be renewed and restored. You change so much around you without you even knowing and to take that away from everyone else would be detrimental. (I could go into the butterfly affect, but I don't think I really need to, you get the idea). What I'm trying to say is what I said in my original reply, if you were to remove yourself from this clusterf*ck we call earth, nothing good could ever come from that, no matter how hard you try.

 

I’m not making fun of you, you’re just digging yourself into a hole for attention and it’s not a good thing for anyone to do it and I was only trying to help

 

its not the same for everyone tho. just because this might not work for you and you think it makes things worse. its most likely not the same for others. try to keep your words positive

 

All depression is manageable, although I’m very aware it’s worse and better for others with a good mindset and an attitude change almost anyone can bring happiness back to their lives, like look at all those people with permanent life changing disabilities that weren’t even their fault, something like that will temporarily crush a person but eventually it gets better and they end up being more happy than the average person, although it’s not an instant relief to mental health problems it does eventually work

 

waagon
Okay, I get your point. I think that I just need to resettle my connection with God. Another thing that I think that affects me is that I've been out of his grace in A long period of time, so I think that I just have to restart, have a good confession and everything will be better.
Thank you so much

Wayward
1. Thank you for that, I really appreciate it.
2. That example is perfect. I really get your point. But sometimes people just don't want my fire to lit, they just want to extinguish it. Some people would love to never see me again, but they'll just act like they care about you and so. And then there's other people that wouldn't care if you left, but they will still demand your help and care. And I'm telling you this while being happy as f*ck, cause I got a good grade in a subject I thought I was gonna fail, and also because tomorrow we will celebrate my birthday, but it actually is on Sunday. And by this I'm telling you that I'm really being honest here, and I know who those people are, and that really angers me, because they won't give a sh*t about you but they'll still be able to tell you that they hate you because you didn't helped them while they were down. But there's another thing that makes me angry, it is that situation in which somebody tells you that they are having a bad time, and they are feeling bad, etc etc. So you listen them, care for them, help them whenever they need it, so you actually soak all of their depression and bad feelings out and absorb them. But whenever you tell them that anything is going wrong, that you aren't feeling okay, etc etc, they will just act like they don't care, or they'll tell you to go get a psychiatrist or something. That really upsets me.

Imma repeat this but idc. You guys are really angels in earth, you really made my day, and I'm feeling better rn.
A sincerely Thank You.

 

That is quite a bold statement. "All depression is maneagable". How would you know? Are you a therapist? I can tell you, that I was not on here because I want to "complain for attention" I actually wanted to talk to Stlg28. Thanks though.

 

honestly I dont understand how when I study so much for my finals, get quizzed by family and friends and yet still fail my finals, I mean I still have mostly A's in all my classes I just dont understand If i'm dumb or something

 

in a way this is true, depression requires the person to know that they need help, and they need to be willing to get help, I come from a dark place, with a dark past, but I mean its going to sound cringe but I understood that my past wasn't good whatsoever and I mean getting help, really helped, I've been talking with a therapist and I mean me and my therapist are really close, I only have the therapist still for if I were to go back to my depressive state of mind.

 

It certainly is a bold statement and can come off as rather insulting if taken the wrong way, but yes depression is manageable not always curable though, although other mental health conditions are much harder to deal with aka ptsd, schizophrenia for obvious reasons, but the longer you dig yourself into the whole of I’m depressed just end it already the harder it is to manage, that’s why the best thing to do is to: seek help, find things that make you happy and enjoy what you have already, lets say you still have the same mindset when you’re 20-21 you will have no motivation to live basically because you’ve been hurting for so long with little to no enjoyment so you probably won’t get a job, find a healthy relationship and/or friendships and at that point you’re at pretty high risk of doing something you shouldn’t because it just doesn’t seem to get better, I used to feel this way a lot but eventually I found the motivation to deal with my problems and now I’m much happier and have my 2nd shift at work tomorrow

 

Alright still staying on the fire analogy, not everyone likes fires. Take the fires from last year,(I'm going to use the Oregon fires because that's where I live). No one liked that fire, it burned half the state, multiple cities went up in flames, and more forest was burned than I can to know about. But now, new life is able to grow and flourish in the forest where it never could before, the cities are rebuilding better than when they were pre-fire, and over all the plant life has benefited so much more than where it was before hand. No one liked the fire when it was happening, but so much good came from it that helped more life and people than anyone cared to admit.

Also, I completely understand what you say about people not caring about you, but demanding you help them. It happens to me so much that I've honestly accepted it as being a normal thing. I always now just stock up on emotional strength and have learned to hold their problems in such a way that it doesn't affect me as much so I don't disappoint so many people in preparation that no one will save me from my problems. (no idea if that made sense at all). But the one thing I highly recommend and the thing that has helped me more than anything else is a therapist (if you don't have one already and I don't believe you do based off of what you said earlier), and here me out. You need someone to talk to, anyone. It doesn't have to be someone on a 2d bike game if you feel like you can't trust people as much or you feel like it's wrong to talk about your emotions on other people, that's fine, but talk to someone. And make sure to play it out. I didn't start seeing the benefits of a therapist until ~6 months into our sessions, but it helps so much once you get that base line of trust and start openly talking about your feelings. If your parents won't let you get a therapist, than try something else. Put your emotions into lyrics, put them into a punching bag or a weight set, just do SOMETHING with your emotions. If you feel comfortable with a frhd member, ask if they would be able to help. I can name a bunch of people who would love to help you out.

 

AfterImage
Lmao nice coincidence xD.
Then there's just a simple thing that you have to do. Just trust in someone. And I'm telling you this while I've had lots of fake friends that talked on my back and so. Just think who could you trust, because you think that one is a good person, he's gon' help me and so. Then just create a good relationship with them. And then everything should just flow like a river. You need to just trust in the people you know, maybe not everyone is bad or fake, maybe there's that friend you need out there waiting for you to ask them for the homework and then start the greatest of the relationships. Who knows. You should just think who of your friends can help you to feel better and so, then build a relationship. But, a relationship is like a gigantic building, it goes brick by brick, and it will take some time, but, eventually, you'll find out that you've met the person that makes you feel right about yourself and then you'll feel better.

Wayward
Okay I get the point that fire makes everything regrow better than what it was before. But people worked hard to make that fire stop, and they made it. That's exactly what happens to me, people try to extinguish me, to make me fall apart, to make me feel like nobody cares about me. And, not yet, but eventually they'll extinguish me (suicide).
Talking about a therapist, I'm not prepared yet. Let me explain. The idea of a therapist just makes me feel like I'm going crazy or something like that, I just don't want to feel that. I just want to think that I'm strong enough to overcome all this one day. But I'm not saying I'll never consider it, I'm just saying that I'm not prepared yet. Just for that reason.
The same way as I've not told my parents yet.
Yet I still have my gf, I talk with her about everything. It's probably the most confident person I've been with.
I'll just stick to what you told me to do, I'll stick to training. I train 3 days a week, so I'll just put my heart and soul into it. I'm going to start gym soon so I'll pour myself there. I like the idea. Imma just die training, and that's better than dying because of a stupid depression. I like it. And I'll follow that. Imma just become the best player in my f*cking country. Yeah. That's what I'm going to do.

I really appreciate all the help given guys, I'll keep you updated on how's it going

 

I like this man

 

yeah you're right about the fire thing, and it sucks when people try to make you feel lonely and worthless. I'm glad you got your girlfriend, someone to fall back to when the world burns down around you. Not a lot of people have that. And if you're going to die, might as well do it being the best people you can be. Good luck my dude, stay strong

 

Right now I'm just ghosting to try to numb my pain.

 

yep. and not a good one

 

yup true

 

oh no what's that