Pour Your Heart Out

thanks, I hope it works out well for me as well

 

Part 2. I have defended myself with force before. Like I said, I learnt karate when I was younger so I'm not afraid to fight back

 

Being Christian, we're not supposed to be "for" homosexual or otherwise sexually-oriented people, but I'm not against them either. I don't care if you're straight or LGBTQ. However, that being said, I think that it is, from experience with other, non-related things, to confront maybe one parent at a time, so you don't, like you said, get tongue-tied or have someone blow up in your face. But no matter what happens, just know that we're here for you.

 

Best of luck. Try to ask them questions like what would your reaction be if I came out as bi, just hypothetically

 

My family fights all the time and when that happens I just go sit in my closet in the dark.
I know that everyone's family fight's but I can't take it anymore.
My mom and dad take's their anger out on me.
My sister is about to turn 18 and she is so annoying.
Does anyone have any tips that I can use?

 

ignore your sister

 

That's harder then you think

 

no it isn't, if you need help use earplugs(or something that makes sound quieter) shut your door and boom

 

Hmmmmm

 

Madara you are an absolute angel. I love reading through this, as many of the aforementioned topics are relatively similar to those Im going through. Thank you so much for helping all of these people.

 

F.I.R.E.B.E.A.S.T
i personally just ignore it when i can't do anything but these are a few things that i learned and hopefully might help you.
1. putting your headphones on and listening to something calming (which im sure you already do) but instead of going in your closet, just be normal and sit in your chair. if your parents have been fighting for a very long time you should've been gotten used to it by now. i mean parents shouldn't be doing this anyways but try to be normal about it.
2. explaining the situation to them. telling them how much they fight and how sad it makes you feel. now depending on the situation this could be either good or bad, this is why i want you to evaluate your situation carefully before deciding what to do. i personally have tried both, i once told them how much they were fighting and how loud and disturbing it was, they acted cool about it and they stopped for a while. then a while later the same thing happened and they didnt respond well and they got mad at me. so it really depends whether they will accept the thing you will tell them. the way you explain it is alos important so be aware of your words if you decide to tell them.
3. asking other relatives to get involved. i once heard you talk about your aunt and how supportive she is. she may a good person to explain the situation to and asking her to talk with your parents.
4. watching a fun show also to distract you from the noise and atmosphere.
5. talking to someone about it and sharing the experience. maybe the person you share it with gives you very helpful and more accurate tips to help you cope with it.
its also important to remember that your parents' issues are not your responsibility. its their problems and their own to solve and work it out.

 

Thanks man!

 

Scythe got dumped... prayers for him

 

You sister

If you feel annoyed by your sister, chances are that she feels annoyed by you too. Blaming her for how you feel will not solve problems, but talking about it with her may.

Before you approach her, ask yourself why she annoys you. Is it the specific comments she makes about you? Does she complain about you? Is she unwilling to help you when you ask for help? Does she use your stuff without permission?

I suggest you tell her how you feel and ask her how she feels. Make sure that you do not blame her for your feelings and you keep your anger in check when she talks about her feelings. If you show your anger to your sister she will want to annoy you.

If the two of you accept that you both feel annoyed by each other and are willing to work towards a solution, you have already made significant progress. You do not have to come up with a solution in the same sitting. You can conclude the sitting by agreeing that both of you will think of ideas that can solve your conflict or problem so it does not happen again and that both of you will reconvene on a set date to discuss the ideas.

Remember the ideas to solve the conflict or problems should be simple and achievable. Perhaps establishing few ground rules and boundaries is a good starting point.

 

The first part is really rude

 

Sorry if you find it rude. My intent is to give you some useful tips based on my life experiences. When I am talking about not blaming your sister for how you feel, I am talking about what I do when I am angry or upset. I often blame others for how I feel when I am upset. Over years, I have learned to focus on understanding myself and my feelings rather than other people's actions. Understanding myself and my feelings have helped me articulate them to other people and work with them towards an amicable solution.

 

Your parents

A lot of parents fight. My parents still argue a lot. I still wonder why they choose to be together with all the arguments they have.

I suggest that you talk with your parents about how you feel when they fight or argue. You will not be able to change them if they are not willing to change. Talking with them, however, will help you and them to understand each other's positions better. I read on this forum that your parents lost their jobs a few months ago. Is it perhaps the financial pressure that is the cause of their fights?

You could also call a family meeting after everyone has calmed down to talk about why the family is always fighting. Give everyone a chance to suggest a solution. A good solution could be to consult a counsellor or a therapist on how to stop the fighting in your family.

Whether or not you can change your family with these intervention strategies, you can always change yourself. Instead of hiding in the closet, learn to go with your daily life ignoring it as if it is background noise. I agree that it is easier said than being done. Although you are not in control of what your mother does when she takes her anger out on you, what you can control is what you do when she does what she does.

If you can not change anything in your life at present, focus on what you can learn from this to improve the quality of your life in the future. After seeing my parents argue a lot, I vowed to myself that I will not be in a relationship in which I argue with my partner daily. Guess what? My husband and I argued a lot during a phase of our relationship. However, we learned to work through our problems by having calm conversations about our conflicts and problems instead of having flared-up and heated arguments.

 

dude you're stealing Madara's job.

 

think its best if madara made another madara

 

nah its all good lol. i actually want everyone to give advice if you know a good one or you have been through something similar.
a_drain and RubeGoldberger have been super helpful as well. i appreciate anyone who helps